Have you ever had a "wardrobe malfunction"?

[Dookus]

C'mon folks, fess up. Did something unexpected ever pop out at an inopportune time?

Personally, I've managed to keep my junk under wraps, but I wanna hear your stories.

[prole_for_peace]

1. i was dressed as a harem girl for halloween a few years

(and a lot of pounds ago). i was wearing a vest over a little bra-like top. a friend wanted me to go without the vest. when i took it off...well my nickname should have been "nip"

[stanwyck]

2. Yes. Halter dress "malfunctioned"

giving me a Janet Jackson moment (actually...many moments. I didn't even notice. I'd had a few drinks) I was in New Orleans, in a bar, listening to a band. Finally, a bartender came over with a safety pin.

[TXlib]

3. When I was in high school, as a freshman

I was on the X-country team, and I was in t shirt and running shorts for practice.

I was talking to these three girls. Suddenly, my shorts (and underwear) were around my ankles.

One of my buddies had pantsed me right in front of the three girls!

They started giggling hysterically.

My reaction? (20 years later, and I'm proud of myself for it...)

I just pulled 'em back up, and went on as if nothing had happened.

It really did defuse the situation.

[SoCalDem]

4. I went swimming with jean shorts on, and when I got out too fast

they fell down :)

The guys we were with did not mind much :)

In fact , my boyfriend always referred to them as my trick pants :)

[eyesroll]

5. Hm...I split the seam on my skirt while getting out of a taxi

And I means split -- clear to the waist. Unfortunately, I was heading from the taxi into a business function at a museum. I kept my -- thankfully, long -- coat on until I made it to a hotel, where the front desk had a sewing kit. (I now carry a kit at all times.) I was wearing hose and modest underwear, so while this was a "wardrobe malfunction," it was more just inconvenient and embarrassing than scandalous.

The top half of my swimsuit ended up near my waist when I went down a waterslide. I was probably 10. And I don't think anyone noticed -- I fixed it before I got out of the water.

[OhioStateProgressive]

6. i caught my " " in the zipper once when I was young(nt)

[TXlib]

13. Son, is that the beans, or the frank?

[OhioStateProgressive]

14. one of the plurals:)

i was young...it was bad:)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

20. Aieeeeeee I hurt from reading that (nt)

[Tinoire]

7. Well yes...

When I was 19 I wrapped my torso in an ever so sexy old lace mantilla and went dining in a really exclusive San Francisco restaurant. Because the lace was so fragile and I was so tiny at the time, I clipped the front together with an earring stud.

It held wonderfully and the outfit looked daring and stunning. In a particularly animated rendering of heavens knows what story, I made some stupid grande dame gesture with my glass of wine... The stud came apart, the lace slid to my lap and there I was, bare-breasted & very red-faced with my extended arm holding a glass of wine.

What can you do but laugh?

He proposed the next night. First marriage :)

[SoCalDem]

8. The video would do well online

:evilgrin:

[arcane1]

16. hmm, do you still have it?

would go well with the wine at Tommys Joynt :evilgrin:

[bobthedrummer]

9. I once sold a car to a mom and daughter

with my fly unzipped inadvertently, I don't know if that malfunction was noted by them or not, it didn't prevent me from doing my job though!

[Red State Rebel]

10. 10 Year Class Reunion...

I wore a strapless dress with a lace jacket over it. Out on the dance floor I was getting warm and took off the jacket - to my suprise, the strapless dress had shifted itself around to where the boobs of the dress were under my left armpit and the side of the dress was nicely lined up under my strapless bra.

I danced with my arms at my sides the rest of the night.

[geniph]

11. I used to swim twice a day back in high school

and swimsuits wear out fast when you swim in chlorinated pools, particularly the elastic. Because I hadn't the money to replace my last disintegrated suit, I inherited one from my older sister. There were two things wrong with this: it was a two-piece (not good for serious swimming) and my sister has a DD bosom, which I assuredly did (and do) not have. The mishaps with that g'damn suit were legion - what little I had up top falling out of the cups, the halter coming untied, etc. - but the big thing was that a racing dive would take the bottoms clean off every time - and I mean off to the point that I had to swim back and get them. Not a way to win races. A couple of times I just finished my race without bottoms, then looked for my suit when I finished.

Some of the poor guys on the team had equally embarrassing things happen - they'd usually wear baggy boxer-type suits for practice, but would strip down to Speedos for competition. Now, teenage boys wearing teensy tight little Speedos, and surrounded by teenage girls in swimsuits...well, there used to be much one-eyed "peeking" going on. Some of them just blew it off and went about their business, but others were mortified.

[MissMillie]

12. I would never expect

flimsy clothing to hold up to the weight of these girls.....

[CrownPrinceBandar]

15. When I was a kid...

my family would go for a two-week vacation on the Outer Banks in NC. I would love to body surf. Unfortunately, after a particularly big wave the tie on my trunks broke and I was pantsed. After that my family referred to me as the "Nags Head flasher."

[July]

17. Yep, seventh grade, late '60s

Thought I was pretty cool in a hot pick minidress, but during a fire drill with the whole school outside in the parking lot I discovered that my rolled-up half-slip (yeah, we wore slips then) had unrolled and was down to my knees.

[cally]

18. I was 12 or 13

and as it turns out it was my last time with some of my childhood pals. We a had reconnected with some old family friends for a weekend campout. We all went swimming our to a raft that we took turns diving off. They were 16 and 14 year old boys. I was the youngest. On our final dive, my string bikini shattered. I hung back at the raft trying to tye it together. Eventually my older sister swam back trying to help. Then the two boys tried to help. :eyes: Not to mention the teen in the sailboat circling around. It was nothing to do with this incident, but the families never had a weekend campout again.

[Loonman]

19. Never put your boxers on backwards

Forget you did it, then go to a beer party.

[Dookus]

21. what happened?

didja try to pee and panic when you couldn't find "it"?

[gator_in_Ontario]

22. flipped over in a canoe once...

all the way around. Before the "flip" I had been in a tube top. It took me awhile to realize why my brother was laughing his ass off, and bystanders on shore were clapping. Geeez...

[scarlet_owl]

23. Yes. I was pumping gas one day in a long, broomstick

skirt. It was a very windy day and my skirt blew right up, exposing my rear end for all to see. The guy the next pump over started laughing. Another time when I was a teenager, I was wearing a bikini top and I went off the high dive. My breasts came out of the top when I hit the water. I came up for air and flashed the entire community pool.

[Insider]

24. LOL

biggest laugh of the day. thanks dookus, for title and text..."junk under wraps" LOL

[YellowRubberDuckie]

25. Well, in high school, I wore pajama bottoms to school occasionally...

And I got pantsed a few times in Show Choir and marching Band...does that count?
Duckie

[blondeatlast]

26. Um, yes, in junior high school, in the locker room, no less. BTW, I'm

a female person. How nothing managed to pop out and yet expose me so much, I will never know.

[camero]

27. Happens all the time

When I forget to zip my fly. :)

[Djinn]

28. never wear a string bikini to a surf beach

pretty much sums up my experience

[camero]

29. oops

Even though being a guy I wouldn't consider that a malfunction. :)

[Djinn]

31. that seemed to be the view

of the surrounding surfers too - still blushing at the memory!

[arcane1]

30. really?? I thought the rule was "always" wear one

:evilgrin:

this dammned heterosexual agenda is corrupting us all today...

[Dogmudgeon]

32. Almost

I did life modeling for a prominent women-only (originally) art school in Philly. Even in 1986, it was still predominantly a women's college.

I was shown to my changing room, and given instructions to where the class was. So I put a towel around me and walked about 40 feet to the first door on the left, opened the door, walked to the open space to the side of the instructor, and nonchalantly took the towel off in front of 30 first-year art students, 28 of whom were young women.

The professor, nice as could be, said, "Life Modeling is across the hall."

I have no problem with my nudity. My stupidity, on the other hand ...

--bkl

[arwalden]

33. Does Getting Something Caught In A Zipper Count As A "Malfunction"?

Or is that more of a "user error"?

-- Allen

[arwalden]

34. I Have Some "Joe Boxer" Smiley Face Shorts

and the nose is... well... I guess that's not a malfunction either. Never mind.

-- Allen

[Astarho]

35. Does "your fly is down" count?

[arwalden]

36. No... BUT.. "Your Fly Is Down And Your Friend Is Out" does!

[Hubert Flottz]

37. Yes I Did!

I was Dawg drunk one night, up on the stage in front of a club full of people singing karaoke and my pants fell down around my ankles! I went right on singing they told me and never missed a note! My wife finally got up there with me and pulled my drawers back up!

The wonderful thing about the drunken human mind is, it shuts out things that awful, so I didn't remember the next morning! I thought my wife was lying to me, until the folks from the club started calling me later the next day!

[Coventina]

38. At a Violent Femmes concert....

I was squeezing my way through the crowd toward the front.
I was wearing a shirt that buttoned up the front.
At some point, I squeezed forward and left the shirt wedged in the crowd behind me.
I was packed in so tight with my fellow concert-goers that it took me a few minutes to notice. When I did, I reached back and was able to pry my shirt out of the crowd and with extreme difficulty, put it back on.

Good times.....

[Melsky]

39. I was bit

In San Francisco on a wild party night, I was wearing one of those pointy bras from the 50s as a top. It actually fit my breasts very well.

One of the people I was with (a close friend, female) wouldn't believe that my breasts could be that pointy, so she BIT me! She was very appologetic when she realized it really was me.

I'm not sure if that counts as a wardrobe malfuntion, but it really did hurt.

Melsky

[Djinn]

41. ummm

your friend bit you on the boob?!?! - I think that counts as a friend malfunction

[Melsky]

44. She thought I had stuffed cotton in the pointy ends

It was more of a friend malfunction though, you're right.

[MikeG]

40. Does forgetting to zip your zipper count?

Well good, it never happened to me.

[Bertha Venation]

42. I wore my favorite flannel lounge pants to the grocery store -- oops

Little did I know that there was a HUGE hole in the crotch, visible from front and back. And I'd chosen my bright melon-colored chonies that day.

But I never had a body part pop out. Guess I've -- well, other's've -- been lucky.

[Piltdown13]

43. Two I can think of...

One happened in 8th grade, I think. I had phys ed right before the shortest class change period of the day -- I think we had about two minutes to get to the next class. I had worn one of the only skirts I owned, a swirly knee-length thing. Somehow, in my rush to get dressed after P.E. and back to the main building, the back of my skirt got tucked into my underwear. It stayed like that as I hurried from one end of the school to the other and up three flights of stairs to my classroom...where my classmates gave me a nice round of applause (I was always the last to arrive because I was furthest away...sigh).

Second one was during the school-sponsored graduation party for my 10th grade boyfriend (who was a senior). It was at a water park, and they had just put in one of those slides that's basically just a 3-story drop. As the "bravest" in our group, my boyfriend and I decided to go on it, and he absolutely insisted that I go first -- he thought I was going to chicken out if he went first. So I went down the slide, forgetting to grab hold of the straps on my swimsuit. I stood up kind of fast at the bottom, trying to remove the wedgie from the slide, when I heard laughter...the top of my suit was down around my waist, and everyone BUT my boyfriend saw it. :evilgrin: