I'm so sick of being hit on by guys old enough to be my father.

[Ava]

it's revolting! i was at a restaurant tonight and the waiter was very nice - extremely nice. well i didn't really take any notice of it until i realized he kept looking down my shirt when he came over to take orders, take our plates, etc. he also kept leaning in really close towards me(it wasn't loud so there really wasn't an excuse). when i started to leave he came over, leaned in(while i was still sitting) and said. "my name (forgot his name.. i think jess) and i'd looove to serve you again. next time you come in be sure to ask for me."

i high tailed out of there. ewwww!

[JVS]

1. Just wait 50 years. Then the waiters won't hit on you

[Ava]

3. lol

:rofl:

well at least if they do chances are they will be the same age :rofl:

[Book Lover]

43. You think it takes that long? (nm)

[JVS]

56. I didn't want to have the "I'm 30-odd and I'm still hot" crowd get on my case.

[pitohui]

50. they will if they think you have money EOM

,

[lost-in-nj]

2. Oh hon

I am sorry you have to even WORRY about this......
:hug:

you are beautiful, smart and commanding.....

Do not let this make you go into a shell.....
I have no witty comebacks that you can say....

just.... sorry people have to be so shallow.....

lost

[Ava]

4. thanks

it sucks!

[mtowngman]

5. oh lord

the firestorm I could start with this one
-but i won't:dilemma:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

6. try to look at it this way

it is a compliment - just be nice and smile. Men are just boys all grown up (mostly) ----

It's a hell of a lot better than having someone be nasty to you, eh?

[Ava]

9. looking down my shirt isn't being nasty?

:shrug:

[QueenOfCalifornia]

59. No......

Not really... I mean he didn't grab you did he? Now that would be nasty --- He got a little look --- if every guy that tried that was condemned they would all be in jail.

[skygazer]

71. See, I've never seen it that way

Looking down someone's shirt is not a compliment. Behaving unprofessionally is not a compliment. Hitting on underage girls is not a compliment.

I once got hit on when I was taking out the garbage at work. I was by the compactor and a filthy homeless guy tried to ask me out. When I said no, he asked if he could have the garbage. :eyes:

Now, a couple of people tried to tell me that this was a compliment. To me, having someone think I'd go out with them when they're filthy, homeless and digging through my garbage is an insult. Maybe that's just me.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

81. She's underage?

How old is she?

Also -- I am talking about some guy peeking down a open blouse -- it happens -- Not some guy being a total ass and making a jerk out of himself.

As for the filthy homeless guy -- Probably schizophrenic and his reality is not mine or yours ---

I had no idea the author of the post is underage. Do her parents know that she is on the internets? I concluded from her post that she is over 21 (or at least 18)

I will make a note of this and answer her accordingly.

[Deja Q]

7. Some men just look; some do try to fight the urge...

Though leaning in on you is kinda creepy, I'll wholly agree...! :wow:

[Ava]

10. indeed

i'm not sure which is worse. this guy or the creep in grocery store that i almost hit with my cart and he said "you can run over me anytime"... i think this guy.

[graywarrior]

8. Hahahaha that is almost funnyt, Ava.

I have a sister-in-law who is a developer/contractor. She had a big project in Boston a few years ago where she had to meet with some bigshot guys to sign a deal. They were all in a conference room and she was at the head of the table with her contracts. She looks up to talk, and all the guys were staring at her boobs. So she says, "Hey, they're not the ones signing the contract--I am, get it?" There were lots of embarrassing coughs and ahems, but from that point on, they were terrified to ever look at her boobs again.

[Ava]

11. bwa ha ha ha ha ha

that is a good one! sounds like your sister in law is one witty lady!

[graywarrior]

12. She's f'n crazy.

But she thinks on her feet. Any woman who can run a company of male contractors has to be pretty strong.

[Ava]

13. takes one to know one

:P ;)

[graywarrior]

18. Smackdown!

:freak:

[Ava]

21. don't tell me you're a wrestling fan!

:P

[graywarrior]

26. Only in bars

:rofl:

[Ava]

27. bwa ha ha ha ha ha

nice comeback you efin nut! :rofl:

[graywarrior]

29. You helped.

[Ava]

30. i set you up for it huh?

:P

[graywarrior]

33. Like Abbot and Costello

Like The Smother's Bro's
Like Hannity & Colmes

[Ava]

35. hannity and colmes

ewwww.. no you didn't!

you have to be the hannity! :rofl:

[graywarrior]

39. Is he the cute one?

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[DarkTirade]

67. If you hadn't said 'Boston' there, I would have thought you were one of my relatives...

My aunt used to work with contractors, and that's totally something she would say. :)

[Pacifist Patriot]

14. Aw crap. The guys old enough to be your father are my age.

Waaahh!!!!

By relativity...this would be like me being hit on by a 65 year old. Harrison Ford is 65. Whoa, I could live with that. :)

[Ava]

15. but it's uber creepy!

uber uber creepy.. especially when they lean in like that and keep looking down your shirt. :scared:

[Pacifist Patriot]

16. I know sweetie.

This is one of those things that comes with age. I remember being totally grossed out as a teenager. But now that I've experienced it I can hold my own and put reprehensive males in their place. A couple of well phrased words and it brings them awareness and a bit of humility. No woman should have to tolerate it. I yearn for the day when people are people regardless of gender. Though I wonder if the sexual urge to reproduce will ever truly allow that to materialize. Oh well, maybe we can learn to mask it as a species and send better and more age appropriate signals.

[Ava]

19. yeah

doesn't make it any less creepy though. ick

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

17. Don't worry about 'em- come over to my place instead.

I'll make you forget about all those old farts. I'm only 52- surely young enough for a hottie like you!

...You mean like that? :rofl:

[Ava]

20. ewwww. about that bad

:P

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

22. Don't consider me old.

Consider me experienced.

:evilgrin:

[Ava]

23. ok, that's enough

you're starting to creep me out :rofl:

[DarkTirade]

24. Yeah, I really don't get that.

I'm only 25 and I don't hit on girls your age. And I've got plenty of opportunity, my sister is 16 and has several attractive friends near her age that I've met.

BTW, what are you doing later? :P

[Ava]

25. it's just weird!

and still even.. it's not as creepy when a guy somewhat close to my age does it.. but someone that old. it's just GROSS!

(i'm going to my feminazi meeting later so nah! :P )

[DarkTirade]

63. I think for me at least, and I'm sure most of the non-creepy guys on this board will agree,

the difference is probably just that we're looking for more than just sex, we're actually looking for the whole package. I can't be sexually interested in a girl unless I'm actually interested in her. Sure, the attraction has to be there, but I'm not going to hang out with a girl long enough to get to the sexy sexy stuff unless I actually enjoy hanging out with her. And odds are good that a girl your age is just not going to have enough in common with a guy my age to do that.

So it's not just a 'moral' thing, or an I'm-not-creepy thing, it's mostly that I tend to only go for girls that are within my range of what I find interesting. And a girl who is young enough that she still lives with her parents, and therefore doesn't have the same kind of life experiences that I do, isn't within that range. Nothing personal, I'm sure you're nice and all. :)

[Danger Mouse]

28. that's just wrong.

did he have any idea how old you arE?

[Ava]

31. i'm not sure

but i still look too young for him even if he thought i was a bit older than i am.

btw, why the capital E?

[Danger Mouse]

38. because i fail at life.

either that, or it was a typo.
so this guy was an older guy, was he?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

32. That was very unprofessional of that waiter

I'm glad you have a functioning creep detector.

Generally, if a guy's actions give you that "ewww" feeling, he's a creep.

I'm old enough to be your grandmother, I think (gulp!), but I've had several occasions when my creep detector told me to stay away from a man, and I later found out that he was a groper, an incest perpetrator, or an adulterer.

[Ava]

34. this guy was nice enough, but creepy

[KurtNYC]

36. You might be more comfortable dealing with these if you have a stronger way

to send them the signal you are rejecting them and they are being rude.

Make sure your body language can shift into something that is rejecting them. Cross your arms, narrow your eyes. Go ahead and look a little disgusted. Guys hate rejection so they shouldn't persist for long and you may feel more incontrol of these situations.

And of course, there are guys that don't take hints. For someone like the waiter you may have to say directly, "I am uncomfortable with you standing right there." Or just "you're making me uncomfortable"

[Mojambo]

37. You've completely shattered my confidence, thank you very much.

I've had a long standing crush/flirting thing going on with this girl where I work. I REALLY want to ask her out, but I'm like 11 years her senior and I'm afraid she'll think I'm a creepy old man.

Now I'm SURE she'll think that!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

53. Right, overreact

Make a few friendly overtures and see if she's friendly back.

If she gets real busy all of a sudden when you approach her desk, or if she gives terse, one-word answers to your conversational openings, then back off.

[Mojambo]

55. Well, I wasn't being completely serious.

So I wouldn't say I'm overreacting.

Anyway. We're past that point. We talk (and sort of flirt. I'm not sure, I never really "get" flirting) already. I just can't push past the friendly chats into actually making it clear that I'd like to see her as more than a friend. I think it's likely that because of the age difference the idea hasn't even entered her consciousness.

I just don't want to freak her out.

[Dangerously Amused]

40. "Hey, you're one of my Dad's friends, aren't you? What's your name?

Jess? Oh. I guess not."



Heh heh heh.


:7

[jmm]

46. I asked more than one guy in my under-aged days if

I had seen him in one of my parents' year books.

It's amazing how many guys won't get the clue when you tell them your name is statutory.

[Dangerously Amused]

51. Ha ha. The yearbook one is good.

Or, "You look familiar. I think I go to school with one of your kids." Usually backs them off. No guy wants his kids finding out that he hit on one of their friends.

[rockymountaindem]

41. Seriously, who acts like that?

I'm a guy and I could never imagine behaving like that. It's just... I don't know. It seems wrong to me. I mean, have some respect for yourself and other people and lay off the aggressive and obvious bad behavior... (not you, him).

OTOH, maybe those are the kind of guys I see going around with girlfriends...

[Critters2]

42. Get a back brace.

That did it for me!

[ThomCat]

44. Every attractive woman I know (and most less attractive women too)

have dealt this this shit from a young age. It was hearing about stuff like this that first convinced me that feminism was something to take seriously.

Why the hell should girls be so routinely subjected to advances by totally inappropriate guys in inappropriate situations?

I understand that we are perpetually horny. I'm a guy too, after all. And I understand that it often feels like our sole purpose in life is to try to get laid. I like getting laid. But my hormones shouldn't be the focus of your evening, and I don't think some other guy's hormones should be either.
x(

[Throd]

45. You look stressed, I think you need a back rub.

Sorry, we're all pigs.

[originalpckelly]

47. Eewwww is right! You poor dear! On behalf of non-icky guys everywhere...

I would like to apologize! :hug:

[Inchworm]

48. So.. Ava.. come here often?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:hide:

[JVS]

60. LOL!

[Inchworm]

64. Im series!!!1!!1

:P

[johnnie]

49. That's just sick

So ummm...what are you wearing?







LOL. Sorry, that even creeped me out typing it, but I always go for a cheap laugh if I can get it.

[Richard Steele]

52. Aren't you like 15?

That's pretty creepy.

[TK421]

54. I'm sorry, Ava, but I thought I told Jess to leave you alone....

now, I'm just going to have to hunt him down and kick the ever-loving shit out of him...

[ghostsofgiants]

57. Yeah, well at least he didn't stop you walkig down the street and ask if you wanted to have some fun

[Fire Walk With Me]

58. Just remember how it felt when, one day, you're a dirty old lady pinching schoolboys

;-) ;-) ;-)

[SPKrazy]

61. well lil missy

he's just a perv not a pev, a perv.

not right.

i would be leery of him... seriously.

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

62. Ava, that used to happen to my daughter when she was around

your age. Happened for several years, in fact. One of the reasons was that she is "well-endowed", and, like you, she's really cute. She used to attract some of the sickest people, but she learned quickly how to deal with it.

Still, it sucks, and I'm sorry this is happening to you. I don't know what it is about some men who think it's okay to hit on any woman anywhere, but especially when it's an older man hitting on a young woman your age. I wanna smack 'em upside the head, and kick their asses.

[treestar]

65. It is gross, isn't it?

They come from a time when they were taught all women needed that sort of attention - and probably think they are doing you a favor by appreciating your attractiveness. It creeps you out because when you are a young girl, nothing is more unromantic than a 50+ man.

[Guava Jelly]

66. Hey cutie!! ;o)

I kid,i kid.
Sounds like a really creepy dude.
Makes you never want to go to that restaurant again i bet.
But if you do and he acts the same way I'd tell the manager that you don't feel comfortable eating there because of it.
I am sure it will stop after that.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

68. This past spring when I was the store getting some random items.

The dirtiest old man said some of the stupidest things that I have ever heard ... I should have kicked him in the balls but I could have been in jail for assault. So I just put my stuff down and left before the bastard could follow me home and stalk me.

[ContraBass Black]

69. So am I.

On the other hand, I might enjoy a bit more attention from some of the women I know who are old enough to be my mother. In fact, just a couple of days ago, I met a 56 year old who looks 25.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

70. its gross and i have always hated it.

[NashVegas]

72. You'll Be Thankful When You're 42

If age hasn't wizened you.

[HughBeaumont]

73. What's up with you and weird dudes?

First you get hit on while talking about gas chambers and then Melvin the Creepy Waiter starts pervin'.

Uuuuuggghh, I can't even imagine myself hitting on someone like 20-25 years younger than me. The thought of it makes my skin crawl.

Peace not only takes courage, it attracts a hell of a lotta nutjobs apparently.

[idgiehkt]

78. it's just the age

Kind of like "Driving while Black" except it's 'breathing while young'.

I have a friend who is 15, a young gay male, and he gets hit on by everything that breathes as well, and he makes the same complaints all the time about how much older the men are than him and how much it creeps him out.

[HEyHEY]

74. You shold try to pick up some extra money for school if old men like you that much

[IndianaJones]

75. this thread is more disturbing by far. nt.

[CC]

76. I know a young lady who was

very good at getting them to stop looking. She would start a conversation with who ever she was with so that the creep could hear her. Part of the conversation always went something like "Ewww old balls. What is he 25 or something." It always shuts the guy down though it does make eating or talking difficult for the rest of us since we are laughing so hard.

[idgiehkt]

77. I think it's okay to exclaim loudly "you're old enough to be my father."

Or, even better, "OMG, gross..you are old enough to be my father...ewwwww...gag me with a spoon" or whatever the lingo is these days. ;)




You don't have to "be nice and smile". I'm sorry that happened to you...it would be understandable to talk to the manager about it...you are a paying customer and they might want to know if one of their waiters is creeping people out, especially underage girls. One of my lab partners is a drop-dead gorgeous young Russian girl, I think she's 19 or 20, and one of the men in that class was hitting on her one day and asked her how to say "bad girl" in Russian, and she just looked at him without smiling and said 'I'm not going to tell you that'. After he slithered away she told me he is always asking her how to say off-color words in Russian...and he's 40 if he's a day. It's okay to say what you are thinking, I thought it was really cool she let him know in no uncertain terms to leave her alone; as soon as he walked off she said the same exact thing "he's old enough to be my father."

[redqueen]

79. Yup.

I'm 38 and it still happens to me.

:wtf:

[Nikia]

80. I'm in my late 20's and it happens to me all the time

And it still annoys me.