Georgie and Dickie Jokes

[frogcycle]

LOGIC
Georgie and Dickie were sitting on a bench talking....... and Dickie says to Georgie, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?"
Georgie turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
Georgeie pushes his BMW into a gas station. He tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
Georgeie says, "What's the story?"
The mechanic replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
Georgeie asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops Georgeie for speeding and asks him very nicely if he could see his license.
Georgeie replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
Dickie goes out for a walk. He comes to a river and sees Georgie on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" Dickie shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
Georgie looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
Georgie goes into the doctor's office disguised as Dickie and says that his body hurt wherever he touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
Georgie takes his finger, pushes on his left elbow and screams, then he pushed his chest and screams even more. He pushes his knee and screams; likewise he pushes his ankle and screams. Everywhere he touches makes him scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really Dickie, are you?
"Well, no" he said, "I'm actually Georgie."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the Georgie is behind the wheel knitting! Realizing that he was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" Georgie yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

Georgie ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and Georgie were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
Georgie said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which Georgie replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM
Georgie was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was his turn. He rolled the dice and he landed on Science & Nature. His question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
He thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Dickie was visiting Georgie, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked him what their names were. Georgie responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Dickie said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered Georgie. "They're watch dogs!"

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. ROFLMAO.

:rofl::rofl: