Note to aspiring screen writers and novelists:

[XemaSab]

you can't dig a 6 foot deep hole big enough to fit a body into in an hour.

It takes much, much longer.

Before you have your murderer dig such a hole, go try digging a hole in your back yard. Go on. Report back to us in an hour with how it went. :P

[bridgit]

1. omg i'm completely serious, watching the new King Kong you have to know...

that neo-Ann Darrow chick would have been squished, torn and/or broken into a hundred indiscernible pieces after the first leap in the palm of a big-ass gorilla; what are they thinking, we're just there for the popcorn criminy x(

[XemaSab]

3. I'm saying that this is something that creates a jarring return to reality

I am a soil scientist. 9 times out of 10 the soil profile is not deep, smooth, friable loam in just the right moisture state to make digging easy.

9 times out of 10 the soil is either baked solid, muddier'n shit, rocky as hell about a foot down, or has a hardpan you could break a backhoe on. Or some combination of the above. :D

(ps the 9 times out of 10 is a gross understatement)

[bridgit]

5. hardpan being compressed river silt i think...

but yeah, unless any would-be grave digger/murderer ran across a field of baby powder he'd be hard pressed to get'er done in the time-frame you've mentioned i agree

[XemaSab]

6. There are many things that cause hardpans

Sometimes they're just really dense clay or sometimes they're cemented sand particles. Either way around, you're going to be hitting your shovel against the thing in pure frustration while rigor mortis sets in. :P

[bridgit]

8. seems reasonable...

[wildhorses]

2. that is where the accomplice comes in

and why they got caught in the first place. the accomplice had a backhoe and is now blackmailing:P

[greendog]

4. How much longer?

Could you give me exact times for:

1. Baked solid.
2. Muddier'n shit.
3. Rocky as hell about a foot down.
4. Has a hardpan you could break a backhoe on.
5. Any and all relevant combinations of the above.

I need to know. Gotta turn this screenplay in tomorrow.

Thanx,
greendog

p.s. When the movie goes big I'll be sure your name is mentioned in the credits as "soil science consultant".

[XemaSab]

7. Sure! Here's how long it will take for the follwing scenarios:

1. 2 hours longer than it would take a normal person to succumb from heat stroke
2. Depends on how fast the water is flowing into the hole vs how fast you can dig.
3. Forever
4. Forever
and
5. You're going to drown trying to get though the solid shit, the rocks, and the hardpan. :P

[Writer]

9. Don't tell me, they unmasked the criminal at the end of the story...

and it was Old Man Withers from the amusement park. :eyes:

[XemaSab]

10. Nah, it was Orson's mom

:eyes:

[Writer]

13. "We got him," said Bobby.

"Yeah, we got him!" said Suzie.

"But I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you pesky kids!" said Old Man Withers.

"Arrrr rarrar ahoooooo!" said Scooby.

The kids high-fived each other then went to the soda shop for ice cream and fudge sundaes. The sun set and they were merrily on their way to their next adventure.

THE END.

[Redstone]

11. Damn good advice. You must be an editor.

Redstone

[jobycom]

12. Why would a murderer dig a six foot deep hole?

Seems like about three feet ought to serve the purpose.

I do flinch when I read such plot devices, though. Not just murderers. In every fantasy or historical novel involving war (that's about all of them), someone gets killed, and the rest of the gang says "We can't leave without buryin' them proper!" Enemies on their trail, enemies they are pursuing, the whole world at stake, but they are going to give the dead their proper burial. Usually takes about fifteen minutes, it seems. Often digging with daggers since no one brought a shovel.