I'm getting married Saturday! Give me your good marriage advice. :)

[Phillycat]

This is for anyone, not just married people. Maybe your parents had a wonderful marriage, or you have close friends or relatives whose marriage you admire. I already know some things: don't go to bed angry. Communication, honesty, and trust are paramount.

What would you add to the list? What's made your marriage work?

[AllegroRondo]

1. she's always right.

dont fight it.

[Phillycat]

6. Since I'm the "she", I like that rule!

:D

[BOSSHOG]

10. "YES DEAR"

and as the boys on Car Talk say, make it sound like you mean it.

[Parche]

24. Hey Boss

Those Car Talk guys are wild, thick Boston accent.......:hi:

[BOSSHOG]

33. I get two chances to listen to them each weekend

once on Saturday and once on Sunday. I hang out in the garage and they usually have me in stiches for most of the hour. I even get a little car repair advice too.

Is the picture you have posted here at Philadelphia Naval Shipyard? Those buildings in the background look somewhat familiar. I was stationed there in the 80's.

[Parche]

34. Hey Boss

Its actually Mare Island (SFO) USS Tang launching and fitting late 1943 I recommend this book, its awesome reading........:hi:

[Deep13]

16. That's a recipe for divorce.

You don't have to agree on everything. If you don't live like that now, you won't went you are married.

[Bassic]

18. That goes for when you have kids too. nt

[Deep13]

2. Keep a plunger next to the toilet.

Also don't expect him/her to change.

[gizmonic]

13. Hee-Hee. I remember. That was the advice we got at our wedding.

Didn't we?

:hi: :hug:

[Deep13]

27. pssssst.

You're a Sweetie.
:loveya:

[Richardo]

3. Watching television in different rooms

We'll yell out if something good is on (like Lawrence in Office Space: "Hey Peter! Channel nine man, it's the breast exams!")

[Deep13]

9. Personally, I hate that.

I never let TV come between us.

[Richardo]

14. We don't either. That's why we watch what we want.

If it happens to be the same show, we watch together.

We figure, why should one of us be bored, resentful or just peeved because we don't have the same taste in entertainment for 30 minutes or an hour? Go watch your show, I'll watch mine, and we'll meet back in the living room (or bedroom) later.

On edit: 18 years next March.

[Droopy]

4. Congrats!

I think money tears apart more people than anything so you both should agree on how to use your income. Don't buy expensive things without consulting one another. Set a budget, things like that.

[MissMillie]

5. Never say "no" to a reasonable request

and never ask anything that isn't reasonable.

[seemunkee]

7. Your spouse should be your best friend

That doesn't mean you have to share every activity together, enjoy the differences in each other as well as the similarities.

And don't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, at least for the first few years.

This Wednesday will be my 25th anniversary

[BOSSHOG]

8. Strive to develop a friendship with each other

Be each other's best friend.

- share the bill paying duties. Have one checking account in both names. Don't hide money matters from each other. Both open a ROTH IRA and add to them monthly.
- Strive to appreciate what each other appreciates while allowing your partner their own time when needed.
- Share household duties, washing, cooking, cleaning.
- Surprise your mate with a cheap "surprise" every now and then. My wife and I have been doing it for almost 35 years, its a fun way to connect.
- Don't be so stubborn to admit the other is right on some matters even if he/she isn't. (Imagine both of you thinking this way.)

Best of luck to you.

[hippywife]

11. Congratulations!

First, for the wedding day. Enjoy it and live in every moment. It goes by in a whirlwind. Later you think, I wish I would have spent more time visiting with this person or that person, people you rarely get to see or who are truly dear to you.

Second, for married life. Pick your battles. It isn't worth getting upset or angry over the little things like socks on the floor or putting things away where they don't belong, if they're put away at all. Is your spouse loving and otherwise thoughtful and considerate? Let that be your focus and ignore the rest. Those things don't matter, even if they can be irritating at times. When you do find yourself getting irritated over some small thing, immediately bring to mind all the good attributes of your spouse and why you love them, and let the irritation wash out of your body.

Most importantly, treat one another as more important than yourself. If you both make this your guiding principle, you can only have a wonderful and successful marriage.

I wish you both love, kindness, gentleness, and a long life together. :hi:

[skygazer]

12. Congratulations

I have no advice but I just wanted to say that. :bounce:

[jus_the_facts]

15. Congratulations....

...no advice...just happy for you!! :hi:

[Haole Girl]

17. This is my favorite little piece of advice

...someone wrote to me, in a card, just before getting married:


Kiss him in the morning
Kiss him in the evening
Kiss him at supper time
Kiss your hubby and
Make a happy bed.


Congratulations... and best wishes! :hi:

[soleft]

19. Move all ottomons away from anyone taking pictures

Okay, that's more advice for the wedding than the marriage. But my aunt step backwards while taking my picture, tripped over an ottomon and broker her wrist an hour before the ceremony.

[bicentennial_baby]

20. And make sure that there are no drawbridges enroute to the wedding!

Sniffa was late for ours b/c the drawbridge happened to be up on his way to the spot...Needless to say, I was not amused. :rofl:

[soleft]

23. I just learned something

I didn't know you were married to Sniffa!

[bicentennial_baby]

30. Yep, for a little over a month now

:)

[soleft]

32. Congrats and Congrats Janesez

[Shine]

21. Make what's important to your spouse important to you.

that's my advice.

Good luck and many blessings of Joy and Abundant Love to you, janesez! :toast:

[I Have A Dream]

22. Have your home be an oasis from the outside stresses of the world.

Congratulations!

[Parche]

25. STAY SINGLE

:bounce: :bounce: :hi:

[Phillycat]

26. LOL!

No, thanks. Been single for 34 years and would have happily stayed single forever. I don't want to be married, I want to be married to HIM. :D

[underpants]

28. You're getting married?!?!??!

That's inconceivable!!

[underpants]

29. You're getting married?!?!??!

That's inconceivable!!

[EstimatedProphet]

31. And we're going to a wedding Saturday!

The woman that introduced us, in fact.

The advice: Never let an argument run into bedtime. Resolve it first. Also, remember that your partner may have a different perspective than you do, and that doesn't make them wrong, just different.

[Dora]

35. Focus on the good, the well, the positive.

Share the kitchen. :)

Don't tell him how to drive. :)

Take turns being the alpha mate. :)

Don't argue in your bedroom. :)

Keep space for yourself. :)

Find humility, and express it. :)

Know gratitude, and express it. :)

[SarahB]

36. A couple of things.

1. Don't wait to talk about problems. Trouble occurs when you sit on things and don't bring them out in the forefront and deal with situations as they occur.

2. Mutually be able to apologize. In just about every disagreement, there's no one person at fault. Each person, at times, needs to step back and each must be willing to look at their part in things and be willing to compromise. I think my husband and I would both say our first marriages failed in large part because our former spouses were not willing to do this. It breaks down communication when one person is looked upon as the problem and the other is not willing to see their part in the situation. No one's perfect. No one's ever entirely bad either.

[n2doc]

37. All the advice is good.

The thing that I think most people miss nowadays is, you have to believe in your marriage and want it to keep going. Too many, in my opinion, bail out at the first sign of trouble, instead of recognizing that the passion you feel at first might not last forever but the deeper love will. You will, in all likelihood, have days where you wonder "why am I doing this? Why am I here?" The key is to recognize this as something that everyone goes through and to work to resolve the problems creating those feelings. And sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on....

Good Luck and best wishes for a happy life together!

[Haole Girl]

38. Agreed

Marriage isn't a piece of cake...
it's a lot of vegetables, too.

-Deacon George

[SKKY]

39. Never go to bed mad at each other, and...

...lots and lots of crazy, freaky circus-like sex. Yep. That'll do it.

[no name no slogan]

40. don't trust whitey

see a doctor and get it fixed

[underpants]

44. ;-)

:rofl:

[LaraMN]

41. If you kick a big dent in the front of the dishwasher,

blame it on the kids.

:P

[Dervill Crow]

42. Don't both get mad at the same time.

That's worked for us for 33 years. Wait until things have cooled down and you can talk rationally about whatever it is.

[kwassa]

43. Advice: Don't give marriage advice.

Patience, take the long view, pick the important battles carefully, don't corner your mate ... and if you can be best friends, that is indeed the best.

Sometimes you have to go to bed without resolution, and with anger, because the pieces haven't sorted themselves out yet.

Each marriage is unique, find what works for you and your partner, which may not work for anyone else in this world.

[underpants]

45. A lot of women aren't aware that....

you have to do the anal thing now. No really you find out about that from all the married women once you ARE married. I think I can get in a lot of trouble letting this get out but there it is.

Seriously.

























:evilgrin:

[no name no slogan]

46. Don't spend too much on a good divorce lawyer

because they're all vultures. Just let him take whatever shit he wants in nine years and move on.

[bbernardini]

47. Next time, hire my band.

http://www.thevibetribe.net

:)

[regularguy]

48. AVOID THE DUCK BOAT!

Married twelve happy years, never been on the duck boat. Coincidence? I think not.

[Phillycat]

49. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will definitely keep that in mind. :D

[qb]

50. Be really really really sure...

you're heterosexual :)

[bluethruandthru]

51. Don't expect to always be "in love" with your spouse.

Don't be afraid when you feel like you hate the other person. It doesn't mean the marriage is over. When you make a lifetime commitment, you have to be prepared to feel many different emotions about the person you spend years with.
Too many people think "I'm not in love with him/her anymore..so it's time for a divorce". Chances are, the love will always come back! :)

Congratulations!

[applegrove]

52. I wouldn't know but I heard that in marriage courses they teach you

to crumple up a piece of paper and give it to whichever partner has the floor during an argument. Each person says their piece and you are forced to listen when the paper is not in your hand. You hand it over to your partner once you have clearly stated your feelings in an assertive (when you do "that" it makes me feel "this" way) manner.

Don't know it it works. But worth a try.

[City of Mills]

53. Communication.

Communication, communication, communication. Most important advice anyone can give you. Make sure you keep open and honest communication. Don't ever coast in the relationship. Don't get too comfortable.

To summarize, the most important thing is communication.

Communication!

[City of Mills]

55. Oh wait, you're female...nevermind

No sense preaching to the choir...communication comes to women more naturally. OK, you have to realize you married an idiot. Oh, i'm sure he gets a lot of things right, but trust me he's an idiot and he's gonna screw up.

Patience! Be patient with your man, you do realize you will have to train him in certain ways, correct? As long as your patient and you train him to do certain things your way (and you will have to train him, much like a dog only dogs catch onto things much easier). Do that, and also don't take any shit from him. Ever.

And don't forget the 7 year rule - whatever his physical age is, he's emotionally 7 years younger than that. Or he will probably at least act that way most of the time. I don't know why! Never trust your man to have all the answers.

That's all I can think of for now! Good luck!

[EFerrari]

54. One good laugh is worth 25 apologies.

Good luck!

[graywarrior]

56. Develop tolerance. . .

lots of it.

[Guava Jelly]

57. I have no advice

But I offer my congratulations.
I wish you and the lucky gentleman who won your love a lifetime of happiness.
:toast:

[City of Mills]

58. Don't lose yourself!

Keep your own interests and hobbies, and try out his. If he doesn't have hobbies or interests, encourage him to work on that.

[City of Mills]

59. Don't tempt fate!

If you do end up not getting along for some reason, DO NOT confide in a close male friend, with alcohol involved. Don't ever assume any males in your life are 'just friends' and wouldn't want more than that. If I think of anything else I'll let you know!

[BlooInBloo]

60. The only useful thing I've ever heard Dr. Phil say...

... "Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?"

Think about that when you're about to argue.

[begin_within]

61. His and Hers AK-47 machine guns

[jobendorfer]

62. Best advice I ever got was ...

... always sleep in the same bed and have *two* checking accounts.
Necessary but oh so far from sufficient.

There you go. Best wishes & good luck!

J.

[mcscajun]

63. Agree to never say the "D" word: Divorce.

Not even in jest. It's got resonance and power, incredible power. Don't invoke it lightly for any reason.

Hope your marriage works out and you're both very happy for a long, long time. :)

[GOPisEvil]

64. Give him space sometimes. Sometimes we're thinking about nothing.

Congratulations! I'm happy for you!

[southpaw]

65. Relationship priorities.

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. The students laughed. He asked his students again if the jar was full? They agreed that yes, it was.
The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. He proceeded to pour a cup of wine into the jar and shook it as the wine slipped between all the sand.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.
The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important. Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities.
The rest is just pebbles and sand. And remember, there is always room for wine.

[Zomby Woof]

66. Make each other laugh

As often as possible.

:-)

[BlueIris]

67. A desire to suffer. A lot.

No, I'm kidding. Kinda.