I've been having these episodes of PTSD recently...

[Writer]

these flashbacks. Or I'm reliving moments. Moments of cruelty by parents, siblings, and more, where my right to feel good is simply negated by their destructive behavior (like the dementors in the Harry Potter series - those that suck all joy from life.) It's tough - it starts as a single thought then it spreads. However, I'm in control of it. There are many in my life who have shown me care and simply thinking of them calms me.

There are people out there who are morally bankrupt. Who simply do not possess the ability to gauge right from wrong. They are far more plentiful in the world than we think. Individuals that have evaded societal or personal castigation for their actions but, if you are the believing type, will likely go to hell.

I suppose what I'm trying to write here is that those individuals, a few of whom were among those closest to me, do not have control over my life. And they never will, no matter how hard they try.

:)

[crim son]

1. You are correct - they do not have control over your li fe

but to feel as though they do, momentarily, is normal and human if horrifying. The more you turn to yourself for strength the easier it will become to be strong because all the answers are within you. Obviously you recognize this. :D

[Writer]

4. Yes, growing up I was the only person I could turn to for strength,

so I learned very early on how to find strength in myself. I suppose, in a strange way, that was a good thing.

Personally, I do wish that more could identify a poisonous person before their lives are affected. I grew up with poisonous people, so I can identify them, but I have a few friends who have been broadsided in their adult years, not able to fathom how an individual can be so destructive.

[datasuspect]

2. i have bouts of "near shut down"

and "thousand yard stare."

you could be in a room full of people with activity all around you and just feel like your soul is collapsing into itself.

and then WHOOOSH! it disappears.

[Writer]

3. I have a thought, then I suddenly "come to"

and catch my breath. I take a moment to recollect myself, then I move on. Yes it is momentary.

[taterguy]

5. Living well is the best revenge

That may or may not be true but it seems like you're doing that.

[Writer]

6. LOL

I share that philosophy. Absolutely. And I do my best to put that into practice.

BTW: How's your cycling?

[taterguy]

7. My cycling's going great

Further

Faster

New places to explore and ponder

Life is good