The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poetry Break, 11/2/07

[BlueIris]

"Hey, Michael, You Were In My Dream Again"

someone was doing a commercial on the train, and wanted me in it;
she had a handheld camera and lots of little bottles.
I looked down and I was in my bathrobe, but it was o.k. because
I remembered
my whole room was on the train.

and I watched two little chipmunks scampering around
and tried to keep them from setting each other on fire

then I walked west, where the city gets quiet and green
you were in the yard talking patois with you mom and you sounded
so loving together, I eavesdropped.
we were all tourists in this city.
across the street stood an old album-cover peddler,
his vending cart all covered in white lights.
I said, it feels like Carnival, the whole city feels festive tonight.

you told me about an actress who'd died;
the city's tribute was a giant waterslide, and the genuine mourners
gathered at the bottom sobbing, getting splashed.

and did I go to the Botanic Gardens, too?
it was on an island, I remember the boat,
and Nina with her plump brown arms.
you were the only two people I could see clearly,
the only people who played themselves.

—Dorothy Hickson

[BlueIris]

1. Kick.

[RetroLounge]

2. Thanks!

:hi:

RL

[BlueIris]

3. Ah, it is so nice to have regular readers.

[ThomCat]

5. You have some irregular readers too.

:P

[BlueIris]

6. I know. I like the small audience I have.

It would, of course, be nice to have more readers, but what can you do?

[ThomCat]

4. That's nice

but I wonder what the point of that poem was?

What is the point it's trying to make? Or isn't it trying to make a point? It seems like just a pleasant, sureal snapshot.

:shrug:

[BlueIris]

7. I don't think it's so much trying to make a "point" as evoke a certain mood.

I think it's really more of a "mood piece" than anything. And as T.S. Eliot said, true poetry can communicate before it is understood. I think it communicates something about friendship, something about the qualities friends admire in each other, (devotion, originality) but it communicates these things through the personal and encoded language of its speaker's subconscious.

If you're looking for something more concrete in the poem's accomplishments, though, I would tell you to look at its style. I posted this primarily because I think its style captures the ellusive and shifting nature of a dream state with brilliant accuracy. Accurate dream description is an element I'm desperately trying to incorporate into my own writing. Describing the dream state of humans is incredibly difficult. The nature and feel of a dream is often highly symbolic and non-linear, so I've found dreams damn near impossible to re-create convincingly in written art, even in the poetic form, which I once though would lend itself well to that because its structural and grammatical flexibilities are more welcoming, IMO, to abstraction. I think the dream description here is spectacular; this is exactly how I remember my own dreams. I also see a distinct purpose behind the author's decision to write this as a memory of a dream—I think the dream the speaker recalls here probably tells us more about her feelings for "Michael" and how those feelings impact her on the subconscious level than a description of their waking interaction would have.

[Perseid]

9. beautiful response. Very much so. nt

[Perseid]

8. I had an answer

to what I felt was an unasked question
from your eyes
to mine

I had a question
about tomorrow and how we may feel about
each other

I felt the colors of the dreams
that you have embraced
with me
and I see

there are no answers
to questions not asked
from your eyes

I will remember
our eyes

yours and mine

(had to put another top'o'the head poem in. hope that's okay)

[Perseid]

10. I'm sinking, I'm tired, I'm hurt

sometimes, though, I try
hard

where do ideas go when no one seems to see them take flight?

sometimes, I wonder why
and it's hard

I'm thinking, I'm wired, I'm hurt
hard

Yesterday I saw an angel fly away on a jet because her wings were too tired to carry her
anymore
anywhere farther than other's dreams could take her
and it's hard

sometimes, though, I try

why

(this is just a kick)

[Perseid]

11. kick for quality

you do a great job putting out there for us to read fascinating poems, and I, for one, appreciate it.

[Perseid]

12. It was late, and without a moon to guide me

it was difficult to see
not only others, but me
I felt concerned, but not afraid
and wanted no one to come to my aid

it was late
and I had no moon to guide me
I felt concerned, but not afraid
I am me
and see others through my temporal eyes
me

I need the moon to guide me
otherwise, I find it difficult to see

I always feel concerned
but not afraid
and see others

as me

(just trying to help. If you want me to shut up, I am more than willing to do so)

[BlueIris]

13. Geeze, I have a lot of posters here on Ignore.

Just noticed that.

[Perseid]

14. not me?

ME HOPES

[Perseid]

15. waking up, and looking over

my eyes were quiet
Your silence and quiet eyes
saw something else

I found you, and love you

and found that you only
found faith in
quiet

quiet

my heart was quiet
your questioning and quiet eyes

never found me

my heart
is silent


I have quiet eyes