Let's start urban myths that asshole paranoid shitbrained parents will accept as truth

[Rabrrrrrr]

Like the urban myths about drug dealers disguising LSD as "fun tattoo stickers" and handing them out free and willy nilly at elementary schools. I remember my mom being upset and sure of the truth of it - because some of the women at her factory had FAXES ABOUT IT as proof.

So here's my new one:

Homosexuals announce themselves by plugging their laptops into the BOTTOM outlet at coffee shops. By being plugged into the bottom outlet, that means they are on the prowl for sex, whether with another man or preferably a boy child.

Also, if someone has their laptop plugged into the TOP outlet, that means they are dealing drugs, and will also find a way to give your child some drugs FOR FREE to get them hooked. Probably they will put drugs in your child's drink when you go to the bathroom.

NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNATTENDED IN A COFFEE SHOP!!! THEY WILL EITHER BE RAPED BY A GAY OR GIVEN DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And folks, I know this is true because my aunt sent me a letter about a guy she knows who heard from a businessman, who travels all over the world, that he SAW IT HAPPEN. He watched helplessly while an entire coffee shop of patrons stood idly by in abject horror and sickness while a boy was raped by a gay, until finally a good solid Christian woman prayed and made it stop, but not until after the boy was SCARRED FOR LIFE. The same businessman was also in another coffee shop when he witnessed a top-outlet using laptop owner pour a packet of something into a small girl child's drink. A week later, she was in prison for killing her parents and for theft, after robbing a jewelery store, trying to support a $100,000 a week cocaine habit. She was six years old. AND SHE RENOUNCED JESUS AT HER TRIAL AT THE ADVICE OF HER ACLU-SUPPLIED LAWYER!!!!!!! NO LIE.

Send this note to ten people if you love Jesus. AND THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!!! ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE IS USING THE BOTTOM OUTLET, OR THE TOP OUTLET, FOR A LAPTOP IN A COFFEE SHOP!!!!!!!!!!





How's that for a start?

[Left Is Write]

1. Studies have shown that breastfeeding causes liberalism.

[unpossibles]

2. I heard that eating chili with a spoon means you're secretly gay

I just want to see how many will start using a fork.

When I was younger I wanted to start a stupid trend somehow - like get 20 or 30 people to go into trendy bars in small groups of 2-4 people wearing something completely stupid. The first group will be made fun of, the second snickered at, etc.

Eventually the trendy folks might start to wonder if it's cool if enough people are wearing whatever it is. This would work best if you have at least a few "hot," "rich," or "popular" people in on the gag I think. I wonder if this is how the mullet started.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Terrorists wear read on Fridays!!

IF YOU SEE SOMEONE IN RED ON A FRIDAY, CALL HOMELAND SECURITY!!!!!!!

[Oeditpus Rex]

4. Every fifth pack of Big Red gum

has a condom in it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Condoms are in them because BIG RED is a company run by Satan worshipers.

Hence the name BIG RED.

[LSK]

5. people who drive blue Fords all eventually die in horrible fishing accidents

:popcorn:

[bamacrat]

6. Marijuana is more harmful than tobacco and alcohol.

Just dumb.

[unpossibles]

8. ok, one of the rumors that I absolutely hate

my mother in law has said to me many times that she's heard MJ makes men have boobs.

Ok, as someone who grew up pretty fat and who now has boobs that were there when I got skinny, and are still there when I got to a fairly normal weight, and who has heard boob jokes all my life, I want to tell her to shut the hell up.

I usually just say, "no, being fat as a kid gave me man boobs." If I were as rude as she is, I would say, "so why is your ass so fat?" but I don't.

</rant>

[Withywindle]

9. Child safety seats...

...can make little boys gay. It's the way the straps rub.

The laptop plug-in example is BRILLIANT.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. LOL! Perfect! YES! The whole car safety seat industry is part of the gay agenda!!

[LSK]

11. rainbows come from psychotropic chemicals in the atmosphere

put in aircraft emissions by the corporate world government to keep us docile

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6488662&mesg_id=6488693

[av8rdave]

12. This one actually circulated where I went to college in the 70s

May as well ressurect it.

Guy who part their hair in the middle are weed smokers.