Dumb question about flirting:

[hippiechick]

If you've been talking over the course of a couple months with someone and noticed that every time they're talking with you, they either gently make that 'smacking you' motion with their day planner (or notebook, or hand, or pick something up off the desk) or mimick poking you with their car keys, would you consider that a sign of passive-aggression/disdain - even though it's done in a joking manner - or a sign that the person is maybe projecting wanting to touch you?


:shrug: I'm too old for this dating shit. :freak:

[trof]

1. Definitely flirting.

[Dr Fate]

2. I wouldnt put my hands on a girl unless I was flirting.

But that's just me- I'd have to know the person to tell you.

Some people like touch and it means nothing.

[hippiechick]

4. He's never gotten closer than 3 feet from me.

... it's all 'mimicking' the actions.

[Dr Fate]

9. Do you like him?

If so, he would probably love it if you made a move.

It always blew my mind (in a good way) when the girl made a move.

I would have to know the guy, but if he is single, and you like him, then I would go for it.

I hope this is not sexist, but I never put too much effort into ANY communication- hand-signals or otherwise- with a girl- unless I was interested. But that's just me- some dudes like having platonic girl friends.

The "spanking" move is a classic for casual flirting- mimicking might mean he is testing the waters?

I hear ya though- I'm too old for this crap too- I've been dating the same girl for years now, thank goodness.

[hippiechick]

10. Shit, I've done everything but take him by the shirt collar ...

... he's got my email addresses, he's called me here on off-nights, I've told him he owes me drinks for some of his sarcastic comments, I have a nickname for him, so yeah I <guess> I flirt back ...

:shrug: How much more is it going to take?

I keep thinking that they're definitely signs he's interested but he never takes it to the next level, and I'm damn sure not going to and get dissed.

Maybe he's just a professional flirt. :shrug:

[Dr Fate]

11. hmmm- maybe you are the "back up"- or he is "practicing"?

ASSUMING- that he really is flirting with you- again, I'd have to see for myself.

Are you sure he is not dating someone else?-100% sure? just because a male never mentions he has girlfriend means nothing.

I used to flirt with other girls while I was dating- a "back up" or "practice" if you will- when they reciprocate and you realize you dont want to end your existing set up, it can put a guy in a sticky situation...

Anyway, I could be TOTALLY off here-maybe he is a little shy & clueless like many guys!
Total dork myself, so dont take what I say to heart- but how about:

"That drink you owe me- how about tonight?"

Either way, Good luck!!!

[hippiechick]

13. I'm about 75% sure I'm "practice" ...

... he supposedly just ended an 8 year relationship and has been 'on his own' since January, so a big part of me thinks he's going thru his 'manwhore on the rebound' phase ... for the first month I didn't take it seriously for that very reason.

But he hasn't stopped, and there are several other single women in the office, but I'm 1 of only 2 that gets any of his attention.

So now I'm starting to wonder. Maybe he's just a mind-game player? :shrug:

Either way, I wish he'd just shit or get off the pot.

[Schema Thing]

21. "shit" is appropriate...

because if he's just ended an 8 year relationship, he's probably scared shitless about every aspect of the dating game, but especially rejection.

[Poiuyt]

27. I agree - I think he has a fear of rejection

Though it's probably not a good idea to date other people from your office.

If you really want to date him, stop talking to him about his past relationships. You don't want him to think of you as just a shoulder to cry on. It would be hard to move past that as he would associate you with his ex.

[trof]

15. Oh...OK. Well, here's this...

I'm 65 and I flirt with my 50-something dumpy librarian.
And I use the term somewhat endearingly.
I really like her. We see eye-to-eye on politics (mostly), and she is very bright and very funny.
God ( or genes, or whatever) just gave her some physical disabilities and a less-than-cheesecake body.
But we flirt outrageously.
And we both know it and that it's a fun game and neither one of us would ever even CONSIDER that it might go to a 'higher' level.

[hippiechick]

16. aaaah, now THAT makes sense.

I'm "friendly practice", in a way, - non threatening - so he can still flirt and doesn't get rusty while he's recovering from his January break-up, but doesn't get stuck in anything "serious".

:thumbsup:

[trof]

17. Could be, but don't take my word as gospel.

I'm definitely 'taken', and Donna knows it.
Miz t. is around some of the time when we're carrying on and she sure doesn't feel threatened. She and Donna are good friends too.

But (I assume) you guys are both single and available?
That puts a whole different complexion on it.
Without direct observation it would be hard to tell what his intentions are.
Sorry I can't be of more help.

[hippiechick]

22. Yes ...

... he initiated our very first conversation, which was a +90 minute talk about how his 8-year-long relationship that should have ended 7 years ago finally ended - everytime he broke up with her she flipped out and he felt guilty and went back - but this time she took his name off the lease and kept all the furniture and how he had just rented an apartment and only had his clothes and a sleeping bag ... and we got to talking about how hard it is to find people our age (late 30's ) to date who haven't been married or have a bunch of kids and other baggage etc ... then somehow the conversation turned to Cheney and Big Pharma and Iraq etc etc ...

... a few minutes after our chat ended and he headed back to his office, he asked for my email address and we've been in contact outside the office ever since - but never talk about 'us' or 'an attraction' and haven't gotten around to going for those cocktails he owes me ... it's a flirty and surface and chit-chatty ... so, maybe he's just a natural salesman and is enjoying the attention and feeling like Big Man On Campus, but isn't really interested in me.


:shrug: It would just suck to let myself like him if he isn't feeling the same in return.

[RiffRandell]

26. Forget it.

He has a small penis.

[leeroysphitz]

19. " all Mimicking" Does he paint his face white and wear a beret?

That may be an important clue...

[hippiechick]

20. LOL!

:rofl: That would certainly clear things up, wouldn't it?

[skygazer]

3. Get a riding crop and slap 'em back

That ought to stir up something.

[hippiechick]

5. I'd love to.

Maybe some day I'll bring my fur handcuffs to work and leave 'em sit on my desk, tell him if he's gonna keep swattin' at me, Ima have to lock him down. LOL!!

[skygazer]

6. Woman after my own heart

:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

7. Is This The d00d That Walked Past You

and then called you?

L O S E R

or is this a different d00d

in which case you are putting out "flirt with me vibes"

;)

I'd say that he is a wannabe flirt. Touching you should be an easy move, I mean a touch on the arm, or a pat on the shoulder, or whatever if it is not unwanted should be child's play.

It is hard to read flirting. I'm there myself. I know this woman who is a marketing representative for a company, and her job is to be somewhat extroverted and even flirty I suppose. She's singled me out and we talk, e-mail, go out to eat, and we touch like that. Yet, I'm never sure where she stands because she is completely unavailable and even off limits (which may make it even more taboo and exciting?) at any rate, I sometimes wonder if I'm out of my gourd and she is just a friendly person?

So it is hard to figure things out...

:pals:

you can always flirt with me and we can practice ;)

[hippiechick]

8. flirt flirt ...

;) :pals: :hug:


It is. He emailed me twice since then - I deleted both w/o reading them - and when I was back at work today, there he was at my desk, same as always. I was just a little bit chilly to him. Ahem.

WTF?

[SPKrazy]

12. See, You Just Need To Play A Little Hard To Get..

or else tell him to bite it...

;)

come sit by me and tell SPK all about it :evilgrin:

that bad old bad flirter who doesn't have a clue isn't good enough for you anyway :hug:

[hippiechick]

14. awww, SPK ....

:blush: I'd love to tell you all my worries. Is it ok if I cry on your shoulder a lil bit?
Sniffle.
Maybe get a little bit liquored up and emotional?

O8)

[SPKrazy]

18. Oh of course...

I'm a hopeless one for liquored up emotional women :evilgrin:

talk to me baby...;)

[LostInAnomie]

23. I am completely oblivious to flirtation.

But, physical contact is usually a good sign.

[Scarlett17]

24. He's definitely flirting.

What his motivations are, I don't know. But I do know flirting when I read it and that's flirting.

Have fun!

:hi:

edit: typo

[salin]

25. regression to middle school/early high school

and unless they tend to be overtly obnoxious/dismissive in other contexts - definitely flirting. But if the poking/kidding only happens in certain contexts but is not combined with dismissiveness in professional situations (such as staff meetings) it I would guess it is flirting.

Other folks are also often out of practice in dating.

[hickman]

28. If he's 13 he's trying in his awkward way to connect.

If he's an adult, be careful. Mimicking "smacking" and "poking" seems a little adolescent or hostile.