This is pathetic. My dad died 30 years ago this month and I have no idea of the actual date

[graywarrior]

and neither does my brother. WTF is wrong with us?

[mainegreen]

1. Date? Who cares.

The question is do you remember your dad. That's what's important, isn't it?

(Yes I know a serious post. Clearly a lapse for me.)

[graywarrior]

3. How can I be serious about anything on my family?

And my dad is a difficult man to forget.

[formerrepuke]

29. As a time reference: Elvis died on Tuesday, August 16th, 1977...sometimes

the dates of newsworthy events help to 'locate' something in the past (my grandmother died the following day- which is how I remember the date of her passing).

[Kali]

2. It's not pathetic.

I can only remember my mothers death by a complicated rehashing of the events around it (near Valentine's Day) and the fact that she was doing greeting cards in hospice the day before she died.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. I can't remember the date my dad died, either

Or my mom.

I just don't have a head for dates. :shrug:

[Shine]

5. What matters most is that you remember your dad.

:hug:
imo, there's nothing wrong with you for not remembering the exact date he died.

[graywarrior]

6. Wow, thanks guys. I've been feeling bad about that all this time

[Xipe Totec]

11. I just realized now, that I only know the month and year of his death,

but not the day.

Funny, but for almost twenty years after his death, people were confused when I spoke about him and thought he was still alive.

Because I always spoke about him as if he was still with me, just not present at the moment.

It was many years before I realized that this was part of my cultural heritage; that Mexicans never really say goodbye to the dead.

They are always with us.

[Guava Jelly]

7. I can't remember the exact date my mother died on even a few years back

I remember what i didn't eat that night because i had no appetite.

[bridgit]

8. is it said: time heals all wounds, but i remember my dad's...

if only because my brother Willy and i had to clean up his apt after having been declared a homicide scene :(

[In_The_Wind]

9. Don't feel bad.

My dad died 34 years ago in April. No, I don't know the date. I could research it on the web but I'm not going to. He's been gone since I was 24. I wish I understood him better then like I think I do now.


I'm sorry that you are troubled by not knowing, graywarrior.

[RevolutionaryActs]

10. My dad died August 11th

you can use that date too, if you want. :P

[Omphaloskepsis]

12. I don't know the date of my fathers death.. (08/**/1987)

I also don't know my moms birthday (**/**/1953).. I do know that it is my sisters birthday tomorrow and I should get her something nice.

[cobalt1999]

13. My dad died in Feb, 2003.

I have no idea of the exact date, and that was only 4 years ago. After 30 years, I'll doubt I'll even be able to remember the year, so you're doing great.

BTW, as a dad, I hope my children don't focus on the date I die. That would be a depressing thought. I'd much rather they forget it and remember the camping trips, fishing, hiking, and good times we had together.

[hfojvt]

14. sometimes they have the exact date here

http://www.familysearch.org/Eng/Search/frameset_search.asp?PAGE=ssdi/search_ssdi.asp&clear_form=true

Social security death index on familysearch.org. It only goes back to the late 1960s though. Somewhere there's a courthouse and/or a newspaper with exact dates on record.

[UTUSN]

34. Your link WORKS!1 & the Search for my dad went back to 1881. n/t

[Canuckistanian]

15. I don't remember the exact date my mom died, either

But she died about two weeks before I got married. I could figure it out, I guess, but it's not important for me to know the exact day.

It's not a day I particularly want to remember.

[QMPMom]

16. September 28, 1980 - date bio-so-called-mother died.

Happiest day of my life up to that point.

[ornotna]

17. I know my mother and fathers birthday

But I don't remember the date they died either. That must mean something. :shrug:

[lumberingbear]

18. My father died 40 years ago last month.

7/23/67 He was 60 years old and I was 20. Now I'm 60 years old. Those 40 years went kinda fast kids!!! :shrug:

[RushIsRot]

19. My dad died on my birthday in 2004. That one will be hard to

forget.

[Radio_Lady]

20. Graywarrior, don't fret too much. You can order a death certificate through the SSDI web site,

if you really need to know.

My mother died in March 1991. Her birthdate was 11/9/1919, so I remember the years (1919-1991)

My father died in October 1988. His birthdate was 11/11/1911, so I remember the years (1911-1988)

I don't have siblings and no one else remembers any of their dates.

I usually light a candle for them both to span the period from November 9 to 11th when the sky is getting darker and the nights shorter as we head towards winter.

In peace,

Radio Lady in Oregon

From the 1940s -- our little family in Miami:

[Ellen Forradalom]

21. I can't remember, either.

I only remember it as two weeks before 9/11.

[Momgonepostal]

22. Have you checked the Social Security Death Index?

I don't know if they'll have the exact date or just the month and year, but it's worth a shot. At any rate, it will list the county of death so you can order a death certificate.

[Kutjara]

23. I only remember mine because it's the same date as...

...JFK's assassination. Not the year, just the day and date. The year is much vaguer. 1993 or '4. Not too sure without digging out the death cert.

[graywarrior]

24. If ever I identify with a group of strange-o's like myself, it's you guys at DU

Thanks for posting these. It really made my day.

[MissMillie]

25. Should be on public record w/ the town clerk of the town he lived in when he died

If you know the month, I'm sure they can find it for you.

[Blue Diadem]

26. I don't think it's unusual to forget the actual date..I remember some and not others.

I think it's due to some passing on holidays, birthdays etc. My Dad died on a Memorial day..but since that day date changes, I would have to check to see the actual day. My Mom passed on Valentines day..my sister the day after her birthday so those actual dates I remember easier.

I have no idea what actual day my brother passed or my in-laws without looking it up.

[trof]

27. It's very inconsiderate for people to die on days you can't forget.

My father-in-law died on New Years Eve day.
Miz t. remembers every year.

I couldn't even tell you the YEAR my mother died without doing some mental calculations.
I have it written down somewhere.
But her birthday was Dec. 26, and I remember that each year.

[raccoon]

28. Gray, there must be a state agency in your state that keeps all death

records. If you don't know which one, ask your public library.

ANother thing, you could look in the Obituaries in the microfilm of your local newspaper.

[CottonBear]

30. It's OK. My dad died suddenly when I was 17. I don't remember the date either.

It was in April or March of 1981.

I've never been back to the gravesite and I don't actually know exactly where it is.

Oh well. I wouldn't worry about not remembering. Sometimes, you don't need to remember bad things.

:hug:

edit: Just remember and think about your dad's life and not his death. :hug:

[skygazer]

31. I have never remembered the dates people died

I remember their birthdays, that sort of thing - why would I commemorate the day they died? I've always thought that was strange and morbid.

I have no idea what day my mom died. She died in September 1975. It was the worst day of my life. That's all I need to remember about it.

[reyd reid reed]

32. Nothing's wrong...it's just the passage of time.

You'll remember the date sooner or later. My mother died 30 years ago this month, too...and then my stepmother died five years ago this month (ironically, it happened that her funeral was actually on the 25th anniversary of my mother's death). My SIL was murdered the night before the 20th anniversary of my mother's death. This is the first year that the specific date has passed without my remembering.

I felt horrible.

[graywarrior]

33. I remember my mom's date because she died a year before he did

I must have blocked it out. Two deaths in one year was kinda intense.

[Javaman]

35. My dad died July 24th 2000. He escaped morons* tyranny. nt