Why did the Grinch (who lived just North of Who-ville) hate the whole Christmas season?

[Boojatta]

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. "Grinch" is nearly an anagram of "Gingrich".

'Nuff said.

[XemaSab]

2. Harry Potter fan.

n/t

[skygazer]

3. Because Christmas is nothing but a display of blatant consumerism

Tricked out in the disguise of sappy sentimentality and false generosity. :P

[Myrina]

17. I'll second that ...

:applause:

[KamaAina]

4. Everyone knows North Who-ville is a Blue district.

Full of commie, tree-hugging atheists who watch that lying SOB Keith Olbermann instead of the voice of truth and light, Bill O'Reilly.

:sarcasm:

[sasquatch]

5. He worked in the bottom rung of retail

[Elidor]

6. !

:thumbsup:

:rofl:

[sasquatch]

11. You're welcome

[haf216]

10. Even working the "top" rung of retail.

at that time of year, will make you hate Christmas!:banghead:

[sasquatch]

13. Oh yeah, I'm sure I'd be to a six pack a day if I that job

[jmowreader]

14. Six pack of bourbon, you mean?

[unsavedtrash]

7. family n/t

[idgiehkt]

8. no internet up there...no free porn.

:shrug:

[Yavin4]

9. He Was A Part of The Liberal Left's Secularizing America Scheme

A field general in the war on Christmas.


At least that's what Billo would say.

[TommyO]

12. It's clear he was a Republican who believed in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps!

and he was just making sure that people, or the "whos" had to do just that to enjoy a holiday season.

[DarkTirade]

15. Because his brain is full of spiders, and he's got garlic in his soul

He's a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

[krispos42]

16. He listens to Kool 108 in Minneapolis/St. Paul

I'm dead serious. Last year, they started playing Christmas music 24 hours a day the DAY AFTER Thanksgiving. Or it might have been the Monday before Thanksgiving, but it was fuckin' EARLY.

Did I mention it was 24 hours a day?

Do you realize how deep down in the Christmas music warehouse they have to DIG to find enough Christmas music to fill the 840 hours or so between Thanksgiving and Christmas?!?!?!?

Things like Jon Bon Jovi singing "O Christmas Tree". Da Yoopers singing "Rusty Chevrolet" (which is funny the first two times you hear it. Then it wears thin). Sting sings "Little Drummer Boy". Devo sings "The 12 Days of Christmas".

You get the idea.

Oh, and that dorky Paul McCartney song!



I mean, I have earplugs and loud machinery to help me out when my boss (who loves it) reaches for that volume knob. It's a wonder that the Grinch is not out planting explosives on Whoville's broadcast antenna!

[flvegan]

18. Roast Beastine Spongiform Encephalopathy (RBSE)

[Tommy_Carcetti]

19. According to Bill O'Reilly....

He was a "secular progressive" bent on destroying everyone's enjoyment of the holiday. According to Bill O'Reilly, of course.

[begin_within]

20. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich With arsenic sauce.

- Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss)