Bush: "Saddam sent his WMDs to Loch Ness" (humor??)

[stopbush]

(UIP) President bush - rocked by David Kay's assertions that Saddam Hussein probably had no WMDs left in Iraq - today opened a bold offensive of his own, claiming to have proof that Hussein sent his WMD to the famous Loch Ness in Scotland.

"We have it on unimpeachable sources that Saddam shipped his WMDs to Scotland," said the American martinet. "In this, he was assisted by the French. Our intelligence tells us that Saddam's plan was for the Loch Ness Monster - who I've nicknamed "Nessie" - to swallow the WMDs. We all know that people have been searching for old Nessie for centuries, and we intend to join that search, find Nessie, and once and for all, put to bed this idea that Saddam didn't have any WMDs. We realize that this may take years, even decades, but we're committed to finding them, whatever the cost. To that end, I've sent a request to Congress for a small increase in the defense budget of two trillion dollars over the next five years. We will pay for this by selling the state of New York to the Russian mafia and by selling California to Bill Gates, offset, of course, with tax cuts for the richest one-half-of-one-percent of Republicans in the country."

Reporters immediately asked if bush's astounding revelation meant that he now accepted the existence of dinosaurs - specifically plesiosaurs - which seemed to be in direct conflict with bush's Bible-based approach to science. "You think I didn't think of that?" replied the smarmy world leader. "I've got that covered by the Supreme Court." Bush then produced a finding from Justice Antonio Scalia that read: "Based on our decision in the presidential election of 2000 (Bush v Gore), we find that the bush administration's assertions that a plesiosaur exists in Loch Ness in no way shape or form sets a precedent that other dinosaurs now or ever did exist on this planet."

The announcement by the Court was immediately followed by an upsurge in the sale of one-way tickets to France and a precipitous jump in the stock value of the Jack Daniels Company.

[dweller]

1. I bet the fekkin idjit

will start searching in Glen Lachart, home of the famous bogwoman and spud o'christ.

man i miss that website.

dp