So, I got this threatening phone call last night

[flvegan]

This girl I've been friends with for 6 or 7 years has my cell number in her cell phone, and saw that we've spoken in the last week or so. Well, psycho boyfriend called and said unkind things and threatened me with certain ugly allegations as to my untimely demise. Fucking moron leaves this on my voice mail, calling from her phone.

Sigh. Happy Friday everyone.

[malta blue]

1. Has he ever seen you????

I mean, I have seen your picture, and if I were a guy I would never want to f**k with you.

Happy Friday...:hug:

[flvegan]

4. I don't know.

She may have pictures from the times we've hung out over the years. I have no idea what he knows about me, which has me a little concerned.

He also used the "me and my boys" routine in regards to a confrontation.

[malta blue]

6. Well I am so sorry to hear that, and I would be sure to keep

the message....it sounds menacing, perhaps you want to contact the authorities...:hug:

[Deep13]

2. If it's threatening, make a police report.

Keep the message as evidence.

[bleedingheart]

9. I agree

[mikeytherat]

3. In college, one of my roomies had a girlfriend whose former BF was

the poster child for "Psycho Ex." Even had a plane fly over the campus with a banner that said, "Hi (roomie's name): How are you doing?" (guess he couldn't get any "real" threats past the banner pilot or something). Showed up a few times at our apartment, tried to break in once. Within six months of this starting he had been institutionalized.

Pretty damn scary.

mikey_the_rat

[LeftyMom]

5. Wanna give me his contact information?

:grr: Nobody gets to give you a hard time.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

7. Let her know that she, too might be in danger

this is pretty serious. Let her know she needs to get away from him. Assholes like him abound, and their temper breaks easily, don't let her become one of those "But he really does love me, he just gets angry sometimes" women. Act ASAP

[flvegan]

10. I just spoke with her.

She's known that this guy is certifiable. Also, coming from her phone, with her in the background not trying to stop him...sort of implicates her, too. I tried to tell her that she needs to get this guy out of her life.

I haven't called the police yet, as I'm afraid he may hurt her. Quandry. I've got a call into my attorney friend, and a call into a buddy to see if I can talk to his dad (detective with the police here) as to what I should do.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

11. short term emotional harm does not trump her life

do what has to be done, even if it means sacrifising the friendship.

[Susang]

12. He called from her phone?

I think your worry about him hurting her is a legitimate concern. Perhaps if you contacted a local battered women's shelter and asked for their advice on how to handle the situation? I'm sure you know how to take care of yourself, but it sounds as if she might have a hard time defending herself.

[flvegan]

18. Yes, from her phone

I'm not so much worried about him harming me. I am concerned about him gathering friends to do something (as he threatened) and I'm concerned about what he might do to her. Also, having read some of these other posts, I'm worried what he may do to her anyway.

[skygazer]

15. As someone who has been in her situation

I would lean toward calling the police. I think your idea of conferring with your attorney friend and you buddy's dad is a good one but I think that's the way to go.

Part of what was so hard about living with a psycho abuser was the fact that no one was willing to step in at all. Not by directly stepping in and not by calling the police. I couldn't do it myself because quite simply, he would have killed me. He had me pretty well trapped.

But someone else doing that would have done three things - it would have shown me that others felt the situation was wrong (which in the psychological screwiness of those things is sometimes hard to grasp, especially when the world turns a blind eye), it would have put me one step away from the call to the police, giving me somewhat of a shield from his wrath, and it might have given me a glimpse of a way out.

Of course, I have no idea of what your friend's situation is but if you're afraid he'll hurt her, it's not good. Whatever you decide, good luck.

[bleedingheart]

8. behavior like this should not be tolerated and it is a risk

if you have the message saved...I recommend calling the police.

Too many folks have been hurt when they have ignored this kind of behavior.

Any verbal threat to do harm to someone that is serious...should be handled seriously.

If he is not unhinged but thought it was funny...the police will set him straight...

If he is unhinged...then they may end up taking him in...

[Guava Jelly]

13. You stay the hell away from my g_rl or I'll

have hypnotoad kick yer Ass..:hide:

Shit dude..Some people are just jealous assholes..

[ThomCat]

14. Is she safe from this guy?

Separating a woman from all her friends is a hallmark of abusive relationships. So is suspicion that any guy must be a lover on the side. This sounds like classic isolating behavior.

I hope she's okay.

I hope you diffuse this somehow so that this doesn't escallate. Please be careful, and be well.

[LeftyFingerPop]

16. Take it seriously fivegan...

never underestimate the lunacy of people.

Keep yourself safe.

[Midlodemocrat]

17. See. If only you ate meat, you wouldn't be so

scrawny.


:hide:

Good thoughts for you, Guest.

[LSK]

19. another vote for calling the police

[ghostsofgiants]

20. Sounds like she's dating a real winner.

[Name removed]

21. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

22. That always sucks

I dated a girl who had a psycho ex that said he was going to carry a lead pipe in his car and beat the next guy he saw with her.

She needs to call the cops, but if she won't, it's up to you.

[Kali]

23. So what did you do?

[flvegan]

27. My big concern is with her not getting hurt.

However, as I understand it today, he has come to understand the error of his actions.

[Downtown Hound]

24. This has happened to me before

Had a guy threaten to shoot me and stalk me from the bushes where I would never see him because my girlfriend cheated on me with him and then went back to me. It turned out that he was an unemployed loser who rode on a bicycle and already had two felonies on his record. I would love to have seen him try and stalk me from a bicycle. One more felony would have been strike number three for him, and he would have gone away for 25 to life. So when I threatened to go to the cops, he abruptly stopped calling. Heh, some bad ass.

Just trying to let you know that it's probably nothing, usually people in these situations are all talk. But, (did you sense a but coming here?) you have to prepare for the one time that you actually get a real psycho. Here's what I did: I called the guy up, told him that I had his messages on my answering machine, I had his name, his phone number, and if I ever got another phone call from him again, the first thing I would do is hang up on him and call the police. I told him that making threatening phone calls is a felony in many states and that the cops don't fuck around with it. I told him if he ever got within ten feet of me that he would be lucky if he only went to the emergency room. And then I hung up. He laughed on the phone, tried to make himself sound much tougher than he really was, but he never called me again.

Be very firm here. If you want to take it to the cops right away, that's your right. But be prepared that it could open the doors to a long struggle with this individual. That's why I decided to call mine first. I thought maybe if I put the fear into him, then it wouldn't be necessary to involve the police. In my case, it worked.

Good luck. I know it sucks having to go through that, but I really don't think you have much to worry about. People that hide behind phones are more often cowards than not.

[Jack_Dawson]

25. OK I'll ask:

What did he say?

[flvegan]

26. Specifically?

That I was a dead man, and soon. He knew where I worked, and that "one call to my boys up north" would see my demise within a week.

[Jack_Dawson]

28. He's full of crap

But of course I can see how that would be unnerving. I'd maybe take a mini-vacation from the drama for about a week.

[flvegan]

29. 90% most likely, yes

However, that 10% that's left there, when booze and buddies come together, worry me. My friend/his girlfriend has confirmed that he is truly certifiable.

[Jack_Dawson]

30. You should call the police

to at least cover that base. I believe there is a crime somewhere in there.