Dreams about ex-gfs/bfs....

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Anyone here have occasional dreams about an ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend? Particularly one that you haven't spoken with in a long time and/or one that you still may have some old feelings for?

I had a dream last weekend about the first girl I ever loved, back when I was 16 in high school. I haven't spoken with her in at least 5-6 years. Of course, because she was the first girl I ever loved, I still have something of a complex, which may be the reason I still have dreams about her, 12 years after I first met her.

But this happens with me, just with this old girlfriend (Not any other former girlfriends). And whenever I have a dream about her, it sort of puts me in a funk for the rest of the day. Mind you, I'm married now--I'd like to say happily--and I'm not the type of guy who will stay "friends" after a break-up. To me, I have to burn my bridges, so I haven't spoken with her. Yet she'll be in my dreams like clockwork, every few months or so.

[LanternWaste]

1. I still dream about a girl I dated in 1986.

I still dream about a girl I dated in college in 1986-- haven't seen her since.

I was such a jerk back then (I was a republican in the Alex P. Keaton mold...)

[Eurobabe]

2. I often dream about a guy I lived with in 1988

I dumped him (J.), we had a complicated relationship, I wanted to get married, but realized that he was way too immature. After we broke up in 1990 I went back to college and finished my degree and went on to get a master's. He was very bitter about the split and never spoke to me again. I once got a holiday card a few years later from his sister, and I told her that I was marrying a great guy from Germany, I never heard from her again either.

On my last visit home in January, I found out that J. is actually still living in my mom's area and is selling real estate, has done quite well with it. Funny, because when I broke things off, he was a struggling newbie at ReMAX. Anyhow, since I saw him on a website, I have had many dreams about him and find myself wondering if he has kids, if he is married, etc.

FWIW, I am happily married too, and my husband is so different than J. ever was, Mr. 48%er was a positive adult influence on my two lovely girls. I wouldn't say the dreams put me in a funk, but they make me feel weird when I am aware that I have dreamt about him. I find myself thinking about the whole relationship for a couple of hours.

Bizarre. :shrug:

[Breeze54]

3. I've occasionally dreamt of my ex-husband but

I call them nightmares!! ;)

[lost-in-nj]

4. I dream about an old boyfriend

not alot, but enough I remember....
No, no old feelings and I don't understand why I would dream about him...
he was a hitter..... but my dreams don't reflect that....
strange

lost

[DS1]

5. can't say i do

:shrug:

[RetroLounge]

6. I've been dreaming about a certain DU'er lately

of course, she's not an ex- but hopefully a future GF...

:D

RL

edit: spelling

[Bennyboy]

7. I dream about my ex-wife all the time....

And it bugs the shit out of me.

[bigwillq]

8. I do

every once and awhile. Kind of fun sometimes! :)

[Tommy_Carcetti]

12. I'll admit....

Last time I had my "ex" dream, half way through the dream I sort of realized it was a dream, but I didn't feel like waking up yet.

Yeah, you can say I still have some unresolved issues.

[SOteric]

9. Sure, I often have dreams about exes.

One because of the traumatic way in which our relationship ended, but others more because of what they represent in my life. Frex, I recently dreamed of a 'first love' but it was less about the boy who was my first love and more about the feelings abundant in the early stages of a love affair. It was a longing for some of the emotional bonding that goes with it. I'm really very happy with the man who's in my life right now, but yeah, some days I wish he gushed over me the way he used to... *sigh*

[MrCoffee]

10. not all the time, but not all that infrequently

[Mz Pip]

11. I do

It's weird. I had a dream about someone I hadn't thought about in years. I have no idea what triggered it. I'm wondering about maybe trying to get in touch just to see how he's doing.

WHen I have dreams about my ex husband they are more like nightmares. We've been divorced for almost 35 years so you can imagine what that relationship was like.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[NewJeffCT]

13. Sometimes

but, not all that often.

My ex-wife had a few things going for her that I've dreamed about... but, then I remember reality and come back to earth.

[redqueen]

14. Now and then...

never that memorable, though. Usually just stupid / weird stuff. Never puts me in a funk, that's for sure.

I'm the type to keep in touch, so maybe the lack of mystery / curiosity makes my subconscious thoughts about them a little more mundane. :)

[Maine-ah]

15. once and a while I do.

and I'd say I'm happily married too. I think it's perfectly normal, but I don't tell my hubbie about them. One of them is a very good friend of ours too. The other, I left to be with my husband. I know he's married, but I was with him for four years, and lived with him for a couple of years.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

18. Oh, I don't tell my wife either

I don't talk about any of my ex's to my wife, let alone that I dream about one of them. And visa versa.

She doesn't really know much about this ex--my wife and I met in college, and this old relationship was high school. Doesn't ask about it either. And she doesn't know that I do have subconscious feelings of regret about this ex and the relationship just not working out.

But my reality of my married relationship is very good. My wife and I are very strong together, expecting our first child in January--everything is hunky-dory. I just have secretly had problems getting past this one relationship years ago, and that's why she (the ex) sneaks into my dreams from time to time.

[Maine-ah]

22. congrats on the baby!

our first is having her first birthday in a couple of weeks! amazing how quick it goes. A lot more fun than anyone let on about kids too. Enjoy it, they're only this small once.

As for the dreams, both of mine are from hs too, but so is my husband. We dated off and on through hs, met when we were 12.

[RebelOne]

16. I dream about someone who I dated for 5 years

about 35 years ago. We haven't spoken since then, but now he has come back into my life.

[unpossibles]

17. sometimes, yes

the only one which bothers me was more a friend with occasional benefits than an actual girlfriend, but I think we both secretly wanted to actually date.

She moved away years ago and we parted on a semi-strange note - mainly because it came up that we both had crushes on each other and as she was preparing to go into the Peace Corps on another continent, it was kinda moot. I miss her - not interested in that way, but as a friend and cool person. I always assumed it's because "she's the one that got away" sort of thing as well.

And yeah, it is weird how it will affect your whole mood for the day sometimes.

[Inchworm]

19. Yes- but..

murder is involved...

:hi:

[kwassa]

20. not in a long time

and it relates to very powerful feelings that the relationship unleashed, and I guess were still unresolved. A relationship that ended badly and couldn't be reconstructed. I was the one that screwed it up.

I was also quite alone and lonely for a long time after the break-up, so that fed the obsession a little bit. This is about 18 years ago, the dreams stopped about five years after the break-up.

I'm in a much better relationship and marriage, and have been for the past 12 years. No more dreams.

[KurtNYC]

21. There is a theory being studied about bonding and typing

the basic idea is that your body chemically rewards you during the first real sexual bonding process of your adult life and that you then form a type -- an attraction to others who look or seem the same as the person you bonded to.

Some other species mate for life and a similar mechanism could be at work in humans.

If humans become conditioned by their experiences, this may be the reason why some people tend to date the same “type” of partner over and over again. Researchers think humans develop a “love map” as they grow up—a blueprint that contains the many things that they have learnt are attractive. This inner scorecard is something that people use to rate the suitability of mates. Yet the idea that humans are actually born with a particular type of “soul mate” wired into their desires is wrong. Research on the choices of partner made by identical twins suggests that the development of love maps takes time, and has a strong random component.

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html

[Tommy_Carcetti]

23. I can understand....

Because I noticed myself attracted to certain traits from this girl after I had met her that I hadn't been attracted to before.