What about asexuality --- this is serious..

[expatriot]

okay, of course we all have a sexuality but is not a given that there are people who more or less 'sexual' than the mean.... or people who do not have not, either neurobiologically or via conditioning, have found the same psychological/emotional/physical 'payoff' for engaging in sexual activity, to the point of (and this is my point) where sexual activity is GREATLY reduced as to the fraction of energy and importance given to it. Now these people could be and are completley capable of intimacy, commitment, emotion, domestic obligation, passion, etc. but as far as the importance on the sex act, they feel alienated from a highly sexualized culture. This is me. I love my wife and we have healthy sex life but I will tell you that I'd rather just lay with her and hold her and 'cuddle' and 'snuggle' and talk for hours than to actually copulate... I am very passionate, intimate, committed, etc. but I have to admit I feel alienated by what i consider the over-sexualization of everything...

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. that is not asexual... asexual would mean the abscence of sex

all together.
You mean, you don't go for all the advertising crap?
What kind of commie are you?

How you feel used to be called normal. I think it still probably is, but a minority with a big bullhorn (ad people and media) are shoving it down everyone's throat.

[ForrestGump]

3. I'd agree that it's definitely not asexual

Sounds like love, to me.

You're lucky!

[roughsatori]

2. You are not asexual if you and your wife have a healthy sex life

I think you sound very healthy, the over-sexualization of our society is symptomatic of deeper problems that come (no pun intended) with a corporate, consumer society.

Merriam Websters definition:
Main Entry: asex·u·al
Pronunciation: (")A-'sek-sh(&-)w&l, -'sek-sh&l
Function: adjective
Date: 1830
1 : lacking sex or functional sex organs <asexual plants>
2 a : involving or reproducing by reproductive processes (as cell division, spore formation, fission, or budding) that do not involve the union of individuals or germ cells <asexual reproduction> <an asexual generation> b : produced by asexual reproduction <asexual spores>
3 : devoid of sexuality <an asexual relationship>

[Maple]

4. Yup

there are people with a low sex drive, and people with a high sex drive.

There is no 'normal'

[Lady Freedom]

5. Right On Maple!!!!!!!!

[renegade000]

6. asexual would connote that you reproduce by mitosis or another method

that only requires yourself....just fyi ;-)

[expatriot]

7. first of all, i added the disclaimer "of course we all have sexuality"

---- so therefore i knew i wasn't using the term as its biological connotation... secondly, by your definition homosexuals would be those who'd reproduce by the same sex. we are using the terms ivorced from the capability to reproduce.

[Rowdyboy]

8. I've known two asexual people in my life...

You're not asexual-you're totally normal. I have a higher sex drive than my partner so we work it out. Everyone winds up happy and life is good.

And yes, when 8 years old children wear sexually oriented clothing, when 10 year olds date, when trash like the Jerry Springer Show draws a substantial audience, we have become HORRIBLY over-sexualized.

[BiggJawn]

9. You don't make her BEG for it, do you?

Or sit by passively while she climbs the walls, saying some mealy-mouthed crap like "I'm sorry, it's not YOU, it's ME, and no, I won't ask the doctor if there's something wrong..."

No, if your wife is happy and satisfied, and she enjoys the cuddling (I've been told a lot of women enjoy that) and she's not threatening to get a fuck-buddy if you don't start holding up "your end", I'd say you really don't have a problem.

Not everybody wants to do "IT" once an hour.

Most people DO want it more than once a year, though....

[Cronus Protagonist]

10. Off topic a bit, but have you read The Gay Agenda?

http://cronus.com/agenda

Just wondering.


Click Here For Hard Hitting Buttons — Visit The Cronus Connection

[Elidor]

11. There actually is an asexual "lifestyle"

Oh, that word. Makes it sound sordid or something. There are a fair number of people who don't have any sex at all for whatever reason. I've been one of them for periods of time that would astonish most people. I think asexuals have "issues," to use another hated term. "Lifestyle Issues." Ugh. That's a brutal assessment.

Getting back to your situation, though, cuddling is highly underrated. You sound pretty healthy to me. Scientists have proven that it is impossible to be unhappy when one is cuddled. And if they haven't proven it, they should. It's a shame that so many men and women buy into the media's bullshit machismo sexual storyline that paints real men as rutting goats and women as willing but passive receptacles. It's bullshit.