|
Don't panic! - it's just my twisted fantasy for a new Friday sitcom about everybody's favorite anorexic
EPISODE 1: Ann is caught in a compromising position working on Rush Limbaugh's undercarriage in his dressing room before his afternoon Clear Channel rant. Caught red-handed, she explains that she was simply applying copious amounts of soothing Christian ointment to Captain Vicodin's nagging anal cysts. Hilarity ensues...
EPISODE 2: Ann is invited to a lingerie and “loverware” party at Laura Schlessinger’s upper east side residence. She shows to discover she’s the only invitee to show up. Ann and Laura share a box of Gallo Peach Chardonnay and discuss their lives and dreams and disparage liberals and democrats. Things heat up when Ann broaches the subject of the “homosexual agenda”. When Schlessinger admits to having an unnerving attraction to Ann’s adams apple – Ann confesses a strange fascination to the sexual proclivities of the modern conservative Jewess. When Coulter bashfully inquires as to which loverware “toy” Jesus would use, the two come to a shocking realization and the episode comes to a climax you won’t soon forget! Hilarity ensues...
EPISODE 3: Ann takes her Hummer H2 to the shop to have some repairs done after “accidentally” running over a group of cyclists on Constitution AVenue who expressed their opinion of her vehicle and driving ability. When presented with the repair bill, an enraged Coulter confronts the service manager, demanding to know if he thinks he can pull a fast one “just because I’m a WOMAN?” The service manager is throttled into unconsciousness when, unable to reconcile Coulter’s adams apple and trademark man-hands, expresses genuine shock at the term WOMAN. Hilarity ensues...
|