Earl Warren to Be Announced as Head of Intelligence Panel

[A-Schwarzenegger]

Breaking:

President Bush will appear at the Super Bowl at
halftime and announce that Former Supreme Court
Justice Earl Warren will head up a blue-ribbon panel
to investigate alleged snags and piffles in the intelligence
gathering and analysis which led up to the Iraq War.
Although Warren has been dead for ten years, he will
appear beside the President in a BarcoLounger and is
expected to say, "It's true I haven't been feeling
well, but duty transcends death. America needs me,
and therefore I need America. As I saved the nation
from chaos and veracity in the Kennedy assassination,
so will I save the nation again in this case, where
certain misunderstandings have besmirched our good
President Bush here with calumny and besmirchment.
Therefore, rest assured, football fans. We will issue
a report in December on very white paper with nice fonts
and good punctuation. Therefore, play ball!" The other
members of the panel are expected to be announced
soon. High sources have suggested that former
Warren Commission commissioner Gerald Ford will be
included, along with that Chalabi guy from Iraq,
deceased former CIA chief Allen Dulles, partially
deceased Henry Kissinger, and other living and dead
dignitaries and socialites.

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. They are going to resurrect Earl Warren from the dead?

After 30 years, he will present quite a specter to the other commision members. Will gas masks be issued?

On edit: Forgot to mention that Warren died in 1974.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

2. Nah, I bet he looks better now.... How about J.E. Hoover too?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

4. Yes, Senator Specter will be there, too.

With his "Magic WMD" theory.

[asjr]

3. LOL

[harper]

5. Maybe Lord Hutton could give the late Earl Warren pointers

I mean, being dead for all this time he might have forgotten the fine points of a whitewash.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

7. Yes, indeed. You know,

one saying that gets bandied about that
needs to be looked at more carefully is
"Don't kill the messenger." Why not?
Why not kill the messenger? Isn't the
messenger the one that causes all the
problems by pointing them out? If it
wasn't for the messenger, nature would
take its course and rumors of intelligence
problems would rot and ooze into the ground
along with leaves and newspapers and bodies.
I say, Hell yes, kill the messenger before he
messenges again!

[never cry wolf]

8. Do you work for the onion by chance???...ROTFLMAO

[ElsewheresDaughter]

6. ROFLMAOOOOOOO....thanks i needed that

[frank frankly]

9. thank you

except they use "snow ivory" paper stock now. don't you know?