Dubya Hunting Joke

[jmowreader]

Secretary of the Interior Kempthorne invited Shrub to go elk hunting in Kempthorne's native Idaho. Bush thought this a great idea, so he bought orange clothes, a rifle, some boots and lots of camping gear. They boarded Air Force One and headed to North Idaho, where Kempthorne knew of some great elk territory.

Shrub and Dirk are in the St. Joe Basin looking for the wily elk when Shrub thought he heard a big one coming through the underbrush. He got buck fever and fired off all the rounds in his rifle. The next sound was Kempthorne screaming, "You shot me, you fucking idiot!"

Bush immediately went into "what do I do now?" mode. He grabbed his cell phone to try to call Condi--cell phones don't work up the Joe. He looked for Secret Service agents...they all fled when they saw Bush take his rifle off his shoulder. After about five minutes of this, Kempthorne yelled at Bush, "look, dipshit, get me to a fucking doctor. Are you THAT stupid?"

Shrub threw Kempthorne in the back of their pickup and drove to St. Maries just as fast as he possibly could. He got to the hospital emergency room, ran in and started screaming, "Come quick! My friend's been shot! You gotta help him!"

Two hours later, the doctor met Bush in the waiting room.

"Doctor! Can you save him?"

'I think we can save him, Mr. President. We'll fly him to Sacred Heart Hospital, the best hospital in Spokane, where he'll undergo months of surgeries and years of painful rehabilitation. He's got good insurance, so the bills won't kill him. But he's strong, he's not all that old, and they have the best doctors, so he should be okay. We hope. I'll give him a 75-percent chance of survival and a 40-percent chance of a full recovery.'

"Oh, thank you, Doctor. You just made me breathe easier."

'Maybe not. The sheriff would like to speak with you. See, you shot him in the foot. If you wouldn't have gutted and skinned him, we would have just bandaged him up and sent him home."

[DS1]

1. yuck