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I've posted a few threads about my ongoing romantic/sexual frustration here before. I don't want to turn this into a sex thread, but I do want to ask people some honest advice.
The background is this: I'm a 22-year-old senior (male) in college; will graduate next spring, not yet sure what I'm going to be doing (just FYI - although I'm looking into study abroad opportunities as well as jobs in public health or research - I may do a masters in public health or health administration and perhaps law school or med school - not completely sure yet). In terms of relationships, I am not in one and never have been; though I've been on dates, I've never been seriously involved with a girl and I'm still a virgin. OTOH, I'm also fairly social, have a wide group of friends - most of whom aren't quite as much of a wallflower when it comes to dating and relationships as I am - and would say that I'm decently good-looking.
I'm also fairly insecure though. On one hand while I have lots of friends, there are only a handful of people I'm extremely close with; I tend to hold a lot of things fairly close to my chest. Part of the problem with me vis-a-vis girls is that, as cheesy as it sounds, I haven't really connected with anyone I've dated or flirted with in any way that made me feel this could be a relationship. There have been a few I felt that way about, but they weren't interested or weren't available.
What worries me, however, is that my dating prospects are currently nill and while I realize that things could change, in all likelihood I will not end up in a relationship with someone during the course of this year and will probably have to enter "the real world" still being utterly inexperienced in the ways of sex and relationships.
I know I shouldn't let this be the case, but I can't help but feel insecure about this. I know that it's likely that most women I date will be far more experienced sexually than I am; that itself doesn't bother me. What I worry about is more personal - I worry that people are NOT going to want to date me or get involved with me because (a) they'll assume that as a 22 or 23 or 24-year old virgin that I'm too much of a dork and (b) that they won't think any physical acts that take place will be any good.
I know I shouldn't worry, but it's difficult. I don't know how many of you have been in a similar situation; for most people, it was probably high school or early in college that they felt this way. Ironically for me, I didn't really feel that insecure about this stuff in high school or in the first half of college because while I would very much have liked to have had sex AND been in a relationship/dating someone, I also knew that quite a few people around me - including large numbers of my close friends - had not. So I didn't really feel quite as left out or abnormal. By the time you reach 22, it's unavoidable; virtually all of my peers have had sex or dated someone at least for some length of time and while plenty of them aren't having particularly randy sex lives, I still can't shake the impression that they have more "life" experience than I do. It's irrational, it's not reflective of who I am and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.
Do you think my concerns are valid? Any advice on how to navigate the situation? I'd love encouragement, but I'd also like honesty. (For the record, I don't intend to lie to a potential partner; if they ask (or even if they don't) I'll probably let them know if it comes to that point that I haven't been with anyone before - I figure lying about it would probably make the situation far more awkward than it would otherwise be.)
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