always worth a laugh - the number of the beast

[shugah]

The NUMBERS of the Beast:

666 - Number of the Beast
668 - Neighbor of the Beast
660 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
1/666 - Common Denominator of the Beast
666<-/(-1)> - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast
29A - Hexidecimal of the Beast
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666: Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only
$6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.

$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 - Wal*Mart price of the Beast
$646.66 - Next week's Wal*Mart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66% - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
666-66-6666 - Social Security Number of the Beast
666 666 - Clone of the Beast
999 - The Beast's Higher Self

[calimary]

1. Love this one - lost it, too. So thanks for providing me with a new copy!

[shugah]

3. always happy to spread the beast word

;-)

[Ramsey]

2. My 666 story

I was visiting my sister in Kentucky (no, don't start thinking inbred rednecks, she lives in Louisville).

I go to the local drug store for a few items and the saleslady rings me up. She tells me my total and I hand her $10 bill.

She looks at me oddly and says, "Don't you want to buy something else?" And I am thinking, jeez, is she trying to sell me some piece of crap? So I say no, I don't want anything else.

She looks at me very intently, and repeats: "Don't you want to buy something else?". Again, I say no, somewhat perplexed.

She says, "Look at your total." I look at the register. It says: $6.66. I look at her and say "So?". I still don't get it.

So them the saleslady says: "Your total is 666!" And one last time I say: "So?". She gives me this crazed look and says: "That's the sign of the devil!". At which point I flash her a huge grin, attempt to suppress my laughter and ask her for my goddamn change!

People, this is in a city of 1 million+ people. Truly scary.

[shugah]

4. a-ha!

$.34 - the change of the beast! ;-)

[Exultant Democracy]

10. booga booga booga $.34.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Here in Manhattan, in morningside heights, one telephone exchange is 666

I had a 666 number when I lived there, as did a couple of my seminary professors (there are also a couple other exchanges in that nieghborhood). But there are some people in the area, of the fundy christian bent, who won't accept the 666 exchage, and accomadation has to be made for them.

I wanmt to say to them, "Dude - don't be so literal, and don't let a telephone number take control of your life."

And more tha likely, 666 is not an accurate translation anyway. And even if it is, it is the number that the beast will have; the Bible doesn't say that everything that has 666 in it IS the beast.

Sheesh.

[Zomby Woof]

6. I am 666

My first, middle, and last names have 6 letters apiece - that's 3 6's.
I was born on the 6th day of the 6 Day War between Egypt and Israel, on the 6th day of the week - also 3 6's.

I was born in the 6th month of the year, during the 6th decade of the century, during the 6th hour of the day - another 3 6's.

I have a large mole on the back of my right hand, the exact same color and size as one just below my hairline on my forehead - both the locations of the potential 'mark of the beast'.

My true feelings about judeochristian monotheism would get me banned from DU so I will stop there. :evilgrin:

Edit: I just noticed this is the 6th post of the thread! :bounce:

[AntiCoup2K4]

7. Well, since you seem to have all the qualifications for the job....

...Don't you think it's time you joined the Republican party so you will be surrounded by the right people to be the Antichrist? :evilgrin:

[corporatewhore]

9. Master!!!!

[VOX]

13. Get thee behind me, ZombyWoof!

And don't push!

:toast:

[scarlet_owl]

8. That's cute.

I have never seen that before, and that's strange, because my m-i-l usually forwards me all kinds of stuff.

[lazarus]

11. When Reagan retired

And moved into a house in California, the street address was 666. So they had it changed.

[name not needed]

12. You forgot one

664- The bloke next door