Conundrums

[SoCalDem]

In the show 'The Brady Bunch', if Mike Brady was such a great architect why did they have 6 kids and only one bathroom?

How come no one ever pays on 'Cheers'?

Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?

How come in the movies a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in pain when a woman tries to clean his wounds?

Why don't people who believe in re-incarnation leave all their money to themselves?

If you filled your toilet with water from the Bermuda Triangle, would that eliminate the need to flush?

How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?

When Jesus was a baby did he crawl on water?

Why aren't there any 'Grand MOTHER Clocks'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

When flying on an airplane and your pilot's name is Jack can you say 'Hi' to him?

If Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, then why does it make me feel so much smarter?

If Dracula can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?

Why do so many blondes dye their roots dark?

If a bald person had a bad hair day, how could they tell?

Can people who live on houseboats get flood insurance?

If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter what are girl scout cookies made with?

If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?

Why do people who are against deforestation, have paper signs on wooden posts?

Why does 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?

Will used Nicorette patches help me with second hand smoke?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear SoCalDem...

These are priceless!

And ... unanswerable as well....

Thank you!

:hug:

[SoCalDem]

2. Thanks.. found it online a long time ago..

Of course I forgot where I found it :eyes:

[Left Brain]

3. If the plural for mouse is "mice,"

why isn't the plural for blouse "blice"?

ponderous...

[SeattleGirl]

4. Some answers:

In the show 'The Brady Bunch', if Mike Brady was such a great architect why did they have 6 kids and only one bathroom?
*Because people like the Bradys don't have to use the bathroom. Only Archie Bunker did that.

How come no one ever pays on 'Cheers'?
*Because Sam is a recovering alcoholic, and hopes that by letting his customers drink without the limit of the purse, he will stay sober by watching his pals puke their guts out.

Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?
*See the answer to the first question regarding the Bradys.

How come in the movies a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in pain when a woman tries to clean his wounds?
*He's trying to get her into bed by showing his "sensitive" side.

Why don't people who believe in re-incarnation leave all their money to themselves?
*Believing in reincarnation doesn't mean you are financially astute.

If you filled your toilet with water from the Bermuda Triangle, would that eliminate the need to flush?
*Of course! At least, that's what the plumber told me!

How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
*Have you ever been driving on the same street as a pizza delivery driver?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
*No, they tell him he has the right to speak.

Can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?
*Hey, why not? The cops would have to provide a house for the homeless person!

When Jesus was a baby did he crawl on water?
*No. He used a Slippery Slide.

Why aren't there any 'Grand MOTHER Clocks'?
*There used to be, in ancient civilizations, but then the men took over, and well....

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
*Testicles?

When flying on an airplane and your pilot's name is Jack can you say 'Hi' to him?
*In this day and age, who's gonna try that?

If Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, then why does it make me feel so much smarter?
*You have to ask?

If Dracula can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?
*Vampira is his hair stylist.

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
*Good suggestion!

Why do so many blondes dye their roots dark?
*To remind them of when it's time for a tune-up.

If a bald person had a bad hair day, how could they tell?
*Their skull droops on one side.

Can people who live on houseboats get flood insurance?
*Yup. And people who live in treehouses can get insurance against woodpeckers.

If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter what are girl scout cookies made with?
*You really don't want to know.

If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
*What do you think they do with the stuff in the diapers?

Why do people who are against deforestation, have paper signs on wooden posts?
*See my answer to why people who believe in reincarnation don't leave money to themselves.

Why does 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
*Depends on the weight of the person to whom you are speaking.

Will used Nicorette patches help me with second hand smoke?
*I'm not sure. Why don't you give it a try?

[SPKrazy]

5. The correct answers follow

In the show 'The Brady Bunch', if Mike Brady was such a great architect why did they have 6 kids and only one bathroom?
-they didn't need more than one bathroom for 6 kids, and it had 2 doors, one from the boys, and one from the girls. They all shared rooms too. He wasn't a good architect evidently.

How come no one ever pays on 'Cheers'?
-it was subsidized by the alcoholic beverage industry

Where are the toilets on the U.S.S. Enterprise?
-Starships suck the waste right out of you without needing a toilet

How come in the movies a man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in pain when a woman tries to clean his wounds?
-Cause it's okay to wince around women, then they might treat you better, but if you wince during a beating, yer dead.

Why don't people who believe in re-incarnation leave all their money to themselves?
-because they won't be themselves in a new incarnation silly.

If you filled your toilet with water from the Bermuda Triangle, would that eliminate the need to flush?
-your toilet would disappear so you couldn't flush

How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
-the police stopped the pizza car and are eating someone's pizza right now.

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
-they tell him that he (in mime language) has the right to remain silent

Can you sentence a homeless person to house arrest?
-houseless arrest

When Jesus was a baby did he crawl on water?
- no, he didn't crawl on water, he sank until he learned to walk
Why aren't there any 'Grand MOTHER Clocks'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
-testical

When flying on an airplane and your pilot's name is Jack can you say 'Hi' to him?
-yes, not in the same sentence though

If Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, then why does it make me feel so much smarter?
-Jerry has the purpose in life of making you feel smarter

If Dracula can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?
-his hair is plastic

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"?
-why not eyestaches?

Why do so many blondes dye their roots dark?
-good question, got nothing

If a bald person had a bad hair day, how could they tell?
-it ain't on their head I guess

Can people who live on houseboats get flood insurance?
-no, they can get dry land insurance

If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter what are girl scout cookies made with?
-girl scouts?

If olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made from?
-baby olives

Why do people who are against deforestation, have paper signs on wooden posts?
-dunno that one? :shrug:

Why does 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
-it doesn't really, the term fat chance and slim chance are different in meaning altogether.

:shrug:

Will used Nicorette patches help me with second hand smoke?