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Online Columnist Rates American Idol Girls - By Their 'Bang Factor'

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 02:53 PM
Original message
Online Columnist Rates American Idol Girls - By Their 'Bang Factor'
:popcorn:

<snip>

Let’s face it. We all know how well (or how horribly) the Idol girls sang on Wednesday night. Let’s talk about what really matters: How hot was each Idol hopeful?

While everyone is judging the Idol hopefuls by their singing and their "yo factor," I’m gonna do what a lot of people who tune into Idol do: Assess who is the hottest female contestant and rate them on their “bang factor.”

An Idol’s bang factor takes into consideration a number of qualities and traits such as sassiness, sexiness, cleavage, attire, ba-dunka-dunk, and so on. Each contestant gets graded on a scale from 1 (“No friggin’ way”) to 10 (“I almost banged my TV screen”)

(Note to self: Wife is probably getting really pissed off reading this right now. Be sure to order flowers to be delivered to her office, ASAP.)

First up was Jordin Sparks. I may be a perv at heart, but assessing Jordin Sparks’ bang factor is strictly off limits: She’s only 17! So, until Jordin turns that magic age where one can legally strip, all assessments of her “talents” are off.

Sabrina Sloan has a body that doesn’t quit and seems like she’d really be a fun chick to party with. On the downside, she’s just a few genes away from being a buttaface; but she still gets a solid 9 in my book.

Unless you’re a gay male, there’s no reason not to give Antonella Barba a 10+. What hetero male can resist clicking on those photos of her splashing around in a fountain? It seems like Ant’s been coppin’ an attitude as of late, which is ironic because her bangability is totally offset by her crap singing.

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/82-03072007-1310591.html
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edbermac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Shouldn't that be 'Whack Factor'?
:rofl:
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Connonym Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
2. Stuff like this makes me think that women really haven't come such a long way
Between this and the depressing column at Salon.com yesterday about female soldiers being raped I'm not feeling that we've really made any progress at all in achieving anything resembling equality. As the mom of two girls I find it depressing as hell.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. thank you
:thumbsup:
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alarimer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 05:38 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. I find it depressing too
and the Salon article killed me. I can't believe no one has posted it yet for discussion. But what bothered me most about that article were some of the letters! Presumably from men (I supposed from the tone of their letters). some of the most appalling statements- like women are too stupid to serve (!). Although another letter from a vet stated that he thought women made better soldiers in his experience because they actually listened and followed orders.

I feel sorry for anyone in the military who has to deal with the pigs like those described in the article. I think this is a problem with the command, who apparently are not taking it very seriously. Personally I think one of those women needs to shoot her harrasser It would be so worth going to jail to see those assholes get what's coming to them. (I can't believe my own violent thoughts on this matter).

But we have not come nearly far enough. For example, the people I work with have pretty much gotten the message that sexual harrassment is not okay but it was not that long ago when there was a serial harrasser on the job. He was allowed to retire, even though everyone knew about him. I have heard such bad things about another agency in my building that I am not even going to apply for a job opening I have seen there; it just isn't worth the hassle.

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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 06:22 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Sex is a core part of the human psyche.
Guys want sex. Girls want sex. That's just reality, and there's nothing wrong with it.
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alarimer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 06:57 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Maybe so but treating women as objects sucks
it always has. We need to fucking grow up as a country.
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 09:23 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. This has nothing to do with the country.
I've been all over the world, to advanced Western European nations and backworld third world hellholes, and one thing they all had in common is men drooling over women, wishing they could talk them into some secluded corner to screw the heck out of them. We all like sex, we all have our own definitions of attraction, and it's normal to want to have sex with people you find attractive. It's a species issue. Heck, dogs do it and cats do it, so it's a mammalian issue. I certainly draw the line when behavior crosses the line into actual personal harassment of women, but a bunch of guys chatting online about who they'd like to have sex with? It doesn't bother me. Normal human male behavior. And honestly, normal female behavior...I've overheard more than one female conversation where the ladies were discussing what they'd like to do to this or that "hottie". Women can be just as bad as men when it comes to sexual objectification.

Damned insensitive mammals.
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NashVegas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Sometimes I Think We'd Have Done Better to Not Try Subverting the Basic Human Impulse
I still consider myself a feminist but my philosophy, in the last three years, has radically departed from what was mainstream feminism of the 1970s/1980s. I don't know if it's a mere coincidence, or related, that I've begun enjoying being a woman much more since I decided to give the guys around me a break and let them be guys.

99 & 44/100% of the men who slobber over celebrity hotties will never come within 10 inches of actually touching them - and they know it.

If you want to see what men treating women as objects (or vice verse) *really* looks like, if you have the stomach for it, try finding some D/s video on usenet.
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 09:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
10. I heard an interview on Democracy now today about that.
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 06:02 PM
Response to Original message
5. American Idol contestants being judged on a superficial basis? Oh the horror
:rofl:

This reminds me of people who weep because some people are considered too ugly/fat/whatever to be models. If the -job- is about arbitrary physical aesthetics, why should this surprise anyone?
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-08-07 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
6. This cro-magnon has a wife? She must be really proud.
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