anybody dealing with a mentally ill kid?

[mopinko]

know any good websites or chats for this? i have a teeneager in the early stages of treatment for bi-polar. this is the hardest thing i have ever been through.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. There are support groups out there...

For families who are facing such a thing. The NAMI website(http://www.nami.org) is a clearinghouse for such supports. Go there, find your local NAMI chapter and contact them. They are there for you and will help you in ways that you haven't even started to consider or dared to dream.

God Bless. Remember: There is no weakness in asking others to lend you a little of their strength. We can't do everything ourselves.

[mopinko]

5. thanks for the link

this looks like a good site for me. i am looking at their discussion board, and it looks like it will help. there are even some teens there, ranting away. that is really good for me to see. it's not just mine.

[Raven]

2. You should ask the doc who is treating your child.

He/she can probably refer you to some good support groups. Don't despair, there are some very good medications out there today and alot more is known about this condition than in the past.

[SoCalDem]

3. Also, see if the doc has group therapy sessions for parents

It can be helpful for parents of kids who are being treated by the same doctor, to also have some help..

Misery does love company, and no matter how great your regular friends are, they will NEVER know the agony you are going though.. It's nice to have the shorthand down with people who know what it's like..

:hug: and here's hoping that the meds work wonders for your son, and thet YOU take care of tourself.. It's a long long road, and it's full of speed bumps.. (been there too)

[mopinko]

6. so far i don't like them

her psychiatrist, i do not like at all, and neither does hubby. i get a distinct sense that he thinks our parenting has created or at least contributed to her problems, which of course is what she tells him. but he really ought to have some sense of how much to believe from the mouth of a crazy child.
she has a psychologist that she has been seeing for a little over a year, and he is ok.

the big thing is that i have health problems myself, and 2 other kids with chronic diseases. i feel like i spend all my time in doctor's offices. i guess one thing you have to decide is how much you let it take over your life. i have been trying to get more of my life back after 15 years as a mom, but every time i get my foot in the door of something, the wheels fall off at home. the idea of even one more regularly scheduled appointment on my calendar makes me want to SCREAM.

[SoCalDem]

8. R U N ....don't walk.. to a different therapist

You MUST form an alliance with this person, and you must like and trust them implicitely.. They are "messing" with your kid's head here.. WQhat your child goes through with this person will be "with them" forever..

If you are HMO, call the benefits mgr and tell them that the one you are seeing is NOT acceptable.. Do not let them just give you a different one at the same clinic (these guys have coffee together, ya know)..

You MUST find a therapist that feels comfortable.,

edit.. I mistook "teenager" as son..not daughter.. oops.. I have 3 boys, so it's an honest mistake :)

[mopinko]

10. it's not an hmo thing

she likes him, and he works with her psychologist. fortunately, we are some of the last people on the planet who get NO grief from our insurance.
but the whole issue of "her" doc is a pain. in a perfect world, i would follow your advice. but compared to some of the other people who have been invloved with this kid so far, this guy is GOOD. ugh. hopefully when the meds get steady, she will not be talking to this guy so much, just getting adjusted, and checking in.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

12. For a second, I thought you were my mom...

Background: About 5 years ago, I finally crashed completely and was made aware of the fact that life (for most people) isn't a constant state of blah. (dysthymic disorder). I was going through yet another episode of major depression on top of the dysthymia, and was in bad shape. A psychiatrist at college put me on meds, but then I returned home and needed some follow-up. . .

So, I went to a highly recommended psychopharmacologist. I got to like him, largely because he treated me as an intelligent person. IMHO- many p-docs are condescending, and/or disengaged. He was extremely expensive, but totally worth it, at least I thought. My parents would have spent the world to make me feel better, and I knew that, and I know that now.
My parents started to hate the psychopharmacologist, feeling that he was both over-billing them and putting me through hell as various med combos were tried. I tried to explain that this wasn't an exact science, and they bought it... Until I landed in the hospital with an extremely rare adverse effect from Wellbutrin. That night, the doctor acted extremely unprofessionally, not returning repeated calls from the ER, or so my parents tell me. I know that he rarely carried his beeper, and wasn't great about returning calls. I was poked and prodded, and drugged up so that I wouldn't "try to leave the ER against medical advice." I knew my rights. When I tried to leave, they told my mother that they would arrest her if she tried to help me flee. My father later told me that I was never again to see the original doctor, and they wouldn't pay for appointments with the guy due to what he 'did to me.'

The outcome: My parents realized that he knew what he was doing, and he had gotten some good results for me... but he was not a nice man. I never really respected him again as a person, but he managed to get me on the right combination of medicines to allow me to enjoy life. My long-winded conclusion to this post: If you trust the skills of the doctor, the personality isn't really as important, especially if you're also including a psychologist in the team... The MD-type is there to write the prescriptions that allow the professional person with apt interpersonal skills to interact with the patient.

Sorry about the ramble...Just wanted to let you know that you are DEFINITELY not alone!

[mopinko]

13. thanks for taking the time

yeah, this guy does care. she was in the hospital, and he called several times to see what was up. the hospital guy might as well have been a car mechanic. he gives 15 min appointments. you are lucky if he remembers your name. very yuck. so....
it is pretty hard to get help for a crazy kid, tho. all along the line, we ran into people who just thought the problem was bad parenting. the hospital social worker that told us- "hey, it's in the genes, you are doing everything possible." will always be a saint to us.

[Lindsay]

4. Just sending you some support vibes.

:pals:

I am trying to learn to live with depression (a life-long learning experience...gah!) and my best friend is bi-polar. This stuff's not easy, and I can only imagine what it's like for a parent.

[mopinko]

7. how old are you?

were you sick as a kid?
it is just so hard to parent. the times you need to put limits on the most are when they are accepted the least. she feel like all the thing that we do to help her get better or stay safe are punishments. ugh.

and i also think of how long the road is, and what is going to happen to her once she is 18, or 22, or whatever, and not on our insurance anymore.

[SoCalDem]

9. You may be able to continue the insurance if she's "disabled"

ask the insurance company.. There are some loopholes in most of them..

[mopinko]

11. good tip, thanks np