Why is the "bad boy" always more attractive than the "good boy?"

[begin_within]

[skygazer]

1. Why is the bubble-headed blonde with the big breasts

always more attractive than the quiet girl with brains?

[begin_within]

2. Oh you're right

[Tyler Durden]

3. Don't ask ME, I was madly in love with my co-salutorian...

SMART, sort of cute, nice smile....So I got a couple of A-'s and a C in woodshop on PURPOSE so she could have it all, and she STILL crushed and gushed over the captain of the basketball team.

Go figure.

[EstimatedProphet]

13. They're not

That kind of attraction wears off in a hurry.

[Shakespeare]

28. I'm a blonde with big breasts.

But I'm usually one of the smarter people in a room at any given time.

Can we please knock it off with the knee-jerk blonde hatred? :eyes:

Those comments are really, really irritating.

And as for the nice guy/bad boy issue: my current love interest is a nice guy on the level of freakin' Dudley Do-Right, and I'm over the moon about him. He's also frighteningly intelligent and a little irreverent; I think it's more a matter of making yourself interesting to the other sex. "Nice guy" tends to be a euphemism for "boring as hell" much of the time.

Truly nice guys, if they're smart and interesting, have got it all over the bad boys.

[skygazer]

43. Oh, for heaven's sake

I was responding in the same cliched manner as the OP's question - I would have thought that was fairly obvious. The old "girls always go for the bad boy" thing is a riduculous cliche, untrue and based as much on insecurity as anything else.

I mean, a lot of the women who supposedly flock to a "bad boy" aren't anyone that a "good boy" would be interested in anyway, I would think.

But my whole point was, it's a silly sterotype, just like the bubble-headed blonde with no brains.

Sorry if you were offended but jeez!

[Shakespeare]

48. I fully get your point, but...

...take a look around this site sometime and notice just how much the cliche about the dumb blonde (or kidnapped blonde or brutalized blonde or republican(!) blonde, etc. etc. etc.) gets tossed around derisively.

Am I thin-skinned about it? You bet your ass I am. The cliche is just as effective if you generalize without always making it a slam to the blondes (especially out of consideration to those of us born with this color hair, who don't have it by way of a bottle of peroxide).

[skygazer]

84. I fucking give up

I really do. Of course I recognize the stereotype - that's why I used it. To point out how absurdly stupid it is.

Yeah, you bet. Next time, I'll generalize - I'll say, "girl who wears glasses" and everyone who wears glasses will jump down my throat for offending them. Or I'll say, "woman who's got a hot body" and I'll be jumped on for objectifying women. Or I'll say, "female with large breasts" and get yelled at by large-breasted women. Because apparently no one around here has the brains to recognize irony when they see it. :banghead:

[redqueen]

85. ...

:pals:

[Xipe Totec]

119. Thin skins wrinkle easily; don't waste your irony n/t

[Shakespeare]

122. Hey, congrats!

Way to take a cheap shot passive-aggressively. Well done.

[Xipe Totec]

123. Q.E.D. nt

[Shakespeare]

Just about the response I expected.

No more, no less. And why try to make a substantive point when a hyperbolic swipe will do the trick, eh? It's quite trendy these days. :patriot:

[Xipe Totec]

129. ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfaBsspAE7k

[Shakespeare]

121. Wow, you give up easy.

Yes, I assure you, I recognize the irony. Just trying to make an ancillary point about making us blondes the easy target in a way that often turns nasty and mean-spirited.

I just get supremely tired of it, and just picked your post to respond to to make my point because it was the most recent one I've seen. I'm sure if I go up to GD there'll be more, but I don't feel like wading through the internecine gargabe to find one. Sorry it aggravated you so.

[El Fuego]

81. Yeah, blondes with big breasts are people too!

Don't hate us because we're hot. :cry:

[RedCappedBandit]

113. They're really not

[bluethruandthru]

4. They are until you've had enough of the bad boy!

Sometimes a good boy would be just about the best thing ever!

[fudge stripe cookays]

127. Yup.

I was so happy when I found a good guy.

I was so freaked out I almost didn't know how to react when I was being courted rather than the other way around. They're better than gold!

[In_The_Wind]

5. It would feel rather silly to call a good boy, "Daddy".

[Sequoia]

6. Those pics look familiar...what's the movie?

Is this the movie where she was painting a room with her husband and the bad guy called and she went running outside to meet him? I saw that movie when I was around 12 or 13.

[begin_within]

11. No, there's no scene like that

the pictures are from "Au Hasard Balthazar" by Robert Bresson (1966) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060138/
She keeps going back to this juvenile delinquent thug who mistreats her and her pet, while her goody-two-shoes childhood sweetheart (the guy on the right) waits patiently for her and loves her deeply, yet she won't settle down with him and keeps going back to the sociopath.

[Sequoia]

32. Okay.

Now it's bugging me that I don't know the other movie, but I'll figure it out. In the movie I'm thinking of the bad guy was smooth and dressed nicely.

[TZ]

7. Not always

I hate bad boys. I love sweet men, but they have to be able to stand up for themselves.
I think a lot of women actually like what I would classify as non-wussy nice guys. Some prefer bad boys but not as many women as most people think.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear bob_weaver...

Because the bad boy is so much more exciting than the good one!:evilgrin:

[gmoney]

116. Yep, Peggy's right as usual...

It's about intensity of experience. The ones who go for the "bad boy" want the excitement and drama that a bad boy can offer. Whatever their reason (conscious or unconscious) is debatable and varies from person to person, but something in them imagines that everything willl be more exciting with the bad boy, not counting on the "wrong" kind of excitement most of the time.

[Deja Q]

9. Because evil always wins and good is dumb.

:shrug:

[JVS]

93. good one!

[applegrove]

10. The good boy is always the best.

[redqueen]

19. Amen!

GIRLS like bad boys.
WOMEN like nice boys (men).

[applegrove]

23. In the Philadelphia Story I wanted Kate to marry Jimmy Stewart. Happens

all the time.

[raccoon]

130. Well said! nt

[rucky]

12. That's why I've gone bipolar.

chicks dig me now.

[The Straight Story]

14. On one hand she wants security, on the other carefree adventure

A scripted life with one man, not so with the other.

Some cannot choose easily between a set life that is mapped out and managed and one where the day to day is different and not goal oriented (like working and saving for retirement and being very anal about versus saying fuck it we could die any day and I'll go with the flow and worry about all that stuff later).

Hell if know though, just guessing :)

[unpossibles]

16. wait, I'm confused

which one is into anal?

[billyskank]

26. Reminds me of a Chris Rock routine I saw on TV

Basically, good relationships are necessarily boring. Bad relationships are exciting. You never know what's going to happen next! But is excitement what you really want?

[TZ]

34. I would take a nice "boring" relationship in a minute!

Even when I was much younger than I am now!

[redqueen]

55. Hells yeah!

:hi:

[Mutley]

15. I like the good guys.

It just seems that I have trouble telling the good guys from the bad guys.

[liontamer]

17. the bad boy is usually hotter, that's why he can get away with being the bad boy

the good guy has learnt to cultivate his personality in an attempt to make up for this :P

[NewJeffCT]

20. Not always true - I think it's more an attitude

I knew this one guy that was the "bad boy" type in college and had a way with the ladies. He just acted like he didn't care most of the time... He wasn't bad looking, but was a bit pudgy and had a reputation for being "under-endowed" and often not able to perform because of his drug use. Yet, women still fell all over the guy.

[redqueen]

18. Only applies to immature people / primitive thinkers.

Same as the (sterotypical) brainless bimbo with the smokin bod.

[NewJeffCT]

25. There is one difference, though

If they don't marry the "bad boy", women usually grow out of their desire to have the bad boy. (I said usually - I know it does not always happen)

But, while some men grow out of their desire for the bimbo with the smokin' bod, I think the percentage who do is quite a bit lower than it is for women growing out of the bad boy syndrome.

Which is why you see a lot more of those actors (Fred Thompson) and captains of industry (Donald Trump) that have much younger wives than you do with powerful women hooking up with young "bad boys" for a fling or more.

[redqueen]

29. Hmmm... perhaps...

then again, perhaps the older women simply have the good sense not to flaunt their immaturity / primitive behavior. :)

[NewJeffCT]

36. good point

and probably correct. But that's probably part of the "growing out of it"

[pitohui]

21. because being passive-aggressive is highly unattractive

since your post is based on a movie i doubt it applies to you, but IRL the men who pretend that women are always attracted to "bad boys" are invariably passive-aggressive fuckwits

look around you and you'll see what i mean

a strong man, even if he has a blue collar job and a truck (or horrors a bike) so is "bad" by the standards of this society, is always going to be easier to be around and more attractive than a passive-aggressive metrosexual who thinks being self-involved and spending more time on product than on the relationship is in any way interesting to a red-blooded woman

[redqueen]

30. Now, now... the OP has a point

recent studies have backed up this age-old theory. Women DO want to nail the bad boys... and settle down with the nice ones.

It's all biology... nowhere NEAR rocket science.

[raccoon]

35. Yeah, right,

"recent studies have backed up this age-old theory. "

[redqueen]

37. What? You think I'm kidding?

Trust me, I'm not the one to automatically defend this crap. I can't stand this crap! But apparently... it holds at least a modicum of water. :)

[raccoon]

44. Yeah, it sounded good. :-) nt

[pitohui]

45. i'm with you raccoon

i think i'll believe my own lying eyes before i'm gong to believe some unknown "recent studies"

[Deja Q]

86. Or at least nail the bad boys and try to marry them and then gripe about abuse.

I concur, there is a logical, biological solution to the whole concept. It is about "aggression" and not "passivity" or "passive-aggressive". Such patterns are repeatable throughout the animal kingdom and it is not too far off the mark of the human realm as well.

Ironically, it also makes us - as a species - less evolved than we give ourselves credit for. But who would be surprised on hearing that?

[redqueen]

87. Surely I would not!

It's sad, it is.

[NashVegas]

22. Because He's Closeted Gay

Just a thought.

Other answer - because the bad boy doesn't have any "polite" hang-ups preventing him from letting the girl know he finds her sexually desirable.

[billyskank]

24. Damn my polite hang-ups.

:(

[NashVegas]

57. Okay, Mister Nice Guy

What are the things you do that indicate you *are* a nice guy.

ie, define nice for us in positive terms and actions.

[billyskank]

60. I'm not a nice guy

Whatever my problems are, it's not because I'm too nice.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

27. For real, yo

When you're the one kindest and there the most, you get ignored

[redqueen]

31. *sigh*

Find an older woman... she'll show ya. :hi:

[xchrom]

33. cause, damn it -- you don't have to show the bad boy what the fuck to do!

if good boys could ever figure out how to move in for the kill -- WITH CONFIDENCE -- it wouldn't be that way.

but until that day comes...

[redqueen]

39. See, that's exactly what I call primitive thinking.

Why should HE have to do the moving in?

I'm quite happy being the aggressive party, and showing the other person the ropes. :D

[Starbucks Anarchist]

58. Damnit, why don't you live around here?

:P

[redqueen]

66. Bad luck?

:P

[xchrom]

59. lol -- are you flirting with me?

[redqueen]

67. If I was, you'd know it.

:evilgrin:

[xchrom]

69. lol -- bad redqueen -- bad!!!

:evilgrin: :spank:

[TZ]

49. Actually I kind of like being the aggressor in some ways

because I have had way too much of trying to fend off advances from guys I wasn't really attracted to. Truly nice guys are going to be encouraging without being overly pushy....:hi:

[xchrom]

61. hey you!!!

:hi: :pals: :hi:

[TZ]

73. Hi!

Posting from my shiny new job! Don't have much to do until I can get my training done -have to wait to do the exciting blood born pathogen class which I could probably teach now I have had it so many times!:hi:

[raccoon]

131. You and me both, sister. nt

[raccoon]

38. Only if the woman is immature, or else from such a dysfunctional background

that she feels comfortable with the "bad guy" because that's the kind of guy she's used to.

[billyskank]

40. "from such a dysfunctional background"

There's certainly no lack of those people around...

[redqueen]

41. Disagree...

the "bad guy", in primitive times, would have been pegged without thoughtful consideration as the better provider, cause he could fend off attackers.

IMO it's all biology.

[raccoon]

50. Disagree. Bad guys are not usually the good providers. nt

[redqueen]

54. I didn't say they were.

I said in primitive times that the bad guy would have been viewed a better protector (provider). Tough, aggressive = better protection.

See?

[raccoon]

65. You're saying that the "bad guy" is automatically stronger, and/or

more willing to be aggressive to protect a woman.

Not in my effing experience!!!!

No, I don't see and you didn't state it very clearly.

[redqueen]

68. Of course not... this primitive response thing has NOTHING

to do with rational thought, or reality.

Only the type of 'thinking' that passed for thinking when we'd barely got out of the trees.

[NewJeffCT]

62. I don't think its all biology

As I said above, there was one "bad guy" I knew pretty well from college because he was a good friend of a good friend of mine.

He was a decent looking guy, but was on the pudgy side physically. Not fat, but doughy. But, he really thought he was hot shit and carried himself like he was hot shit and women fell all over him.

This was despite many of them knowing about his reputation for being "under-endowed" and often not able to perform in bed because of his drug use. And, he also treated women pretty crappily, too. At one party, he was sitting on a sofa with some girl that was loosely his girlfriend at the time. They had a blanket across their laps and he pushed her head under the blanket in a crowded apartment. Now, it wasn't a rough push down, and he certainly didn't hold her head down there...but, just the fact that he did it was pretty disgusting to me.

[redqueen]

64. Fits right in with the biology theory.

His seeming arrogance conveys an "I'm the Shiznit" attitude that our lizard brains are receptive to. I've known older women who should know better who fall for the same crap. Educated women that you would THINK would know better.

But they were thinking with their lady parts / lizard brains.

[NewJeffCT]

70. Good point again

Sometimes, I forget that. I've also met some very intelligent women who have done some dumb things with men... (I'm sure my wife feels that way sometimes, too!)

[JVS]

92. Dysfunctional background? That's like 90% of people

[raccoon]

132. Strongly disagree. Degree of dysfunction is a continuum.

No family is 100% functional. Some are slightly dysfunctional, some extremely.

Unfortunately the word is dysfunctional is tossed around way too much nowadays.

[Shakespeare]

42. Because too often "nice guy" is a euphemism for "boring as hell"

If you're a nice guy who's also intelligent and interesting and funny, then you've got it all over the bad boys.

[NewJeffCT]

78. good point

I was the "nice guy" all the time. But, I'm sure I came across as boring to a lot of women. Maybe not "boring as hell" all the time but I was very shy when I was younger (voted "Shyest" in both my junior high school 8th grade class and then again in my high school class) and I don't think a lot of women wanted to make the effort to bring me out of my shell. Because, when you're that shy, it would have taken an effort to do it.

And, no it wasn't because I wanted a certain type of "hot" girl - I think if just about any reasonably intelligent girl in high school, or young woman in college, had actually introduced herself to me and tried to speak with me, they would have found a nice, quiet guy with a dry & sarcastic sense of humor who was also a good listener and tried to treat them really nicely (of course, I might have fainted if a woman actually did try to talk to me... but, after I woke up, I mean)

And, oddly enough, I ended up marrying the first woman that really did introduce herself to me and tried to speak with me (well, she did a lot of speaking and I did a lot of listening!) And, she really initiated most of the relationship. But, we ended up divorcing after less than a year of marriage.

[elehhhhna]

46. Because we confuse the excitement of Danger w/ the excitement of

"being in love"

[wavesofeuphoria]

47. Just maybe the bad boy isn't as bad as you think ....

[raccoon]

51. Another opinion from Usenet,

….many of the guys arguing for the "women don't date nice guys" are not
interested in dating any ole "nice girl." They want to date a hot babe. Now, the hot babe who has got herself all together really *can* land the guy who is "all that, and a bag of chips." (i.e., a hot guy who has it all together--mazel tov, you beautiful and together couple!) So, for the guy who is merely "all that" but not "the bag of chips" (or the "bag of chips," but not really "all that"), the best shot at getting a hot babe is to go for the hot-but-messed-up babe. Messed up women *do* often date jerks (that I will definitely conceed). So, in a nutshell, why do these guys get their undies all in a wad about the messed up women who date jerks? Because maybe their only chance with a hot babe is with such types of "damaged goods."

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.marriage/browse_thread/thread/aacf8cf51f8faef6/d19767f6c329b15b?lnk=gst&q=mazel+tov&rnum=1#d19767f6c329b15b

[YellowRubberDuckie]

52. Because a lot of women enjoy being treated like shit.

At least that was my theory for my sister. :shrug:
Duckie

[Maddy McCall]

53. How many DU old-timers remember the "bad boy" lounge wars from a couple years ago?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3689948

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3696485

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3695137

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3695521

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3696114

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3690767

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3694258

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3692826

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3699008

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3696349

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3694713

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3669106

It was started by ColoradoDem2005 insisting that he couldn't find love because women only like bad boys, not nice guys like him. Wonder whatever happened to that guy?

[redqueen]

56. UGH! Yes I do...

This myth has to DIE.

It's frickin sickening.

[TZ]

71. Yes. I hate this myth with a passion

but I think somebody on this thread hit it right on the head when they say the guys who complain about this usually are the ones who can't get the "hot babe" and who use the code phrase "she has a nice personality" to refer to women who aren't exactly "hot babes" and they turn up their noses to!(like me, I have shall we say some extra curves).:mad:

[redqueen]

72. Oooh.... EXCELLENT point!

TONS of very nice guys who seem to only be interested in ONE kind of female.

Kinda like the women who cry about not being able to find that super hot doctor! :rofl:

[Maddy McCall]

75. Even more sickening...

is when women subscribe to it, too.

:grr:

[redqueen]

76. Oh you got that right, sister!

But I see that so often, I've grown sort of accustomed to it.

*sigh*

:(

[Maddy McCall]

79. If...

you really want to be disgusted, look at post 77.

[Shakespeare]

63. LOL...yeah, I remember that.

Aside from being a euphemism for "boring," "nice guy" often means (as we saw with that poster) a whining, clingy emotional black hole. :scared:

[Maddy McCall]

74. Do a search on his user name from...

say, January 2005 through August 2005. Do an archive search with just his user name, no search term, and check the box so that just the threads he started come up.

I just did, when I was trying to remember what post of his set off the whole bad-boy war. I found that it wasn't any single post....but a cumulative thing. Good god, that guy was pitiful.

"Maybe if I post some Van Halen lyrics, it'll turn the girls on." :rofl:

[Deja Q]

101. Ranks right up there with Fried Chicken at Olive Garden being eaten by a breastfeeding Rachel Ray

:hide:

[Maddy McCall]

109. Absolutely.

:rofl:

:hi:

[Wetzelbill]

124. there was one started in the Feminist Forum too

By my late dear friend Alarcojon. The nicest guy ever, and, wow, did he ever catch a beating because of it. Consequently I never stopped teasing him about it. :)

[pokerfan]

77. It's a marketing decision

Bear with me.

Like when Cartman inherits a million bucks and buys an amusement park so he could ride all the rides by himself. By closing the park he made it so inclusive that demand shot through the roof. He had to start letting in small groups of people to pay for security and maintenance. When he finally gets frustrated with having to share his park with others and is forced to sell it back to the original owner, the park is much more successful than ever before.

My point is that I think too many times "nice guys" are **perceived** as pushovers. And who wants anything easy?

Can't believe that I'm about to quote that asshole Mike Damone from Ridgemont High but here goes: "The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude."

It's called playing hard to get. Now I'm not saying that the secret is treating people like shit but there is perhaps some wisdom in that quote. In spite of how loathsome that character was in every other aspect.

I remember once in college I was being heavily pursued by a woman who was nice and intelligent but for some reason it was kind of a turnoff. I had my eyes on someone else who was being heavily pursued by someone else. We started dating and remained a couple until we graduated and remain friends today. But I often wonder about that other girl who was perfectly nice and much more available.

Maybe we humans just don't value things that come easy.

Then there's the time when my gf of two years dumped me as soon as her ex bf got released from prison for robbery and assault. And oh yeah, he used to beat the hell of her.

So go figure.

[redqueen]

80. Could not disagree more strongly.

You're describing head games... and yeah, some love them, and love to play them. For those that do... have at it. Keeps them away from people who aren't interested in high school/college age BS.

:hi:

[pokerfan]

82. Not really

I'm just describing what I perceive to be part of human nature.

[redqueen]

83. Head games are not human nature.

That's learned behavior.

[pokerfan]

90. Who was playing a head game in my situation

For whatever reason I was not attracted to the first girl perhaps because of her aggressive pursuit. I wasn't feigning disinterest in her and I don't think she was feigning interest in me.

I remember about a year ago a self described nice guy posted that he had taken a woman on a date, paid for everything, opened doors for her, etc. And he wanted an explanation from her why she didn't want to pursue the relationship any further. This self professed nice guy felt that he was owed an explanation because he had paid for everything. Well, who knows, maybe she just wasn't attracted to him for whatever reason. So he got the "you're a nice guy, but..." response which only infuriated him more. The general response here (correct in my opinion) was that his demands were totally inappropriate for a first date.

I don't think people even fully comprehend what makes them attracted to one person and not another. Once things get beyond attraction and progress towards friendship and love, then sure, by that point you will have cognitive reasons. But initial attraction is about the chemistry.

[redqueen]

94. If someone is interested, and acts like they're not...

that whole "treat them mean to keep them keen" thing... that's a head game.

I don't know if that's what was going on... but responsiveness to that crap is also a head game.

You wanna play, play. No skin off my nose.

As for me, if someone's not interested... NEXT! :7

[pokerfan]

95. We are in agreement then

[Lydia Leftcoast]

112. Most men and women have NO IDEA what is attractive to the opposite sex

I have often been mystified hearing men talk about how "hot" a certain woman is, when to me she is quite average in both looks and personality.

Yet I've also heard men being mystified about why a certain man who is not conventionally good-looking is a regular woman-magnet.

I can explain the woman-magnets. They're comfortable with themselves, are interesting to talk to, and don't limit themselves by accepting the conventional male straitjacket (You know, "real men don't...").

My major complaint about straight men, especially middle-aged ones (i.e. my age group)is that they're BORING.

Movie star looks, perfect manners, oodles of money, none of that will impress me if the guy has no interests outside work and sports, believes conventional wisdom without question, and thinks that's just fine.

[JVS]

88. She enjoys snorting coke off of his genitals, that's why!

And dude, you're going to be flamed

[hyphenate]

89. An age-old question

It's up there with such things as:

Why don't the victims in all those slash&hack movies have a gun?

How the hell did Brittany Spears end up rich from her lack of talent?

Why is it that celebrity men still are ogled when they're old and jowly, and women over 50 need to have hair waxing, plastic surgery and other horrendous "beauty treatments" just to get the next role?

Why is it always the guy in the white hat who is the hero in old westerns?

Did the Lone Ranger actually have a "thing" for his horse?

Why do we always eat the foods that are the worst for our diets?

Why do we have eggs and bacon or ceral for breakfast, instead of spaghetti and meatballs?

Why is it that cable companies always have the absolute worst customer service?


I'm sure there are plenty of others.

[JVS]

91. Bob, I'm surprised by the level of defensiveness shown by some women on this thread. You must...

have hit a nerve! ;-)

:hide:

[TZ]

99. Some of us don't like stereotypes

Simple enough for you?

[JVS]

102. Then why do you spread a stereotype in your post 71.

By the way, in case you couldn't tell the ;-) and :hide: is an indicator that the post was meant in a tongue and cheek fashion.

[TZ]

108. Because that has been MY PERSONAL experience

In more than one case. I have been called and treated that way....

[JVS]

111. Personal experience is the nursery of stereotypes

x happened to me at the hands of y (an element of the set Y), thus for all p contained in Y, p does X.

[TZ]

136. so then

my personal experiences count for nothing? Thats rather condescending don't you think? Kind of like saying "what do you know, you are only one silly girl".

[JVS]

138. You're only one person and one person taking his or her experience and generalizing it...

is what stereotyping is, in fact even if a lot of people have the experience it's still a generalization/stereotype. Nice of you to try to put words in my mouth by writing "what do you know, you are only one silly girl" though.

[begin_within]

107. I had no idea it would turn into this. I certainly doesn't reflect all women, just some

women and some gay men. And probably a lot of straight men and gay women are attracted to "bad girls" but probably just for kicks.

[devilgrrl]

96. Why do the "Good" boys always demand the hottest/prettiest girls?

Perhaps you'd get some if your standards weren't so high.

[JVS]

106. If you're going to miss anyway, why not aim for the stars?

Better to be rejected by a godess than a troll-like creature :shrug:

[devilgrrl]

114. Maybe if they were as attractive as what they demanded they wouldn't get rejected.

:shrug:

Why should a broad settle for a toad?

[JVS]

115. if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry christmas

you have apoint, but it isn't the logic that is actually being followed. it's related to the "go down swinging" ethos of baseball

[Wapsie B]

97. Goodness.......I was wondering when a thread like this would come up again.

It was about time I guess.

[redqueen]

98. More parents need to talk to their kids about this crap!

:rofl:

[Wapsie B]

100. I agree.

Couldn't agree more

:rofl:

[JVS]

103. There should be a heart to heart about girls who have VD because they hung out with bad boys.

Meanwhile the nice-guys should be told to avoid girls who liked bad-boys because they have VD now and associating with them will cause their penises to fester with sores before ultimately falling off.

[redqueen]

104. ...

:rofl:

Well... not quite what I had in mind, but... okay! :hi:

[Deja Q]

105. Sounds lovely.

:hurts:

:hide:

[raccoon]

133. Yeah, like "good" people don't carry STDs? LOL! nt

[Downtown Hound]

110. I think the same is true for men also

men tend to fantasize about the bad girl too, it's just that people are more likely to call her a slut than a bad girl. A double standard, but society is full of them. Anyways, the bad girl/boy ignite our passions because they are supposedly free of the rules, or above them (I know that's not always true, it's just that that's how we think of it). There's always a part of us that wants to say, "Fuck this shit!" and just run with where our passions take us.

But at some point, the allure of that wears off, and then we search for the good girl/boy to settle down with. But the good boy/girl is always a reminder of our responsibilities, and therefore, there's always the allure of that sexy bad boy or girl that will take you away from all the conformity and let your inner demon ride.

[lost-in-nj]

117. I dated 2 "bad Boys"

one was actually hiding from the cops. so when he called ME I felt special
and yeah the adreniline rush is awesome....

lost

[begin_within]

118. Who here hasn't fallen at least once in the glamour/excitement/sexy trap?

I sure have.

[Joe Fields]

120. you know what Cyndi Lauper used to say....

girls just want to have fun...

[JVS]

125. That dude on the right is lame. By letting her cry on his shoulder, he's just cleaning up Alan...

Alda's messes. He should be a real man and tell her to get lost or put out.

[Wetzelbill]

126. people have nearly been killed around here for asking that

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

128. I'm thinking that you want to marry the good boy....

And go to bed with the bad one!

:bounce: :bounce:

[qdemn7]

134. As a woman once told me....

"Nice guys are BORING." Take that as you wil.

[My Good Babushka]

135. This question has come up on another forum I visit

and a young woman answered "because Crime is Beauty". I've been thinking about that, and I think she might be right. There is the "natural" progression of dating and mating and settling down, and then there is something baroque and dramatic about the extra twists and plots and jackboots to the jaw that a bad boy provides. If one can be detached enough from one's immediate biological drive- which is what being a human being is all about, going beyond biological necessity- you end up with a range of deviations and artistic interpretations to mating.

[Wapsie B]

137. Natural progression of dating. That's interesting.

Could you expand on that?

And a belated "Welcome to DU"!!

[My Good Babushka]

140. People meet

get to know each other, like each other, and make a commitment to mate. Everything added to that, be it wining and dining and romancing, or dramatic fights, doublecrosses, clothes thrown out the window- is all the art that is superadded to the necessity of mating. I guess it depends on a person's temperament as to what they prefer.

[redqueen]

139. crime is beauty?

that's one of the stupidest things i've ever heard

[My Good Babushka]

141. sorry

but I think a crime can be committed very artfully. Safecrackers artfully circumvent a lock, a getaway car can be artfully maneuvered. Crime caper movies are very popular.

[wildhorses]

142. it isn't --

not for long, anyway. the fireworks are bright but, the show is over very quickly. the candle in the window burns slow and steady and shows you the way home.