Would you marry without a diamond?

[Esurientes]

My daughter's friends have reached the age where many of them are contemplating marriage. One boy (MacDonald's manager, 30k+) wanted to propose over Christmas but didn't because he couldn't afford a diamond that was good enough. Another girl recently became engaged (to a Marine lance corporal), received a diamond, and got the catty comments, "it's real small -- only 1/3 carat" behind her back. I want to know what you good liberals think.

I'd marry in the county clerk's office with a cigar band if it were with the right person..

[central scrutinizer]

1. all diamonds are drenched in blood

Please educate yourself about where diamonds come from and the horrible human rights and environmental travesties that are perpetrated so we can put a effing rock on our finger.

[Brickman]

3. 1

Diamonds

[Brickman]

8. 4

are

[Brickman]

9. 5

a

[Draven]

26. Mineral.

:)

[Blue_Chill]

42. Not all of them!

We make them in the US now. That's right, no slave or abused populations at all. Just a big room full of funny machines and highly paid employees. They actually tend to be of higher quality and lower price then the mined stones.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

56. Canada recently turned a diamond mine over

to indigenous people in the Northern Territories.

The quality of the diamonds is supposed to be excellent from what I've heard. I'd gladly give my money to them.

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. You bet. I didn't want a diamond and the one that I have is a mere

chip...but within it, I know I hold my husband's heart. That is far more vast than the biggest gem on earth.

:hi:

[Coventina]

4. DeBeers is evil. I don't support the diamond trade

Besides, the idea of a diamond engagement ring is a modern invention, promoted by DeBeers.
Any stone is fine for engagement, or no stone at all!

Yeesh, I'd run for the hills if anyone demanded a material thing from me in order to get married.

[Nomad559]

22. Diamonds - Flash Movie

Diamonds

[KCDem]

39. wow, thanks for posting. n/t

[AlienGirl]

5. I did once...

Otter never gave me an engagement ring at all. To me, it's not an issue--and I'd rather not support DeBeers!

If it's really a big deal for these kids to have something flashy to show off, how about a nice big cubic zirconium? They're indistinguishable from diamonds and much more affordable.

Or, for those who think that's tacky, what about a color gemstone--a good-sized amethyst or sapphire? Lots of things one can use instead of a diamond!

Tucker

[Esurientes]

13. The marine gave his fiancee a huge CZ at first

He purchased the 1/3 carat "real thing" after she burst into tears and rejected the CZ.

[GOPisEvil]

17. He should dump her...

...what a materialist!

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Unbelievable -

let me say to the marine "Danger! Danger! Will Robinson! That woman is danger!"

CORE DUMP NOW! Before the implosion!

[WillParkinson]

46. She's not worth it!

My mother got a plain silver band for her engagement ring.

My wedding ring is a plain, gold band (and Paul got ripped off when he bought it).

Love isn't about 'stuff'.

[seaglass]

47. Sorry, a CZ is fake.

I don't blame her for rejecting it. A ring is symbolic, it doesn't have to be a diamond or any particular gemstone but it does need to be real.

[Rabrrrrrr]

52. Nope, wrong. CZ is real.

It exists, it is there.

It is not a diamond, no. But it is real, and beautiful in it's own way. The woman needs to deal with the fact that she's been given a gift, and not bitch and moan about whether it was "expensive" enough.

[WillParkinson]

60. Thanks Rab!

I agree 111%.

[Rabrrrrrr]

62. You're welcome!

[regnaD kciN]

41. 1 out of 2 for me...

My ex got a diamond -- one that had originally belonged to my grandmother, so we didn't have to wonder about where it came from.

OTOH, when Dominique and I got engaged (in 1989), the fact that most diamonds came from at-tht-time-still-apartheid South Africa was an issue with us, so we decided on a sapphire.

[XNASA]

6. We did. Nearly 20 years ago now.

No diamond in our marriage.

Mrs. XNASA thinks that expensive jewelry is ostentatious, (which is not to be confused with Austin, Texas).

We both have wedding bands, but I only wear mine on occasion. I don't like to wear rings, period.

[Ernesto]

14. 20 years in for Mrs & Mr Ernesto.

No diamonds except that "grain of salt" in my company ring.

[sandnsea]

I married without a diamond

21 years later, I guess it worked out okay.

[wryter2000]

7. I wouldn't marry a guy dumb enough to buy an overpriced rock

I got a pearl, and it's gorgeous. I didn't require any ring, but I kind of wanted one. The ring cost less than $100 and did the job just fine!

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Yes - and anyone who wouldn't is a shallow, hollow thing

and not worthy of being married to.

IMO.

The "It's only 1/3 carat" comments really tick me off - I hope she hauled and gave a mouthful to anyone she heard saying that, though since it was behind her back, I doubt it. And anyone who WOULD make that comment is a shallow, hollow thing.

:argh:

[Flaxbee]

11. Didn't want one

for many reasons, mostly the environmental/human rights ones mentioned above. There are some "friendly" diamonds, but you need to do a lot of very thorough research and I just don't think it's worth it to perpetuate the greed/need for diamonds. There are PLENTY of them, but some very vicious cartels keep strict hold on the amount released into the market, so diamonds are also not nearly as valuable for their "rarity" as De Beers, etc., would like you to believe.

[Skittles]

12. diamonds are DISGUSTING

I'm appalled so many people go along with the I MUST WEAR/OWN A DIAMOND RING con.

[proud patriot]

15. I Did Marry W/O a Diamond .. No Gold either

I'm a silver and Lapis women , I love stones but
not gem stones........

Gold is to soft for me , I've always been a tomboy
I require silver it's tough like me .

[hlthe2b]

16. Diamonds are NOT even rare in nature... It's all a horrendous

manipulation by DeBeers. Go with colored stones-- even the British Royalty tend to prefer sapphires. Or go with moissanite, which looks better than diamonds (and can NOT be differentiated, except by very special equipment). Or, go with a lovely hand-tooled gold or silver piece that has lots of sentimentality, costs much much less, and doesn't costs lives the world over, as diamonds do.

I have a collection of antique estate rings-- all with colored gemstones, that I love. But the diamond accents are extremely small. While I agree that diamonds can be lovely, I'd put a moissanite in, in a heartbeat, if any of the little diamond "chips" fell out. DeBeers is as evil as the arms and oil cartels-- if not more.

BTW, I echo the sentiments of the original post... Send me the right guy, and a paper cigar band, would do just fine.

[myrna minx]

18. A simple silver claddagh would make me happy.

The human toll for a single diamond is heartbreaking.

[Ilsa]

51. I have one of those.

But is not a wedding ring. I've had it for many years.

[Darkseid69]

19. Done it twice

The first didn't want a ring. She didn't want to feel like a cow with a bell around her neck.

The second went to a security box, dumped out a large assortment of jewelry and said, "here try this one, now this one". So she put a ring on me. But she didn't want one yet.

<http://www.apokolips.com/>

[ProfessorGAC]

20. Wow! Some Angry Folks On This Thread

Hey, i bought my wife a diamond engagement ring. I was only 22 at the time, so i didn't know then what i know now about that whole business.

I wear a diamond ring on my right hand, but it was my dad's ring. When he died, my mom gave it to me, so i wear it 'cuz it was his.

All that being said, when my wife's ring lost the stone about 10 years ago, we replaced it with a CZ. Buying it once is enough.

I know this all makes me a bad liberal. Mea culpa.
The Professor

[hlthe2b]

24. Not at all, Prof... I think the gist is that anyone who was shallow enough

to DEMAND a big diamond, despite what we now know, and despite the sacrifices it might require of their "intended," incites a bit of anger.

Today, there are lots of known issues with diamonds and also lots of other options, that simply makes it easier to chose NOT to have a diamond. I think that's the point, Professor. I don't think you are a "bad liberal" for owning a diamond, nor do I think anyone else does.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

28. me either Prof

[GOPisEvil]

27. No problem with diamond ownership; particularly vintage jewelry.

It's the thought that one MUST have a HUGE diamond in order to legitamize the relationship that is a problem. Also a problem is that new diamonds are tainted by DeBeers and Pat Robertson and CHarles Taylor-types...

I think purchasing and owning a vintage diamond is fine.

[ProfessorGAC]

29. If I Told You My Wife's Original Was 0.3C . . .

. . .would that make it better, too? It was a high quality one, but it was little. Do i get any liberal cred back for that?
The Professor

[GOPisEvil]

31. Hey my mom's got a diamond, too.

She's forgotten more about liberalism than I know. So, your liberal creds are fine by me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

No, not a bad liberal

I think what we're reacting to most here is the idea of women who demand to have a diamond for wedding. And I'm reacting to the idea that anyone would demand any physical object as part of the nuptial thing.

I also hate the idea of diamonds becuase the money goes to support death and Pat Robertson and other horrible things, but for me in this thread, my strongest reaction is to the people who demand a big rock (or, I'd say, demand any physical object anywhere within the realm of the relationship).

[LynneSin]

21. Nothing says "I Love You" Like a Robertson/Taylor Diamond

You know Pat Robertson and Chuck Taylor, the abusive dictator of Nigeria that Pat is so fond of because all his diamond mines are in that state.

personally, I hate rings!

[ElsewheresDaughter]

25. diamond's cost too many an arm(s) and a leg(s)of to many african children!

they make me SICK!

[sybylla]

30. Already have

I sport rubies which at the time were less expensive and my preferred stone. Now they are nearly as expensive as diamonds.

It's not stone or style of the ring that's important, it's what it means.

[Draven]

32. Diamonds are sweet....

hardness of 10 on the Moh's Scale of Hardness. They're the hardest known naturally-occuring item. Made up of nothing more than carbon.

Graphite, diamonds, and soot from your chimney are all polymorphs of carbon.

Other cool diamond and graphite facts:
*Diamond is hardest mineral known to man, Graphite is one of the softest.
*Diamond is an excellent electrical insulator, Graphite is a good conductor of electricity.
*Diamond is the ultimate abrasive, Graphite is a very good lubricant.
*Diamond is usually transparent, Graphite is opaque.
*Diamond crystallizes in the Isometric system (octahedron) and graphite crystallizes in the hexagonal system.

I own a watch with a diamond marking the 12 o'clock position. :)

I'm a fan of geology. ;) :hi:

[Jen72]

33. I actually prefer Sapphires.

I also dislike Gold, so I would have to choose an engagment ring
but I hate big glitzy rings.
I actually got a beautiful silver necklace with a tiny diamond, that is more my still.
I don't care if I get a cheap ring but I do care about the style, because it has to last a life time and I do like to wear jewellery.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

49. My sister's engagement/wedding ring is a sapphire

I have a small diamond but my anniversary ring is my birthstone, an aquamarine set in platinum surrounded by two baguettes-it's a vintage ring from 1930. Very unique. I don't wear my diamond very often-not a big fan-but I wear my aquamarine everyday. I have never been a big diamond fan-I always thought it was a lot of hype.

[davidinalameda]

34. I like diamonds

they're my little sister's birthstone

but I wouldn't want a diamond ring--I have small hands and most men's rings are too big for me

in addition most men's diamond rings are ugly as hell

[cedahlia]

35. I would, and plan to in March!

I specifically told my fiancee that I don't want a diamond (or any other kind of) engagement ring. The importance many people place on getting the gaudy fat rock is ridiculous to me. If I was a guy, and my love pitched a fit about the rock not being big enough, or whatever, I'd take that as a bad sign and probably run away. Being the practical, unmaterialistic kind of woman that I am, I would much rather him save the money for our house that we have yet to buy. I can see spending a good amount of money on something like that, or on traveling to some fun and fascinating destination, but never on some insignificant little token that I would just lose anyway!

I actually am getting married in the county clerk's office, :) but we will have wedding bands, though, as I do think those are nice...there's no big rock that will get caught on anything, so hopefully I won't be aggravated into taking it off a lot and losing it (which I'm famous for doing!)

[terrya]

36. A plain gold band will do me just fine. :-) eom

[Cat Atomic]

37. I've never cared for diamonds. They seem sort of Vegas to me.

I prefer a simple band. Necklaces or earings... I'd rather have leather, stone, brass... pretty much anything looks better than a diamond.

[kimchi]

38. My husband proposed to me with a cheap silver ring.

It is beautiful, and means more than the emerald ring he designed for me later. He wears it as his wedding ring.

I'm not a fan of jewelry, especially knowing where diamonds come from, but he likes to buy it for me instead of a new car. He says fine jewelry appreciates, but cars only depreciate.

I think I can live with my 88 Honda (30 mpg on old technology), knowing if anything (Goddess forbid) should happen I can sell the jewelry.

[scarlet_owl]

40. I married my husband without an engagement ring.

We were ,(and still are, I guess), very poor when we got married. Diamonds don't suit me. I'm kind of a rough and tumble looking gal. Plus, with all that's going on with diamonds, I don't desire one. He did give me an opal and ruby ring that I wear on special occasions. I would rather show off my great husband than show off some big flashy ring.

[mykpart]

43. I told my husband he didn't need

to clamp rocks and metal onto my finger just to get me to marry him!

[Piperay]

44. Blood diamonds

NO thanks! :puke: I definitely wouldn't want one, besides the environmental thing I just don't care for them they are colorless and kind of bland. I like many other stones much better like opals or rubies etc. I would rather any stone or no stone at all than a diamond.

[WindRavenX]

45. Here's a weird thought

Maybe this is the result of being up at 3 AM PST, but I'm thinking I'd accept a diamond ring (although I like other gems MUCH more) only if he didn't get it to try to get me to marry- I dislike the idea of getting a ring to symbolize his love of me. I think it should come years after marriage...

[buddhamama]

48. gladly

the diamond as a symbol of one's love for another is just that, a symbol. too some the ring represents love and committment. i am not of that thought.

i'd rather know that the man i was going to marry loved me
by the way he treated me daily, respected me, and, in my opinion, that has nothing to do with a piece of jewelry and how much money he spent on it.

[TOhioLiberal]

50. actually....

I did get married without the diamond. People who think that a diamond is somehow 'necessary' need to rethink the whole marriage thing. Is it about love and finding a person you want to spend the rest of your life with (theoretically); or is it about a hunk of glass?
Trekkerlass

[GregW]

53. Just proposed with a 1.3 ct D-color ideal cut

Yes - it cost more than a lot of you spend on your cars.

But I love her.

So bite me.

[foreigncorrespondent]

54. Of course I would.

Love is worth more than any diamond. You don't need a diamond to show someone you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them.

[IronLionZion]

55. Wow you women are fantastic!

I just hope I find a girl as unmaterialistic as you all. Who the hell needs to spend two month's salary on a damn diamond?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

57. I figured my husband was enough of a gem...

I can't wear rings on my left hand when I fiddle anyway...

[ElsewheresDaughter]

58. as a matter of fact...it is the only way i would marry

[annonymous]

59. I have never liked diamonds.

They're cold, hard and colorless.

[Ronnie]

61. I did.

...