Subtle reminder: October is adopt a vegan month.

[Midlodemocrat]

There are several here on our own Democratic Underground who are available for adopting. Depending on the temperament you are looking for, there are strong, muscular ones; petite, polite ones; and some from across the pond that we will be able to bring here to a loving home.

Feel free to PM me with any questions about your vegan. We here at Vegans R Us are dedicated to making your match with your vegan one full of happiness.


:hide:

[Kutjara]

1. I hear vegans are especially flatulant. I give a lot of dinner parties...

...and don't want a pet that runs around farting all over the place. One can only blame it on the maid so many times.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. See. That's a myth. There are no bad vegans, only bad vegan owners.

And, now I shall go away lest flvegan fly through my monitor and smother me.

[Kutjara]

3. Next you'll be saying "a vegan's not just for Christmas."

:hi:

[mikeytherat]

5. Is there some sort of "Vegan Whisperer"?

That would be really helpful.

mikey_the_rat

[Midlodemocrat]

10. Yes. Except Ghandi is dead. We're still looking for a replacement.

[Hugin]

4. Dear Midlo,

Would it be a good idea to clear some of the elk meat out of the freezer in the
garage to stock up some eats for my adopted vegan?

Thanks in advance.

P. in WallhallaWallhalla

P.S. Would they mind shacking out in the trophy room?

[Midlodemocrat]

8. Dear Prag:

Vegans are traumatized by trophy rooms. In sort of the same way that we never, ever let a rescued greyhound off the leash, we never, ever let a vegan see a trophy room. Some never recover.

As far as feeding your vegan, you should start with raw vegetables and adjust their diet accordingly. They will be a lifelong friend to you if you just listen to them.

[Hugin]

15. ...

Psst, how'd you know it was me?

[Midlodemocrat]

21. Psychic abilities. Shhh. Don't tell anyone. I want it to be a surprise.

[Hugin]

32. Dear Midlo,

Are there any Vegan Tubetowns and are they equipped with a wheel the little darling can
run on for exercise?

Your friend,

P. in Lower TamTamTaroo.

P.S. If so, You wouldn't happen to know how to keep those darned wheels from squeaking at night?

[Midlodemocrat]

36. Dear P. in Lower TamTamTaroo,

What a great question!! Yes, there are vegan tubetowns, except we call them water parks.

TO the best of my knowledge, the newer ones don't squeak at all! Best of luck with your vegan.

[JVS]

6. I had mine put down

[Midlodemocrat]

11. Dear JVS. How I wish you had contacted our organization

prior to having to make that decision. We here at Vegans R Us do not believe in putting any vegans to sleep, but instead choose to believe that they are all adaptable and adoptable.

[Ellen Forradalom]

80. I put my vegans to sleep with copious amounts of weed

That insures a peaceful night.

[spinbaby]

7. Should I feed them tofu?

Or stick to the dry food?

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Tofu is a natural choice for the vegan.

Most love it. So, yes! Go ahead and try it!

[KitchenWitch]

9. I have my eyes one of those from across the pond!

:7

Those British Vegans are so hawt!

[Midlodemocrat]

13. We have one in particular that you might be interested in.

He's beyond adorable and the most sweet natured, kind vegan you would ever want to meet.

I'll send you the information.

[KitchenWitch]

19. He sounds ideal!

:7

[yewberry]

14. Yaaaay!

I want my own room! I want my own room!

Also, start saving now. Grad school is expensive.

[Midlodemocrat]

18. Is there a particular part of the country you would like to live in?

We have homes available nationwide. :bounce:

[yewberry]

38. Anywhere that a "big night out" doesn't mean a trip to Ponderosa

or the Cheesecake Factory.

I do windows, too.

[Midlodemocrat]

40. How do you feel about Shoney's? Or Cracker Barrel?

[yewberry]

43. Are those restaurants?

Do they have good felafel?

[Midlodemocrat]

44. *gasp* You've never heard of Cracker Barrel?

No soup for you.

[yewberry]

46. I thought that was cheese.

:blush:


No soup for me...


edit:
"There are no Cracker Barrel Old Country Stores in the state of Washington at this time, but we are growing fast! Cracker Barrel always chooses new locations that are easy to get to from the interstate highway system, and since there are interstates in Washington , it's possible that a Cracker Barrel will open up here. For more information on this state, please visit Drop Us A Line and write us."
Yay, google.

[Ellen Forradalom]

81. I'll take tofunut

I have a fridge stocked with tempeh, baked tofu, TVP and nuts. Anything else I need before I take tofunut home?

[yewberry]

95. Cool.

Get out the food, gadgetry and the Glenmorangie, and let's mess up the kitchen but good!

[Ellen Forradalom]

97. Be aware

that when I go over to my husband and son's home on Fridays, I prepare an omni meal for them. So don't smell my breath when I come home.

[yewberry]

98. Uh, right.

"Do not smell Ellen's breath on Fridays."

How will I ever remember...? Maybe a calendar of some sort...

[Ellen Forradalom]

99. Think of it as a kind of Shabbat

No driving, no work, no smelling of breath.

[SeattleGirl]

16. I'd like to adopt LeftyMom.

She can bring LeftyKid and flvegan with her.

:7

[Midlodemocrat]

17. So, I should put you down for three vegans?

Check. Thanks!!!! :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

34. Yes, please.

And I promise that no animal products will be fed to them.

[LeftyMom]

49. That's 15 dogs, 7 cats, a bunny, two aging station wagons, three wisdom teeth in need of removal

two hineys to keep in SquarePants, one gym membership, eight million allergies, one tuition bill, two cranky laptops and one hell of a grocery bill.

You're a saint.

A saint in need of a second job, but a saint none the less. O8)

[SeattleGirl]

59. I'll be a good adoptive mom, I promise.

You might even persuade ME to become a vegan.

:)

[TommyO]

53. Drat, I had my eye on flvegan - I could learn a lot from him.

Even though he plays for the other team.

[mainegreen]

20. Are they fixed?

I want mine fixed. And with all their shots too!

[Midlodemocrat]

24. No. We want to increase the vegan population for the good of the earth,

so if you choose to take one, you must agree not to have them fixed. They do have all their shots and are housebroken, though.

[mainegreen]

28. Allright, but how do I know it's a purebreed vegan?

I don't want to get up one night to find catch my 'vegan' secretly grilling steak in the basement.

[Midlodemocrat]

30. We have all the papers necessary to ensure that you get a purebred vegan.

In fact, ours are so purebred, they can't even look at a picture of meat, let alone contemplate eating any.

[MrCoffee]

22. what if your vegan won't stop humping your leg?

:hide:

[Midlodemocrat]

25. That's a sign that they are not getting enough protein

Try increasing the amount of tofu. That should do it.

[LostinVA]

69. Flvegan tried to do that to Haruka over the phone

It was kind of her fault though, so don't use that as the basis on whether or not you want to adopt a vegan.

[flvegan]

75. I hold the phone with my LEFT hand.

Leaving my right free.

:rofl:

[MrCoffee]

90. dude...

call me!


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[flvegan]

23. I hear some folks adopt a vegan just to fight them against other vegans.

How will you ensure that the adopting parties are on the up and up?

Vegan fighting is a gruesome underground "sport" with no winners, only victims.

[Midlodemocrat]

27. All our potential homes are thoroughly vetted.

We actually spy on the homeowners through their interwebs and if we suspect something is amiss, we return to the home and remove the vegan.

Some people say that this is an intrustion and a privacy violation, but I to that I say. "FUCK OFF"

[BarenakedLady]

26. As a vegetarian, I find this offensive.

Why won't anyone adopt me?

I'm already pickled!

:cry:

[Midlodemocrat]

29. A pickled veterinarian? I think this is the wrong thread.

:bounce:

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

35. wegetabletarian

It's a sex thing.

[KitchenWitch]

31. I thought July was Adopt a Vegetarian month.

:shrug:

[BarenakedLady]

33. Damn it!

I'm always late...

:-(

[Hugin]

42. I thought you were a Free Range Vegan, anyhow.

Youknow, foraging and stuff. :silly:

[BarenakedLady]

48. Yup

I am an opportunist.

:P

[sasquatch]

37. I hear they're as bad as Cracker Barell's chicken potpie,

they buy teenagers winecoolers, and steal all the boxwine in the area.
:D

[Midlodemocrat]

39. As I said upthread. There are no bad vegans, only bad vegan owners.

[sasquatch]

41. Well you trained yours very poorly then

[rug]

45. Aren't they a pain in the ass to feed?

[Midlodemocrat]

47. Not at all. They're very sweet, very loving and very easy to feed.

[ThomCat]

91. The food goes in the other end.

:P

[DS1]

92. That's why they prefer sherry, it numbs up the ass

We're talking about Vogons right?

[Blue-Jay]

50. Can I order a subtle vegan?

No? How about a unicorn then?

[Midlodemocrat]

51. I'm sorry sir, but our vegans are pretty well informed and

therefore pretty opinionated. We even have one who doesn't mind saying 'Fuck You' to people he disagrees with. But, we love that particular vegan because he says what we are thinking.

[flvegan]

56. !

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

70. OMFG

I love you.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

87. thomcat can be non abrasive. however i adopted him already

[lizziegrace]

88. WooHoo! I've been adopted!

:woohoo:

:hug:

(Oops, Thomcat logged in as LizzieGrace, because she's here visiting me.)

[lizziegrace]

89. Heh...

Thomcat's still a vegan and I'm a dedicated omnivore. But we ate at a terrific vegan restaurant last night. :)

[TommyO]

52. Can an omnivore adopt a vegan?

Said omnivore has plenty of Morningstar Grillers Prime veggie burgers in his freezer.

[BrklynLib at work]

54. My Boss is a VERY outspoken Vegan. We cannot even buy snacks for the office that have dairy in them

He is also an animal rights activist to the nth degree....Goes all over the place to rescue and place animals. Has three rescued dogs of his own as we speak. Oneof themhe brought all the way back from The Bahamas where he went on vacation...and saw this wonderful little furgirl on death row and decided she deserved to live.
She is now known as Bahama Mama and lives a wonderful, happy life with her doggie brother and sister.

[Snarkturian Clone]

55. The grey skin creeps me out NT

[ThomCat]

83. Funny, I've never met a vegan with grey skin.

I've been a vegan for 19 years, and I sometimes get compliments on my skin.

[GOPisEvil]

57. Can I adopt a mostly vegetarian who occasionally eats seafood instead?

I have one in mind. She's already been to the house, so she's used to the place.

[Midlodemocrat]

73. Of course. If she's already been to your house, then she's used to you

and it will make the transition that much easier.

[asthmaticeog]

58. Polite ones?

I don't believe you.

[yewberry]

61. I'm far too polite to respond in kind.

Yep, I'm a polite-machine, I am.

And humble.



:7

[Mike03]

60. Struggling to become a Vegan

This has been an ethical and health goal of mine for some time, and I have made it as long as two months. Right now I am starting again--this time I am hopefull I will succeed because I did more research on substitutions, and the more there is to choose from, the easier it is to let go of meat.

What I mostly am on now is a raw vegetable and fruit diet, with the addition of whole grain cereal and Almond milk. I add nuts and nut butters to try to keep my weight up. As an avid exerciser, I'm not absolutely sure I'm getting enough calories and proteins, as I seem to be quite tired a lot of the time. But I'm hoping to adjust over time.

P.S.

I would be curious to know what the difference is between "macrobiotic" diet and raw foods. Are they approximately the same? I don't like to eat cooked food because the heating destroys enzymes and vitamins.

[trof]

62. I wonder if there are any 'closet vegans' here.

I would be willing to help one 'come out'.
;-)

[Mike03]

63. Forgive me

This was the first thread I saw when I came into the lounge, and I did not realize it was a joke thread.

Now I feel really stupid.

But I think the idea of pairing aspiring Vegans with actual Vegans is a great idea.

If nobody in your circle of friends is a Vegan, then it's hard to get support, and more common to get ridicule, so this idea actually makes great sense to me.

*embarrassed, slinks away*

[yewberry]

64. I liked your post.

Come and join us in the http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=231">veg/AR forum.

You will probably get answers to any questions you might have, and you'll certainly find recipes.

:hi:

[Mike03]

Cool,

Thank you for the link! That sounds like it could really help a lot!

Mike

[flvegan]

65. I liked your post, too.

Ditto what tofunut said above.

[Midlodemocrat]

I didn't see what you posted, but no worries.

some of my favorite DUers are vegans and participating in this thread, so it's all good.

[Ellen Forradalom]

94. I'm an aspiring vegan, too

And may yet stay that way...it remains to be seen.

However far I manage to go, my diet and outlook have already changed greatly because of what I've learned from our vegan pets^M^M friends.

[matcom]

66. I LOVE Vegan!

medium rare with a nice, brandy glaze

[Midlodemocrat]

79. I'm sorry sir. You have been blocked in our database from adopting a vegan.

Something about a 'Barefoot Mrs. Matcom', whatever that means.

[Parche]

67. If You Carrot All

:popcorn: :popcorn: :hi:

[DarkTirade]

68. Are these vegans housebroken?

I don't want them messing up the carpets. Then again, I don't want to have to take them outside on a regular basis either... maybe I should get a litter box.

[Midlodemocrat]

72. Yes, all our vegans are housebroken.

[petronius]

71. Do they require a special diet of any sort?

:shrug:

[LynneSin]

74. You're a vegan?

no way - I had no clue

[Midlodemocrat]

78. No.

It's a copycat of flvegan's adopt a dog thread.

[LynneSin]

84. so you're a jerk then

:hide:

You know I adore you and if you'd visit me you can sleep on the top of the line mattress in my room. Probably the most use out of the guest bedroom will be cats sleeping on the bed.

I'm probably either going with Ikea or a trundle bed. I just don't think trundle beds are that comfortable and the mattress from Boscovs was actually quite comfy for it's price.

But since you'll never visit me who cares. Hell I'd pay your tolls provided you provide a receipt for me

[Midlodemocrat]

85. What if I told you I am posting from your neighbor's porch?

God it stinks out here.


:hide:

Just to prove you wrong, I WILL come visit you. :bounce:

[LynneSin]

86. You're next door - come on over, just finished making breakfast

2 organic eggs over easy
2 slices of oatnut bread with olive oil spread
Potatoes sliced and sauteed in olive oil with salt, pepper, oregano and a bit of Asaigo Cheese
Fresh juiced apple-grape juice
Plum Harvest Black Tea

Got plenty to feed the whole midlo gang

In fact I'm eating this as I post this message

[Ellen Forradalom]

76. Will my vegan destroy my furniture?

Do I need to crate my vegan while I'm away at work?

[cobalt1999]

77. Only if it's leather.

:)

[rucky]

82. Can I adopt the 40-Year-Old Vegan?

[Ellen Forradalom]

93. Can I feed my vegan fake foie gras made from force-fed cashews?

[undeterred]

96. I'm adopting Dennis Kucinich. Does that count?

:bounce: