Man, how long does it take to get over a relationship?

[HEyHEY]

Jesus H. Christ... so for WEEKS, I'm fine. Then, last night, cause I had nothing to do... I start freaking out cause I know Amy (the ex)is at a party in PG. She's been to many of them before. So, I shouldn't care. But I just couldn't sleep. I got all worried she was gonna meet some guy or something, which I know won't happen cause she's avoiding men intentionally with a ten foot pole now.
Then I woke up all depressed. What is with that? I mean, I've been getting around since this all ended and you'd think that would help. My friend Jen says I still love her, obviously, or else why would I spend so much time loking for cheap sex?
My other friend, Tracy, thinks it's the opposite. She says if I still loved her I wouldn't want anything to do with other girls.
And in the "relationship" sense that's true. I'm scared to death of commitment now.
It all really sucks. My roomie says there's no explaination, it'll just happen sometimes.
I'm totally getting drunk tonight.
It's been like three fucking months... what the fuck?

[SPKrazy]

1. d00d...

grief sucks... necessary that it seems to be, it still SUCKS

i don't know if you are in love or not, but you have had a loss

and grief can suck for a long time

sometimes one has to find a different focus, but not a substitute...

:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

2. how old are you? how long did this relationship last? and how much luck have you had w.girls since?

these things generally determine how long a mourning period is...

[HEyHEY]

4. I'm 28 years old

The length of time we were together is undetermined... but we met last April and began dating a few months after. Then in like.... I don't know.. december (We'll say) things officially ended. We get along great, she just is dealing with some FUCKED UP metal shit and can't be with me.
And I've had ALOT of louck with the ladies since... Only cause I was like DETERMINED to do so. Being a male whore is fun and all, but it just ain't helping.

[LeftyMom]

3. Every relationship changes you.

You'll never be over it in the sense of being who you were before. How long it takes for you to be healthy, happy and whole again is something that is largely a function of luck.

[In_The_Wind]

5. sometimes it takes years

sorry

[BlueIris]

6. In general, I think the "how long will it take" rule is: twice as long

as the relationship lasted. I know, it bites.

If you wanted to accelerate the healing process, you could try reminding yourself of all the hard work you've done to resolve your mental health concerns, and then think about the fact that as far as you know, she wasn't willing to sort her MH problems out--for herself or to be with you. Which also bites.

[Bassic]

7. I think your first friend is right.

If you really want to get over her you may have to cut contact altogether, I'm afraid. That's how it used to work for me anyway, even though that can suck balls.

[crim son]

8. That sounds normal to me, especially because you haven't

"replaced" Amy. FWIW, it's been thirteen months since the man I loved more than anything or anyone walked away from me. This month... thirteen... there has been a shift in the way I think of him, finally. I never imagined that I would feel the devastation I felt and when in the middle of it, it seemed impossible that I would ever recover. But here I am, recovered. Hollow, mistrustful and bitter, but getting ready to feel again. It will happen to you and in the meantime, just live through the bad moments/hours/days. They pass. They pass.

[u4ic]

9. As long as it needs to take

Grief will typically do that - you think you're finally okay, and then knocks you over when you least expect it.

If the ended relationship brings up some issues in you - for example, feelings of inadequacy (I could have done more!) or abandonment, then it will take longer..and is a sign you've got more things to deal with than just a relationship ending.

In that case, it can be a time of great personal growth, if you wish it to be.

[ismnotwasm]

10. Ouch!

Most likely longer than three months. I'm so sorry you're going though that kind of turmoil--I've been there myself, although it was a long, long time age. The only thing I can tell you is that now I'm married to my best friend and best (ever) lover, going strong for quite a few years. (And I ain't the marrying type) The old lovers (as well as a particular one who broke my heart) are very distant memories, not even bittersweet anymore. I never, ever forgot what those things felt like though.

:hug:

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. Dude I have been going through this shit for a year now !

And it fucking hurts. I was fine for about 5 months and now I have been freaking out for the past 2 weeks. It came out of no where. I told him (my ex) that he really needs to leave me alone but then I don't mean it because I have this feeling of not wanting him to meet anyone else but he is toxic and this shit aint good for me. Only time can heal this but its taking tooooooooooooooo fucking long!