Let's have a thread for the loners this Valentine's Day

[Droopy]

I'm 34. I'm single. I want to stay that way. I don't want a relationship. I don't need a relationship. Life is already complex enough for me right now.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So let's here it from the rest of the loners out there whether you are alone by choice or not. Consider this a big Valentine's Day hug from me especially if you are feeling down about your situation right now. :hug:

[alarimer]

1. Thanks. Back at you.

I am not down though about. Valentines Day doesn't get to me the way other holidays do for some reason. I guess because I see all the pressure put on people (especially men) to do something for their wives or girlfriends on this day. It kind of sucks. I know they (and everyone) should do nice things anytime of year but the expectations are sometimes ridiculous. My coworker said that his wife told him she expects flowers at the office otherwise he is in big trouble. I do not understand women like that.

[Droopy]

2. I don't understand that, either

A gift should be given freely with no strings attached.

[alarimer]

18. Well my coworker complains about his wife all the time

She sounds rather domineering (but of course this is one side of the story). Still, I think Valentines Day has become a racket.

[Chan790]

3. Amen...

I'm not interested in a LTR or marriage(shudder) and I doubt I'll ever be ready for the second one. Somehow, today that makes me strange. My life is a mess, the last thing I need is another person making messes within it.

[Droopy]

4. I don't think you are strange

A lot of people think it's the normal thing to want to be in a relationship and I think that leads a lot of people to be in a relationship where they are not happy. There is societal pressure on people to be in a relationship, but look how many marriages end in divorce. But people somehow think I'm abnormal because I'm in my thirties and there is no one special. On the flip side of that I've run across quite a few people who were in relationships who were envious of my single status.

I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with being in a relationship. I think two of my sisters have done it the best way. One has been married for 5 years and the other is engaged to be married. Both of them knew their mates for a long time before they became committed and they are very happy to be in their relationships.

[Chan790]

5. I know I'm not strange...

but tell that to my mom...she tried to set me up with the counter-girl at Dunkin Donuts today and told me I'd be alone forever when I balked. The counter-girl is 17. I'm not even within a decade of 17.

[Droopy]

7. LOL!

Well, you know moms. They want little grandbabies to spoil!

My mom did the exact same thing to me one time with a waitress that was serving us at a restaurant. I don't know if she understands how I can be happy when I'm single.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

6. I am 26 . I am single. I am only that way because I am concentrating on me.

But in all seriousness.

I fucking hate Valentine's Day. I hate going into to the stores middle of January and everything is Pink and Red. Thank goodness I get to stay in the bed all day. I love February 15th.

I don't know if I could ever see myself in another relationship because of so many brokenhearts. I don't crush - and I don't have anyone at all on my mind. I am just tired of being used so I closed off my heart - my last boyfriend stressed me out so bad ...

The only reason I want to get married is to have kids - but I am leaning more and more towards either adopting or getting going to a sperm bank. I am too focused on my career right now. A lot guys my age are'nt focus enough for me - just stupid and about nothing. And I am not going for someone who lies to me and can't see me for the woman that I am. I have my own place , my own car, no kids and NO DRAMA in my life - I am smart , educated , funny and I am laid back - but guys don't want me. I have been told that I am just intimidating and that's a damn shame because I am not changing for anyone. Either I get married or I don't - I don't think its for everybody. I don't think its for me. I would rather be alone and happy than to be together with someone and miserable.

[Droopy]

9. Well, Ms. Peridot

I think a lot of people who go through hard times in life tend to be more at ease with themselves once they have weathered the storm. I went through hell when I was in my 20s and now I'm the most laid back guy you'd ever want to meet.

I also think it's good that you are working on yourself. Maybe if more people did that before they got into a relationship we wouldn't have the divorce rate that we have in this country.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

11. That's the thing : I think a divorce would really tear me apart.

And I am not rushing anything. Either I get married or I don't. I never had it before so I won'tknow what I am missing. If I don't get married I will adopt a child.

[BlameCanada12]

49. Wow. You're the female version of me. Nice to know

I'm not alone in my thinking.

[itsmesgd]

8. woo hoo Alone and loving it

Somebody ask me if I have socks on the floor near my shoes from yesterday. Hell yes I do. I also have a dirty pot soaking in the sink from last night. I'll clean it later today...maybe.
This is my first V-day since my divorce was final and I am still loving being single.

[Droopy]

10. Excellent!

You should see my slovenly hovel...well, maybe not. :)

[crim son]

12. Thanks for the invite, Droopy :)

It's been a lot of years since this was a depressing day and I'm not going to let it bother me in 2007, despite changing circumstances. I can't say I'm alone because it's a snow day and I'm in the house with three noisy kids and two cats.

Fucking Valentine's Day. Last year was so much better.

[Droopy]

13. Declare your liberation from the VD capitalists!

It's only fitting that the initials from Valentine's Day are the same as those for venereal disease. This loathsome day that has been saddled upon us by the ruling class shall now be referred to as Liberation Day by the proletariat! Come brothers and sisters and celebrate your freedom from the slavery of another corporate controlled holiday designed not for your happiness, but to line the pockets of the freedom hating capitalists!

[crim son]

14. hehe.

Yeah, okay. I think this is more likely to be a man's sentiment than a woman's, but I'll embrace it for the day :thumbsup:

[Droopy]

15. Actually it's more likely to be the sentiment of a goof ball :)

But anything for a laugh.

Seriously, take it easy today. Have a couple of beers; eat some fast food; go rent some horror flicks; soak your feet; whatever you want to do. Peace.

[BuelahWitch]

22. No, actually I've felt that way about it too, for some time

and I'm female. The VD shit comes out on December 26th or 27th. It's just a day to help the card and candy companies during the long haul between Christmas and Easter.

[crim son]

25. I don't care for candies, I prefer gold.

:shrug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

16. Preach it!

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[BuelahWitch]

17. Thans Droopy

Usually I don't feel bad about being alone, but it's hard on Valentine's Day.
I found a cute site with Anti VD messages. Here's one:



Part of the link is in the .gif.

[Droopy]

19. No problem

I know this isn't everyone's favorite holiday.

I used to not have my "liberated" views about being single. I used to desire a relationship very badly. Unfortunately for me at the time I was suffering from a severe mental illness and nobody was attracted to me for that reason. Now that I'm all better I find that it's actually better for me to be single as well. However, I'm not closed off to the possibility that I might fall in love one day. But she'd really have to knock my socks off. Mere physical attraction won't get it done.

Here's to you and whatever kind of life you want to live. :toast:

[billyskank]

20. I am a loner and completely unreconciled to it

:cry:

[Droopy]

21. No way!

With all the women around here who are in love with you, how could you be single? I know that not everything that goes on here carries over into "real" life, but surely at least some of that attraction must carry over into real life!

I suppose you don't want to hear any blow up doll jokes :D. They're popular among us truckers.

Seriously, billy, be good to yourself today and do something you like to do. Treat yourself. Indulge yourself. Love yourself.

[billyskank]

23. No, that's not true

No-one here is actually in love with me. It's just play, it doesn't mean anything. In real life, nobody wants to touch me.

[BuelahWitch]

24. Aw Billy

If you were on this side of the Atlantic, or I had arms that reached over the ocean, I'd touch you. :hug: I'm not one of your flirts, but you seem like a real sweetie!

[Droopy]

26. I'm sorry, man

I can feel the heartache in those words and I wish there was something that I could do to make you feel better. If you ever need to shoot the breeze or whatever just give me a PM. I'm usually pretty active here on the weekend, not so much through the week, but I do check in for a little bit now and then. Take care and like I said, be good to yourself today. :hug:

[fizzgig]

48. i didn't see your post until now

:hug: to you darling. i miss you!

:*

[peacefreak]

27. At peace with my solitude

as opposed to being alone. Snowy, windy & cold. The cat's upstairs, sleeping. I've got my storm chocolate & good tunes. What more could I need?

[Droopy]

30. Damn straight

Nothing beats the storm rations and some good tunes. Have you discovered any good music lately? One of my favorite new bands is a rock act called Silversun Pickups. If you like rock-n-roll with an alternative edge then they are the band for you.

[peacefreak]

36. I've been listening to some old Ray Charles

& Julia Lee, who sang in the 40's. Blues full of naughty lyrics. Fun stuff.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

28. Over here!

:hi:

[Droopy]

32. Not the lesbian sandwich guy!

But, then again, you ain't going to get much lovin' if the only women who will hang with you are lesbians. :D

But I know you're a good lookin' guy so it can't be that. So, you must be a loner by choice. Have a seat on the couch, son, and tell me about your childhood. (That's usually the reaction I get anyway :).)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

33. Somewhat by choice.

I usually keep to myself, anyway. :D

[BuelahWitch]

40. I just sent your MySpace page a naughty Valentine

:hi:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

41. Thanks!

:hi:

[Nicole]

29. Count me in

48, single & loving it! :)


I've been married, had the kids & I am alone now. I plan to stay this way.

I do go on dates sometimes but I have no "steady" relationship. I don't want or need one.

All I want now is just a travel partner. I have the time & the money to travel but don't really want to do it alone.

I bought myself a day at the spa for a Valentine's Day gift. I love me. :loveya:

[Droopy]

34. Good deal

I sure wish I could go traveling with you. It's going to be a long time before I'm able to do that. Do you plan on traveling to other countries or just the USA?

[Nicole]

39. I think so too

I hope you're able to travel someday too.

Right now I'm just planning to travel in the USA. I want to see all we have before going to other countries. So far I've been to about half of the states plus Mexico & Canada. I hope to go other places some day.

[Suich]

31. I wouldn't have it any other way!

:hi:

[Droopy]

37. Me, too

In my case, I've got so much going on anyway that I'm afraid a girlfriend would be getting lonely. Today has been a rare quiet day for me as work was cancelled.

[bullwinkle428]

35. Similar story from me -

I've been through heartache in relationships over the years, and just don't want to deal with it right now. I'm definitely not looking for sympathy either! No hearts required... Plenty of people right here at DU have been through much worse than I have. I'm OK with my choice, although I'll admit to feeling lonely on occasion. Others in the thread have already said it best...I'd rather be content on my own than miserable in a relationship.

[Droopy]

38. "I'd rather be content on my own than miserable in a relationship"

That's the most concise way to sum up my feelings on the subject.

[IronLionZion]

42. I wish I had someone

but I'm not alone when I'm with DU. Big group hug! :grouphug:

[VelmaD]

43. what I can't figure out...

is how I can be poly and STILL be alone on Valentine's Day. Dammit.

I had someone I was falling head over heels for who actually lived nearby...he got a job a thousand miles away and instead of spending Valentine's Day with him...I got to watch him pack and move a couple months back.

The other guy I'm tight with...also over a thousand miles away. We're trying to make it work where we can live closer together but the universe isn't cooperating. But I've got my fingers crossed on yet another job lead. *sigh*

There's one more guy that I have incredibly conflicted feelings about...but I can't even begin to think about him and Valentine's Day in the same thought. It's just too far outside the realm of possibility right now. *sigh*

I hate this fucking day. I didn't get flowers. I didn't get a card. And I'll be lucky to get a phone call. *grump*

[supernova]

44. There, there

VelmaD. Therea re those who jus aren't man enough for us. dammit! :evilgrin: :D :hug:

[applegrove]

45. Thank you. It made my day!

[ikojo]

46. That would be me....

I don't really care. A lot of fuss is made about Valentines Day, something I've never understood.

:hug:

[BreweryYardRat]

47. Alone and not by choice.

Thanks for the thread. :hug: