I can't "manscape", so I decided to name my chest hairs

[sangha]

(This is a reprint of one the few attempts at creative writing I've made. Originally written in Aug 2003)

Having little body hair, "manscaping" is not an option for me, so instead of manscaping, I've decided to name my chest hairs. All eight of them.

On the left side we have John, Dennis, and Al, in the middle we have Bob, John, and Dick and on the right we have Joe and Howard.

Joe has little color to him, but is very straight and stiff. Howard is quite colorful but is very sensitive to any criticism. When criticized, he rounds up his spirited friends, the pubes, and they scream their support.

Bob and John are southerners. They are almost stomach hair, and not chest hair, and as a result, are often overlooked. Dick is the most curious one of all. Sometimes, he appears to be moving towards the right, in an effort to "stand" right next to Joe. Other times, he seems to be moving to the left, possibly in an effort to unite with my underarm hairs, who tend to work hard.

John, Dennis, and Al are my favorites. Al is the biggest and most colorful of the chest hairs. He gets all the attention. Dennis has done a fine job (for a chest hair) but I rarely pay attention to him. I suspect he won't be around for much longer. John has been pretty quiet lately, but he has a long history of identifying the dirty hairs.