Bad Joke Of The Day

[Parche]

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two

people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were

both super workers.

Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who

used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying

all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before

but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."

:shrug:

[BOSSHOG]

1. Excellent My Friend

I like warped humor:

A man heard a knock on the door
he opened the door and a snail was on the porch
the man picked the snail up and threw it as far as he could
three years later another knock on the door
the man opened the door and there again was the snail
"what was that all about?"

Two nuns got in a car wreck
the mechanic sent them to a fruit stand
because he heard nuns traveled in "pairs"


Gratuitous humor:

100 Sailors go down in a Submarine, 50 couples return

[pokerfan]

2. LOL

Couple of oldies but goodies...

_______________________________
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.

"Name’s Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you’d like to come."

"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there’s gonna be some drinkin’."

"Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of ’em."

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More ’n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too."

Damn, Sam thinks... Tough crowd. "Well, I get along with people. I’ll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I’ve seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

"Now that’s not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I’ve been alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"

Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."


_______________________________
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis in the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh... she got fired too."