The BlueIris Semi-Nightly Poem Thread, 9/21/07 Bonus

[BlueIris]

"Putting on the Ritz"

Swanky grew from the Twenties.
Champagne and laughing,
Bubbly beads and flying fringe,
Hips swinging side to side.
Sassy flip of the wrist,
Tap the cigarette.
Swanky is lights glowing hard.
Jazz hangs in the air.
A tall dark girl in a
Shimmering dress hums onstage.
Stiletto heels clack
Across a waxy dance floor.
Swanky is life lived to the hilt.

—Alicia Prychun

[BlueIris]

1. Kick.

[WildEyedLiberal]

2. That's really cool - really evokes flappers and the Roaring Twenties

I like.

[BlueIris]

3. And this is another one of my "was written by a 17 year old" posts.

I think it's interesting that the poems written by untrained youngsters are as popular here as the poems written by adult masters.

[BlueIris]

4. Kick.

[ThomCat]

5. I'm going to be an ass and say that I really don't like this one.

It just seems shallow to me. :shrug:

I don't begrudge anyone who likes it, and I hope the author got something out of writing it, but I don't get anything good from this one.

[BlueIris]

7. Well, that's a valid opinion. The author isn't exactly aiming for T.S. Eliot's level or anything.

But it's pretty good for a 17 year old's writing, I think.

[wildhorses]

6. i like the way

'jazz hangs in the air'

[BlueIris]

8. I've always liked the sentence fragments in this one: "Tap the cigarette."

That's great.