Things you never ever want to hear your surgeon say?

[ohiosmith]

Shit! Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

[cobalt1999]

1. oops!

[skygazer]

2. I think this is the appendix.....

[bicentennial_baby]

3. (After you're sewn up) "Nurse, we're missing one scalpel..."

:D

[CGowen]

33. better than not noticing it. n/t

[texas1928]

4. Why do I always have extra parts when I am done?

Though the worst was coming out of the knock out juice and hearing an orthopedic surgeon talking about having to go down to the ER to help fix up some prisoners from a prison riot. He was talking about picking buckshot out of their asses and pouring alcohol on the wound. I laying there half out of it, and I hear him laughing about that is what he is going to do.

[johnnie]

5. "Man, that Ouzo got me fucked up"

"This dude looks just like that guy who used to pick on me in school. I hated that motherfucker!"

[skygazer]

6. There you go, Mrs. Jones, your bypass went great

(your name is Mr. Swenson and you were there for a hip replacement)

[1gobluedem]

7. Whoa, I've never seen THAT before!

Not reassuring.

[MissMillie]

14. yep, that one or....

"Hmmmm... now THAT'S interesting!"

[Changenow]

48. I was going to post that!

a surgeon actually said that to me once.

[lost-in-nj]

8. Boy I hope

my hiccups don't come back.....


lost

[ohiosmith]

19. :

:rofl:

[MrCoffee]

9. WOOHOO!!! ohiosmith made it!

welcome back, ya coot! how's the eyeball?

[ohiosmith]

13. Minor complication, they removed my left kneecap.

Everything went great. Left one scheduled for next week.

[MrCoffee]

17. outstanding.

[jobycom]

29. wait wait wait

You DON'T want to hear a surgeon say that?

[skygazer]

10. Damn! Forgot my glasses! Nurse, guide my hand....

[Parche]

11. Eye See

HOW ARE THE EYEBALLS?????????????



:hi:

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

12. We have the capability to make the world's first

bionic man.

[flvegan]

15. "What do you mean we're OUT of anesthetic? We're only halfway done!"

[skygazer]

16. My doctor once said, "Huh, that's odd" during a routine pelvic exam

That was lots of fun.

And another doctor once asked me, in the middle of a breast exam, "What kind of insurance do you have again?"

:wtf:

[ThomCat]

18. Both of those sound like damned scary situations.

:(

[Critters2]

22. Mine, too!

It led to months of tests, and an ultimate diagnosis of asymptomatic endometriosis. From then on, when doctors get quizzical, I get nervous.

[billyskank]

43. I want that job.

:D

[driver8]

20. "My tee time is at 2:00, so I've got to crank this one out."

[Burma Jones]

21. HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

41. I've got Skin Failure and I can't get up!

nt

[underpants]

23. "...and then Reagan sent in the Marines to rescue the entire med school"

:scared:

[XemaSab]

34. awesome!

:rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

24. Good morning. This is Dr. ohiosmith. He'll be assisting me. n/t

[Deep13]

25. It's not color-coded like the book. nt

[Deep13]

26. I actually operate better when I'm drunk. nt

[Richard Steele]

27. "I bet you thought you'd never see ME again, you bastard!"

[FloridaJudy]

28. Holy cow! This is one for the books!

Has anybody got a camera?

[jobycom]

30. Nurse, take off my mask, I'm going to puke! nt

[madinmaryland]

31. George W. Bush is a great president.

:scared:

[Pacifist Patriot]

32. Psyche dude! I get to cut for the first time.

[XemaSab]

35. "You'll want to schedule an appointment with my colleague... he's the best plastic surgeon we have."

:scared:

[skygazer]

36. I had my woody for lunch

Whoops, wrong thread. Though I don't think I'd want to hear that from anyone, including my surgeon.

[texas1928]

37. "So they will have to get used to wearing turtle necks...

SO what?!?"


You were in for an appendectomy.

[rug]

38. What the hell is that!

[Deep13]

39. I guess it will have to be a closed casket. nt

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

40. Me? I graduated from Bob Jones University Medical School!

If you pray hard enough, your appendix should just pop right on out!

[Ilsa]

46. "But it's a good thing my lawyer graduated from Regents!" nt

[NoGOPZone]

42. "I really wish my hand would stop shaking"

[Ilsa]

44. My partner forgot to write "L" and "R" on the backs of my hands this morning. nt

[Ilsa]

45. Pour me one. It's five o'clock somewhere. nt

[Roon]

47. Has anyone seen my watch? eom

[Frosty1]

49. Oops

:wow:

[Book Lover]

50. "Was that four or five...

sponges?"

[sarge43]

51. "Hey, wanna see something really gross?"

"Damnit. Get a staple gun."

"Shit! I hate it when the paramedics mix up the legs and arms."

[KamaAina]

52. "Can you hold on a few minutes? My malpractice attorney is on the line."

:scared:

[CTyankee]

53. "It was nasty" said by my surgeon after diverticulitis surgery.

Turned out I developed complications from adhesions and a simple, laparoscopic assisted surgery resulted in another 2 surgeries. 4 weeks in the hospital and rehab. 6 weeks of daily visits by VNA to monitor the abdominal wound. 5 months of maintaining a temporary colostomy.

The only good thing was that I lost 25 pounds. Be careful what you wish for.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

54. "Damfino"........(scratches head)

You do NOT want to baffle medical science.

[GOPisEvil]

55. The knee bone is connected to the ... what again?

[sakabatou]

56. Oh CRAP!

I left my surgical knife in there without closing the internal stitches!

[sarge43]

57. "Hand me the ... ah ... wait, I'll get it ... the ..." n/t