A poem about suicide

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

This hearkens to another thread started earlier this evening. It's been on my mind for a few hours, and this is my response.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7115022
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As I've admitted here many times before, I'm an alcoholic. The fact that I haven't touched the bottle in twenty five years does not change that. After all this time, the urge to drink is still there. The only difference now is, the will to pick the bottle back up is gone. That's been burned out of my psyche, and I now know I'll never give in to the urge.

Booze is more than an addiction- it's slow suicide. It's a way to off oneself without admitting that's what's going on. It's a means to a very final end. It's slow, it's agonizing, and given enough time it's almost one hundred percent effective.

I knew that. I contemplated that. I understood that. I acknowledged that within my self, and thus was able to ultimately save myself.

Not many hardcore drunks will ever be able to say that.

This is a poem I wrote while in the midst of my long slow demise. Yes, it's about me. Yes, the feelings were real. And yes, there but for the grace of God go I. Literally.

Enjoy, and know it's an honest look into the soul of a would-be suicide.
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I’LL NEVER BE A HERO
(A TRUE STORY)

Well, I'm just a common man
with a common kind of job.
My life ain't nothin' special;
I'm just one within a mob.
I work my eight long hours,
then go home to have a drink.
Then another, and another,
so I will not have to think.
'Cause I'll never be a hero.
No, I'll never be a star.

It's so boring, sitting here
with my memories so old.
All my music is so tired,
and the TV reeks of mold.
I walk out and prowl the streets
just to find some company.
But there's no one out tonight;
just a lonely man. Just me.
And I'll never be a hero.
No, I'll never be a star.

Think I'll ramble on back home,
and I'll finish off the night
by wiping out the bottle
that's my one, my true delight.
See, I'm just a common man
with a common kind of life.
My pain ain't nothin' special
as I use a cold, sharp knife.
And I never was a hero.
No, I never was a star.

© 2007 Steven A. Hessler
All Rights Reserved

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Prisoner_Number_Six...

Wow, this really speaks to me...

I feel your pain, spoken so truly and openly...

But I do beg to differ...

You are special!

You have an extraordinary talent, and it's a very good thing that you're alive to pursue your craft...

Thank you for this, sweetie...

Your life is a gift to all of us, and especially to you...:hug:

[From The Ashes]

2. You're a hero to me...

...good on you, being sober all these years. :thumbsup:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. You have a way with words --

I also wrote one about it. Not to post in open forum.

[Karenina]

4. . .

[Deep13]

5. .

:applause: :thumbsup:

[Karenina]

6. Save myself?

For whose benefit?