Neighbor ringing my doorbell at 4AM--to bitch about my dog

[Whoa_Nelly]

In a very rare instance, my dog needed to go out in the middle of the night. In fact, this is the first instance of this ever happening. She's 11 years old, and recently put on hormones for incontinence, so maybe she really did need to go out.

Anyway, I laid down on the couch intending to get back up and let her in, and I fell asleep for about an hour. Then, I heard her barking at the patio door to be let in, so I let her in. Right after that, my neighbor comes over, rings the doorbell 2-3 times in a row. I look out, see its him, and think maybe there's seriously something the matter. I open the door and he starts to complain about my dog and barking. I slammed the door in his face. This is a guy who came over a few weeks ago to complain about my dog barking at him when he puts his daily trash from his car after work into his bin that's on my side of the two properties. And during the day, my dog is never outside without me, and every time she has started to bark at him, I have called her back. I said as much to him, and he backed off and started mumbling some shit about--yeah, I know you do, and we'll work together on this, and the neighbors on other side have three dogs, and they bark a lot, and....he walked off.

Dogs bark, people make noise. So after slamming the door in his face this AM. I slammed a few more outside doors, and then started doing laundry. Gee. Thanks next-door, Neighbor! I'm wide awake now! He might as well come on back over and complain about the dryer noise since the dryer vent is on the side of the house that faces his place.

He ever shows up again like that in the middle of the night, am going to call 911 and say there's someone trying to break into my house. :rant:

[Whoa_Nelly]

1. Many views...

no replies.

I feel like the Lounge Pariah...

[AirmensMom]

3. Don't you just love that?

:eyes:

Could be that people don't know how to respond (in the LOUNGE? :wow:) ... nah, not that. I posted a sunset pics and got many views ... few replies. Well, I thought it was pretty. :blush: Who knows? It seems to be a matter of who's here at the time. :shrug:


:loveya: :hug:

[marzipanni]

47. A few nights ago while my husband watched a movie on tv I didn't care to watch

I was perusing the lounge and decided to count the # of threads, # of views, # of replies on one page.
There were 80 threads, 24,722 views, and 2,785 replies. An average 11:100 probability someone will respond. :thumbsup::shrug::thumbsdown:

[zanne]

5. I know what you ,mean.

Dogs bark, kids yell and scream, street sweepers sweep and leaf-blowers drive me insane--but we live in a neighborhood, which should have been understood before we bought the house, right? Some people want the security and convenience of a neighborhood, but they also want the quiet and solitude of the Little House on the Prairie. Some neighbors just complain. It's in their nature.

[LynneSin]

8. You posted it at 7am

we're still trying to get our brains functioning and that's just us east coast people

[Whoa_Nelly]

13. LynneSin!

Whenever I listen to Led Zeppelin, you always come to mind! :hi:

[LynneSin]

25. Might I suggest Physical Grafitti at Volume 11 around 4am in the morning

Kashmir might freak out your neighbor

[Whoa_Nelly]

31. ROFLMAO

Actually, will just call the cops on him for holding loud and large outdoor parties until 1-2 AM this coming summer...something he always does. I will pick my battles wisely...and slyly :evilgrin:

[ProfessorGAC]

32. Nah! Trampled Under Foot!

That'll get a rise out of him!
The Professor

[ProfessorGAC]

33. Ooops!

.

[AirmensMom]

2. Sorry that happened.

:hug:

Sounds like your neighbor had a bad night and wanted to share the experience. x(

[Whoa_Nelly]

7. According to my son, who lived in this house before me

The guy always has bad nights, days, whatever, and is a general ass and very arrogant.

Am renting this house from my son, who bought another place a couple of blocks away. And ever since the neighbor came over to complain about my dog growling at him when he's by MY fence, she's decided she hates him, listens for his big pick'em-up truck, and barks at him whether she's inside or out.

And I swear. When my dog and I are outside, I always, and still do, call her back from barking because have always believed part of being a responsible pet owner is to also not allow your pet to be a nuisance...and she most definitely is not a nuisance.

Thanks for replying, AirmensMom :hi:

[AirmensMom]

10. I'm not surprised.

I can't even imagine going to a neighbor's house in the middle of the night to complain about a dog barking. If it happened EVERY night, that would be a different story ... but I'd still wait for a reasonable hour to approach the neighbor.

I don't doubt for one minute that you don't allow your dog to be a nuisance. Some people just don't like animals. :(

You're very welcome, Whoa_Nelly. :hi: :hug:

[China_cat]

78. My next door neighbor had a dog that she never

allowed in the house. When my dogs were in the yard, he'd bark at them. They'd woof once or twice at him and them go on about their business. She would call me to tell me to bring my dogs inside so HERS would stop barking. And it didn't make any difference what time of day it was. (My dogs are never out after 9pm or before 6am)

[Maine-ah]

4. I'll be honest with you

your actions were kind of irresponsible, leaving the dog outside. So, now you're wide awake, but so was he because of your dog.

[Whoa_Nelly]

9. This is the first time ever she has been out in the middle of the night

And she didn't bark except to be let in, and then barked when he rand the doorbell.,.. after she was already inside. She wasn't barking before that, or I would have heard her....falling asleep for about an hour on the couch or not...I would have heard her.

Irresponsible I am not.

And to amend the above:
Have had this dog only since last June when I adopted her. She's an 11-year old rescue dog and a real sweetheart. I have always been responsible about her, and this is the first time she has ever been out in the middle of the night due to a recent development of old age incontinence. She also is never left outside if I'm not home.

As I said...Irrespnsible I am not.

Being an asshole and ringing my doorbell 3 times at 4 AM because my dog barked to be let in is called being an asshole neighbor.

[Maine-ah]

15. no hard feelings Nelly,

the dog going out in the middle of the night is not the irresponsible part, it was the leaving of the dog outside by herself that was. I'm sure you're not an irresponsible person, but your actions this time were. Again, no hard feelings, just trying to give you another perspective on the situation. I have a couple of dogs too,one who is 13 years old(loud barking beasts) so I understand the situation. But leaving them outside by themselves in the middle of the night is a no-no (for us anyway) and especially not on a leash. And we have an acre of land and live in the woods. :hi:

[Scout1071]

34. Whoa Nelly......if the guy had to come over at 4am.....

your dog was probably barking more than just the few seconds you claim.

I'm sorry you are having trouble with your neighbor. But, I have to say that if my neighbor's dog barked for over an hour in the middle of the night, I would be mighty pissed off and I can't imagine I'd be so pleasant if I had to come ring your doorbell at 4am.

This neighbor might be a total jerk, but you've got to realize your part in this too. I can hardly believe that your neighbor got out of bed to come over to your house to complain - at 4 in the morning - because your dog had barked once. And if this one neighbor came over to complain, there were probably others that just didn't want to confront you.

I'm not saying you are a bad person. But, it does "take two to tango." You might just evaluate whether there are behaviors that you can change to avoid this in the future.

[Whoa_Nelly]

38. Here's the deal

She wasn't barking for an hour. I would have heard her. She barked to be let in. I heard her and let her in. Then, he shows up ringing my doorbell.

People like Ptah, Shine and CAPeggy know my dog is not a barker or left outside. This was a one-time occurance, and she only barked at the slider door to be let in.

As for avoiding this in the future...this guy complains about an outside light being on when his are all left blazing all around his house every night, and will complain if people are on the patio talking before 10 PM, but will hold loud and large outside parties until 1-2 Am in the summer, revs his big truck AM and PM.

He's a jerk. He looks to complain, but the rules for neighborhood etiquette don't have to apply for him.

Two to Tango? How about One to be a lousy neighbor?

[Scout1071]

46. Nelly....

In your own words:

Anyway, I laid down on the couch intending to get back up and let her in, and I fell asleep for about an hour. Then, I heard her barking at the patio door to be let in, so I let her in. Right after that, my neighbor comes over, rings the doorbell 2-3 times in a row. I look out, see its him, and think maybe there's seriously something the matter.

How do you know how long he had been barking? You admit that you fell asleep for "about an hour" and woke up to him barking, so you let him in. How do you know that he hadn't been barking for far longer? I mean, for the guy to get up out of bed and walk over to your house at 4 am? You even admit that something would have to be "seriously the matter" for him to do that. Could you consider the possibility that it really was disturbing the neighbors?

And you admit that your dog growls at this guy. That is different than barking - it's much more aggresive and he has a right to be concerned. And I am a dog lover!

My advice to him and to you, would be to call the police and let them sort it out. He might think he's doing you a favor by not calling the police, but rather to come speak to you in person - at 4 am. Either way, let the police sort it out, because one or both of you is being very inconsiderate.

[crim son]

6. Your neighbor doesn't like dogs.

You need to make sure you have witnesses who know that your dog is under control. Any guy that would show up in the middle of the night complaining is probably capable of worse. Sorry WN! And you're not a pariah, you're a delight. :hug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

11. crim son!

:pals: :hug: :loveya:

This is a enighbor that when my lived hin this house, the guy started coming over in the middle of the night to complain about an outside light being on.

It's a neighborhood. He needs to get over himself.

You around this weekend for a catch up phone call?

[crim son]

12. Certainly! Just not Friday night

because as you know, Friday is my night to go out and meet lustful rednecks. But I'd love to talk to you :) This time, you call. I'll PM you my number, okay?

[Whoa_Nelly]

14. You bet!

Saturday night a good time? I think I have your number, but will double check it against your PM :loveya:

[YDogg]

16. I hope your dog has many more happy years of barking in her.

:hi:

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. Thanks! And the funny thing about is that she's not a barking dog

She's more of a listener, and mostly gets her barking jollies on trash day when she likes to bark at the garbage truck driving by.

[JVS]

36. What do you mean not a barking dog?

Then you go on to describe situations in which she barks. And she barked last night. Is this like Bush not being a drinker?

[Whoa_Nelly]

39. She barks at the garbage truck once a week

She was growling at this particular neighbor when both she and I have been outside and he was putting his daily car trash in his bin that is right at my fence, and I always called her back and put her inside. Now, she barks at him even if she's in the house and hears his truck revving..something he does AM or PM. I always call her back when am with her outside...which is every time except for the first, and no doubt the last, time last night. She's not a barker, and if she starts barking at this guy when we're outside during the day, I call her and put her inside.

She's actually a very quiet dog almost all the time, except for when the doorbell rings (and I appreciate that as I live alone), when the trash men drive by once a week, and has developed a strong dislike for this neighbor. Otherwise, she's not a barker. Am sure she barked to be let in because I didn't hear her usual scritch-scratch at the slider door that she does to be let in when I am outside with her, or she's inside and I'm out and she wants to join me.

Yeah, Bush is a drinker, but my dog is not a barker.

[JVS]

43. How can your neighbor believe she's not a barker if she always barks at him?

All his observational data must contradict your conclusion.

[Whoa_Nelly]

51. She obviously recognizes an asshole when she smells one

She doesn't bark at others...just him. Maybe she "knows" something I don't about him.

[JVS]

57. That still makes her a barker

If your dog is bothering someone saying "That's because you're an asshole" doesn't undo it. You should be more polite to your neighbors. What's so fucking hard about saying "I'm sorry my dog was barking and disturbing you, I'll try to get her to be more quiet"? How would you like it if someone's kid were bugging you in a restaurant and the parents excused it because they believe that their kid wouldn't annoy you if you were a good person?

[Shell Beau]

59. All dogs are barkers. That is one of their forms of communication.

One of mine barks at leaves hitting the ground!

[JVS]

113. Then maybe she shouldn't say "she's not a barking dog"

[bettyellen]

84. the dog always barks at this neigbor, but that doesn't count at all? and you think THEY

are the only asshole here? you're kidding right?

[Shell Beau]

92. She can't control who her dog barks at.

My dogs bark at some people for whatever reasons. Dogs can sense things that we can't.

[bettyellen]

97. bur you see she claims her dog doesn;t bark- as if it doesn;t count at all when it;s done to this

person. so basically the doesn;t bark thing is bullshit, and she has no ability to think this through and realize ALL this neighbor ever hears is barking when he's there. every single fucking time he walks out of the house, if the dog is indoors or out, it barks at this person- that is, when it's not growling. LOL... but it NEVER barks that anyone should mind.
when i strung together the tidbits intersperse with these denials of the dog ever barking, well. i feel like the OP is kinda clueless on purpose, doesn;t want to own up how this could actually bother a person. And I think the insistance the dog only barked a minute when she has no way of knowing is just more denial.

[JVS]

98. Don Corleone, you understand everything

[bettyellen]

103. bet her son has a stereo that's "never loud" and a puppy that "never pees" on

people tire rims... unless of course you mean this guy's. Cause he doesn't count.

[Shell Beau]

99. Ok, but she has had issues with this guy way before the dog was an issue.

That makes a difference.

[bettyellen]

104. i know, she never liked him and decided it meant nothing that her dog barks at him all the time

because her son is an angle who is 100% a perfect neighbor and like her, always right.
i wonder if he ever thought he deserved a free pass to be a big asshole like she was last night? ya think?

[Shell Beau]

107. I am giving her the benefit of the doubt because of her

attitude on DU. She doesn't strike me as a bitchy person! Always kind.

[bettyellen]

110. I'm sure, we are not all the same with everyone we know. Seems to me that she feels it's her

god given right to be an asshole to this guy from day one.... based on things her son told her which could be as exagerrated as her "no barking" claims here, i.e. total bullshit.
seems like her and the kid both enjoy a good feud, LOL.

[Whoa_Nelly]

116. Aw, Shell!

:blush: Thanks :pals:

[Shell Beau]

118. You are welcome!

:hug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

114. Why are you attacking my son?

He's a grown man, owns two homes, has children, is a considerate neighbor, and works very hard in his business. He was never once was rude to this neighbor when he lived in this house (am renting this place from my son), apologized for any complaint this guy made to him, as I have in the recent past. But the guy is determined to be rude and intimidating, and does not even acknowledge any apologies made, and since this was the ONLY time that my dog has been out in the middle of the night, I would gladly have apologized had he approached me as a neighbor this daylight morning, instead ringing the doorbell over and over, and then yelling at me when I opened it thinking something in the neighborhood was wrong...we have had many thefts and home invasions in this neighborhood recently... Anyway..should I see him outside, I will approach him and make nice, apologize, etc., but I can guarantee that it will make no difference to him.

And please don't pick on my son..who has no stereo or a puppy who pees on people' tire rims. He's a hard-working family man, and certainly not part of the next-door neighbor issue that happened early this AM. I already told my son, and he said, just make nice when you see him, but just know he will ring the doorbell over and over again in the middle of the night, and if you start ignoring it, he will stop. My son never made any move to be actively rude to this guy. However, my son is 6'4", while I, on the other hand, am an older woman who lives alone, and am the only neighbor this guy is currently picking on, even though there are neighbors who leave their dogs out barking 24/7.

So, please...no need ot attack my son..and yes..I slammed the door in his face, and did a little more door slamming because his sole purpose in the manner he used in coming over at 4AM was to try to intimidate me...he's big, young, defintely stronger then me, and started screaming at me the moment I opened the door. I was scared and pissed off all at once.

So, please back off. You are not here, nor do you know me or how this guy uses his size and voice to scream at me when he refuses to deal with neighbors who are "people of other color" (his words) who have 24/7 outside dogs because "they are scum." This guy is a full-fledged member of FreeRepublic...we are a mere 40 miles south of Fresno, the birthplace of Freepers.

[bettyellen]

117. i am saying YOU never liked this guy because of whatever our son told you...

and perhaps your son has been as rude as you just were last night. maybe self righteousness runs in the family.

because since you never liked this guy, you cling to the total bullshit that your dog never barks at all.

sorry, you sound like you never had any respect for this neighbor at all. if i was half way out the door after listening to 15 minutes of dog barking (that;'s my guess, which is every bit as factual as yours) i wouldn't stop to worry about bothering you at 4 am either.

[Whoa_Nelly]

122. Apparently, you live in my back pocket

or would like to think you do.

I have never been predisposed to be on bad terms with this neighbor, and my son was never on bad terms with him.

At this point, no, I don't have respect for the neighbor who will ring ring ring my doorbell at 4AM, scream at me when I open the door, and basically pick on me when he won't approach the neighbors on the other side of him who have three 24/7 outside barking dogs. But, you seem bent on having the take on me that I am a rude and inconsiderate neighbor and person, and I have a rude and inconsiderate son. Too bad you really don't know us. We really are kind, considerate and thoughtful people.

As for my "denial" of my dog being a barking dog, you clearly have not read anything I have posted about her behavior, and how much care and time I take with this dog I adopted last June. She is allowed to "yip" her happy yip in the reasonable AM time, she likes to bark on Fridays and rush around the yard when the garbage truck drives by, and only barked at the door early this AM because I didn't hear her scratching as she usually does when I am outside with her and she wants out or wants to go in...I am always with her, except for this one time of today's occurance. And, I am not normally rude, but was freaked out at the ringing and the screaming...and quite honestly, am weary of your shallow attacks on both and my son. 4AM ringing and screaming at me doesn't get a quick "I'm sorry"....when attacked, I tend to flee, and slamming the door was the best I could do...I had no idea if he was going to try and step inside or what...he was screaming at me and he is much bigger and stronger than me.

Now, that said, I know I will approach this guy and apologize when I see him...so no need to crucify me, and no need to attack my son.

BTW, should you come knocking at my door at 4AM for any reason, rest assured...I will ignore you :hi:

[bettyellen]

125. you already said you and your son were on bad terms with him, not you're not? oh wait you are!

so, this is like that doesn't bark/ barks only at him and that doesn't count because it's him thing, huh?
It doesn't add up. Never did. And you sound like a pretty crappy neighbor threatening to lie to the cops and all.
:eyesroll:

[Whoa_Nelly]

127. Not once did I say either of us are on bad terms with this guy

I stated he has been a rude neighbor to both of us.

My son has fixed his applainces, I have offered Interior Design help, have raked his yard for him, brought his trash can up from the street when he is out of town, picked up his newspaper andplaced it where he can find it when he returns from being out of town so it doesn't look like no one's home there...and more. outwardly, have always been considerate and freindly to him...that doesn't mean I can't rant about what happened last night or about other instances where he has been rude to either my son or me.
The guy is my neighbor...not my friend. I am neighborly, but that doesn;t mean I have to like him. And, I would never outwardly be rude to him, and neither woud my son. This AM occurance (sigh..this is tiresome with you) is the only instance that I freaked and slammed the door, and then let off steam for a few minutes, and then let off more steam by posting a rant.

You are just bent on making me the bad guy here..and my son.

It's a sad thing you are so angry about what you think you read into what I have written.

[bettyellen]

128. you were outwardly rude to him last night and owe him an apology

and everyone except your dear friends here have been trying to explain this to you.
you certainly did your best to make him sound like an asshole in this thread btw, glad to hear that you do not actually consider him a "friend".
it's funny you don;t consider your prior relationship to be on the outs- it certainly looked like that from this thread. Perhaps you exagerrated the situation. :shrug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

131. OK..for the last time...please take the time to read what I write

Go back...read in ALL my posts about how I WILL apologize when I see him. how I am an older woman living alone, how there have been thefts and home invasions in my neighborhood, how this guy used screaming and threatening posture at 4AM, and how I chose to slam the door...that does not mean I won't apologize..and HAVE SAID AS MUCH TO YOU SEVERAL TIMES.

So, as I asked nicely before...Please back off. It really doesn;t matter how you "think" how it all went down, so, just ignore me from here on out because it doesn't seem to matter what I write, you are bent on being right about your interpretation of what you have read. And I can do nothing about that. And yes, he is my neighbor, and yes, I treat him as such, and yes I think he's an asshole, and no, have not been on the "outs" with him...just don't spend time with him as a friend because he's not my friend...just see him outside as a neighbor.

Later, Gator ;)

[Blue Diadem]

17. Wow, your neighbor sounds like a jerk.

Some people have to complain about anything and everything. I think the guy needs to realize he lives in a community, not out in the country. Even then he'd still hear occasional barking dogs.

Having someone knock at my door at 4:00am would scare me to death.

[Whoa_Nelly]

20. It freaked me out!

There have been several home invasions here recently. When the doorbell rang, I looked through the peephole and saw it was the neighbor (BTW--he's about 30 years old and quite full of himself on a good day.) I thought something in the neighborhood must be seriously wrong for him to ring my doorbell at 4 AM...like a fire...or someone needed help...something bad...

However, there really is something seriously wrong...with him.

[Blue Diadem]

23. Just a suggestion,

Have you considered going outside with the dog or maybe watching from a window when she's outside. I suggest this because we have a nutso type neighbor, he's stood outside and shouted that he was going to put poison out for cats. Anyway, after finding pizza slices thrown in our yards, another neighbor as well as myself try to go outside with our dogs.

[Whoa_Nelly]

27. After the first time this neighbor complained

about her growling at him when he's on my edge of the property throwing away his daily car/truck trash. I have kept an eye out. Thanks for the suggestion. There are bad people out there who will harm animals.

I know what you mean, and have thought ever since then that he could be capable of doing something like that. Funny thing is, when he tried to complain about her being in her own backyard in the middle of the day and his being uncomfortable about her growling at him (and am always out there with her and always have called her back from this action), and that he complained to me about the dogs on the other side of his house, I know for a fact that he did not, nor has ever, gone to the neighbors on the other side of him...they're a sweet and wonderful Filipino family, and this guy is intimidated by anyone not looking "Amurikin". Guess picking on an old lady is a better way to live one's life, eh?

...and so the story continues only 40 miles south of Fresno Freeperville...

[leftyladyfrommo]

18. If it hadn't been the dog it would have been something else.

I have dogs, too. And they bark sometimes. But I have good neighbors and they have never said anything about my dogs.

Next time the dog has to go out at night go with her. Put her on a leash and go with her. That way you can control the situation. It is miserable to have a neighbor like the one you have. But make sure the dog doesn't bark after 9:00 at night - I think that is the time stated in most city noise laws - maybe even 10:00.

Can you tell when the guy isn't home? And let the dog out then during the day?

He is way out of line. If the dog barked all of the time or night after night he would have an argument. But certainly not if it is just once in a while. Does he also complain about the neighborhood kids? About loud parties? About cars zooming down the street? About birds early in the norming?

But just for your on peace of mind I would just try to stay out of his way.

[Whoa_Nelly]

24. My dog was in my fenced backyard...

not out roaming..and I wouldn't go out walking her around here...not a good idea for an old woman who can't run (bad knees), or defend herself against those dogs that people around here do let out to roam at all hours. When my dog is outside, it's usually in the daytime, and always in my fenced yard.

I appreciate your suggestions, but no way have I allowed my dog to be outside without me until this first time this morning at 3 AM-ish. She's not a barker, and only barked to be let back in from the patio area...a fenced patio area. This is a first of in the middle of the night for her to go out due to a recent incontinence problem. She's 11-yrs. old, and a rescue dog I adopted last June.

And as for my neighbor...this is a neighborhood, not an apartment complex, gated community, or a neighborhood with any CC&Rs. Basically he can be ignored from here on out. He was a complainer about things like an outside light being left on...woke my son up several times in the middle of the night for that when he lived in this house... and this neighbor leaves his outside lights blazing every night no matter what. The guy is a jerk.

But, thanks for your kindly put suggestions. llfm! :hi:

[leftyladyfrommo]

26. That situation would make me really nervous.

But I put up with all kinds of stuff from my neighbors. The kids next door come in at 1 or 2 in the A.M. with Rap music blasting. It wakes me up. And I hate rap. But i don't say anything because most of the time they are really good neighbors - and really nice.

A friend of mine lives down the street and has two houses next to her that party all of the time. Noise is loud. Everyone is drunk. The get to fighting. Finally after a guy walked into her house by mistake - he was drunk- she e-mailed the police. These guys are all underage. Now she is worried that they will do something to her in retaliation. She has cats that go outside and she is worried about them.

I did have one neighbor that absolutely freaked out one day because my dogs ran up to the fence and barked at him while he was mowing his yard. A lawn mower just makes them crazy. I mean he just stood out there and thru a huge fit - even jumped and down.

I tried to keep the dogs as far away from him as possible. I'm afraid some fruitcake might get mad and try to poison the dogs. But I am really paranoid about this kind of stuff. And I live in kind of rough neighborhood.

[Whoa_Nelly]

28. I agree re: neighbors and neighborhood noises

are just part of being in a neighborhood, and am with you regarding that you have to pick your battles. This particular neighbor was a whiner in the middle of the night when my son lived in this house, and when my son and his wife had two babies to contend with. This neighbor also will complain if I have people out in my yard/patio just talking in the evening...before 10 PM...but thinks he is entitled to have large and loud parties until 1-2 AM in the summer, and should be able to rev his big truck and play loud music whenever he feels like it.

I think he's picking on me because I am an older woman alone. The guy is a arrogant asshole.

[leftyladyfrommo]

30. That is the way it always is. He wants everyone to be quiet when

he wants them to. But it is all right for him to have loud parties.

I have known lots of people like that. They want everyone else to follow all the rules - but they disregard the rules when they want to.

I had one neighbor who was awful about complaining about everything. But when 4th of July came around he bought hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks and set them off for hours. And fireworks are illegal. I pretty much had to take my dogs and just leave home.

[Little Wing]

21. That was incredibly rude of you

.

[JVS]

35. I agree

[woo me with science]

56. I have to agree, but

I think it is not too late to apologize.

[Jokerman]

22. Some sympathy for your neighbor.

I don't know you or your neighbor. Maybe he's just a jerk who over reacted to a minor annoyance, maybe not.

I have to say though that I have spent too many hours awake because of irresponsible dog owners to discount his side completely.

I've been threatened and had my car vandalized simply for asking a neighbor to control their animals.

I've also helped rescue an abused and neglected dog from a neighbor.

Again, I have no idea of your situation and can only comment in general terms.

[Whoa_Nelly]

29. I have no sympathy for this neighbor

My dog is not a barker, was the first time ever since I rescued her last year that she was outside alone in my fenced backyard patio area...something that may or may not ever happen again, but most likely won't because it's not something that I do. And am ALWAYS with her when she's outside during the day...I never leave her outside alone, whether home or not. As I said...this has been, and most likely will be, the only instance that she's outside at night without me.

This particular neighbor is a whiner. He was a whiner in the middle of the night with his doorbell ringing when my son lived in this house and there was an outside light left on...and this guy always leaves all his outside lights blazing, but claimed my son's outside light bothered him...and this was when my son and his wife had two babies to contend with. This neighbor also will complain if I have people out in my yard/patio just talking in the evening...before 10 PM...but thinks he is entitled to have large and loud parties until 1-2 AM in the summer, and should be able to rev his big truck and play loud music whenever he feels like it.

I have no sympathy for him...none.

[eyepaddle]

44. Disturing the peace is disturbing the peace, I'm not sure about local

laws (like what time things have to be quiet) but if his parties going on until 2 am keep you up call the police--I've seen that done frequently enough. (and no, I wasn't always at those parties, just next door, and have never personally called the cops, but hey, that's what they are for)

And this probably falls into the "life's not fair" category but a dog barking at 4:00 am could well merit a complaint, even if it is only once, the police just have to evaluate the situation as it is. Fortunately you don't have to deal with that situation, so your dog won't have history of complaints against it, which as I understand it animal control looks at rather closely.

I wish I could offer somethinig more positive than an impending feud, with law enforcement involved, but well....

[Lowell]

37. I'm surprised Whoa_Nelly

I never answer the door at four in the morning without a pistol in my hand. It really discourages repeat behavior. Your neighbor sounds like a reall asshat. Dogs are good judges of character.

[Whoa_Nelly]

40. ROFL

Good idea...now...where's that pistol?

Damn! I don't own one! X(

[bridgit]

41. that is straight up bullshit Nell...

:rant:

[bridgit]

42. that they rang your bell @ 4am, you know what i mean...

:rant:

[Whoa_Nelly]

96. Hi bridgit!

Hope to see you this summer! :hi:

[Name removed]

45. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[KitchenWitch]

50. Welcome to DU, enjoy your stay

Even if you rip a long time member without even knowing her.

:eyes:

[KenHodson]

53. Wrong, I provided comment which she seeked

Her dog wakes up her neighbor, the neighbor responds, she offers nothing resembling an apology, instead slams the door in his face and then she goes outside slamming doors in spite.
My original opinion does not waiver.

[Whoa_Nelly]

82. Hi KW!

Hope to get down your way soon! :hi: :pals:

[KitchenWitch]

89. That would be cool

Just don't come today...I have the stomach flu.

[Whoa_Nelly]

91. Yucky! Poor you!

:hug:

OK...I'll wait until Spring arrives and washes away all the bugs that can't possibly survive the warmer CA weather.
(In CA, that would be in about 3 weeks or so...then it will be Summer! for 8 months :woohoo: )

Feel better soon! :pals: :loveya:

[Whoa_Nelly]

54. Do you live in SaiPan?

Just wondering. Your DU name is the same as one of a 1/2 brother have not seen since '83.

If you are him, PM me, and I will tell you where everyone else is.

[JVS]

58. Agreed

[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[KitchenWitch]

63. SNAP!

[KenHodson]

65. Snap? Why are you defending unacceptable, childish behavior

When I read Whoa-Nelly's post, I had to doubleback because surely I missed the part where she told her neighbor that she was sorry. Nope, it didn't happen.
But it gets better; Whoa-Nelly thinks it appropriate to slam all the outside doors like a child?
You are defending this? Why?
SNAP back at you.

[KitchenWitch]

68. You make a snap judgement, totally not knowing who you are judging

:eyes:

I am done.

[KenHodson]

72. Wrong again, I am commenting on someone's mean-spirited behavior

when a simple "I'm sorry." would have sufficed.

[Shell Beau]

69. Well for the neighbor to still come over after she had brought the

dog inside and there was no more barking... HE could have waited for a more appropriate hour. She didn't purposely wake him up. He was doing it to be an ass. And how does that make her a horrible neighbor? It sounds to me like this guy has given her shit before. Maybe he is the bad neighbor.

[Whoa_Nelly]

86. Hi Shell!

:hi:

And he is a bad neighbor. Was also ringing the doorbell at o'Dark-thirty when my son lived in this house to complain about an outside light being on when the guy keeps all his lights blazing all night long. And that's just one of the things he has done.

And the time he showed up to complain about her growling at him when he put his trash away in the bin by my fence..always midday, and I always called her to me and put her inside...I did apologize, but also pointed out that I make her stop it every time because I am always with her, and he acknowledged that, then complained to me about his Filipino neighbors on the other side of him who have three dogs, and I know for a fact he has yet to complain to them. He's a FreeRepublic guy, and is extremely racist. (meaning...he's intimidated by those who are not him. Nice he finds it easy to pick on a single woman who lives alone and is old enough to be his mother and then some. :shrug: Go figure.)

[Shell Beau]

71. No offense?

:rofl:

[ileus]

48. Nothing worse than a barking dog...

Why can't people just own cats?

I lived in apartments two different times (moved in with girlfriends)nothing like home ownership that's for sure.

Noisy college kids
noisy kids
noisy parents that fight
noisy dogs
dumbasses slamming doors, slamming car doors, TV's loud, music, talking, thumping to fuck around people don't know how to walk softly???

We're getting ready to move to a new neighborhood and I've had to tell my kids our outside dog can't go with us because he barks at cars and isn't overly friendly to strangers. It was a bad mistake getting a dog, and I doubt we'll ever own another K9, I just respect the new neighbors too much to bring my burden to our new home.

[Shell Beau]

67. So what are you going to do with your dog?

I don't own cats because I like dogs! Your poor dog. Sounds like you don't need any pets if your going to get rid of them when you move.

[marzipanni]

49. I've drifted in and out of sleep with our next door neighbor's dog barking

You may have been in a deep sleep cycle if she barked earlier in the hour, or your neighbor might have a hair-trigger, piss-ant attitude about her barking (even once or twice to be let in) partly because your dog has judged him to be a bad character and lets him know.
If you have another neighbor you might ask if they were awakened by barking early this a.m., and if they say, "yes", you can apologize, if they say, "no", you can figure that he was in a light sleep cycle and her one or two barks at the door woke him.

[liberal hypnotist]

52. I've got three nice German Shepard's and Two lousy neighbors

My neighbors leave their dogs out in the yard and just let them bark. It is impossible to sleep with Shepard's barking. The dogs are beautiful, intelligent and untrained. The neighbors are stupid jerks.
Dog owners train your dogs. They love to do what is right.

[woo me with science]

55. Well, you say that you fell asleep.

It is very possible that there was some barking of which you were not aware. I would suck this one up and apologize, even if you're not sure. A barking dog at four in the morning is not a pleasant thing. Given that you did fall asleep, I don't think you were right to slam the door in his face.

Good luck sorting this through. It sounds like it may have been an inadvertent error on your part. It doesn't have to be a huge deal. When in doubt, I would be polite and apologize.

[Shell Beau]

62. Even so, I don't think it would warrant the neighbor to come

beating on her door at that hour. At the very least he could have waited to discuss it with her the next day. The dog was let in and quit barking!

[woo me with science]

64. I don't think slamming the door in the face of a person

you likely caused to be awakened at 4am is a mature response. The better response would have been to have apologized. It is amazing how much hostility can be dissipated simply by accepting responsibility for a minor problem.

[Shell Beau]

70. But she has had beef from this guy before.

Sounds to me like he is doing it to be an ass and I'll be damned if I apologize to an asshole.

[woo me with science]

73. Sigh. People don't act like adults anymore.

The dog was barking at 4 a.m. Even if it was just briefly, an apology would not hurt, and would be the adult thing to do.

People prefer to sustain little pissing matches, instead. This is the kind of thing that will keep the hostility going, for no real good reason.

[Shell Beau]

75. Maybe so, but it would be hard to apologize to someone who

will never be satsified with that. If that is childish, then so be it. If I had a neighbor whose dog was barking late at night and it had never happened before, then I wouldn't even dare think to go banging one her door at 4 in the morning. If it was something that happened often, then I would wait until a reasonable hour and tell her politely that I can't sleep because of her dog. There are ways to go about doing things. This guy went about it in a way that was meant to piss her off. Not get an apology. He was acting out of revenge. Why apologize for that? Does he really care if she is sorry? I doubt it.

[woo me with science]

80. None of this changes the fact

that none of this would have happened without a barking dog at 4am.

Sometimes even jerks deserve an apology. I think real courtesy involves apologizing for your mistakes even when you don't particularly like the person you are apologizing to. Courtesy breeds courtesy. If you decide not to apologize to someone just because you think they have been jerkish in the past, then you have given them reason to do the very same thing. That is how pissing matches start and persist.

I think an apology is in order and would be the mature thing to do here.

[Shell Beau]

81. Ok, maybe so, but he should've handled it differently.

[Whoa_Nelly]

95. An apology to this guy means nothing

My son had middle of the night problems with him over an outside light being on, while the guy leaves all his lights blazing all night. Son was nice, but neighbor continued to ring doorbell in the middle of the night if that light was accidentally left on...son never intentionally left it on. Son stopped answering the middle of the night doorbell rings, and just ignored him. Over time, the guy stopped ringing the doorbell.

I previously apologized to him when he complained about my dog growling at him when he puts his car trash in the garbage bin by my fence (daytime), even though I always make it a point to call her and put her inside to stop her as I don't want her growling at the neighbors. Even mentioned that to him. He acknowledged that I did that, and then went on to complain to me about the neighbors on the other side of his house who have three dogs that they leave out all the time...and I know for a fact he has not once gone to their house to make known his complaint about those dogs.

Apologies don't work with this guy. In my son's case, ignoring him seemed to be the only way to make him stop pushing the doorbell in the middle of the night. This is a guy who will complain about people talking outside at 9PM...talking...not yelling...not partying...just talking...yet, will have large and loud parties outdoors in his backyard until 1-2 AM.

[bettyellen]

108. and that it's the right thing to do means nothing to you?

if you;re in the wrong you should apologize, period. it's not like the apology is supposed to "work" wonders on him.
Sheesh.

[woo me with science]

115. So your good manners depend on him, is what you are saying.

I wrote a post about this sort of thing about a week ago--how lots of people who claim to have good manners will completely disregard them and act like children, if they believe the other person deserves it. Maturity means showing good manners even when you don't like somebody.

Your dog was barking at 4a.m., whether briefly or not. The history is irrelevant. The mature response is to apologize. You chose to escalate the situation. You were wrong.

[Whoa_Nelly]

119. Excuse me

What part of my life do you know about or even know me as someone who will or will not approach this guy when I see him outside, and will or will not apologize. I never said I wouldn't apologize. I said, he never acknowledges apologies, and continues to be a rude neighbor no matter what.

I really don't need all these posts that assume I'm not going to say something to the neighbor and make nice. But, be guaranteed, it will not alter his behavior one bit. Me, on the other hand, am one to always make nice with the neighbors...just not at 4Am with a 6'2" 30-year old who is ringing ringng ringing, scaring the bejesus out of me and screaming at me as soon as I open the door thinking there was something bad going on in our neighborhood or with him. We have had quite a few thefts and home invasions in this neighborhood recently...the 4AM doorbell ringing and the screaming he started scared the shit out of me and pissed me off all at the same time...almost like a fight or flee moment...slamming the door, and then being loud for a few minutes afterward to let off steam was a reaction.

So, please...reserve character judgement for those you actually know. Thanks :hi:

[woo me with science]

121. Nonsense.

It is very simple. Your dog was barking at 4a.m., whether briefly or not. An apology was warranted. Children decide whether to offer apologies based on things like whether they like the other person or not, or whether he was nice to them on the playground, or whether the apology will get them something. Adults make apologies because they made a mistake, no matter who the other person is, or how they will respond.

You have received a lot of good feedback here about how a mature adult would handle this situation. Of course you are free to ignore it, but you should not post on a public message board if you are not ready to receive honest feedback about what you put there. Your behavior in this situation, as you and only you described it, was rude and immature.

[Whoa_Nelly]

129. Let's see you be me at 4AM

I am an older woman who has trashed knees, can't run, am in a neighborhood that has recently been targeted with thefts and home invasions, answer my door to a recognized neighbor (after looking through peephole) who is much taller, stronger and younger than me, who strats screaming at me the moment I open the door thinking something terrible has happened to him or in the neighborhood, and he's got clenched fists, and is taking a threating posture with me. I have .05 seconds to decide if he's going to come across the threshhold, so, I slam the door.

No where in anything have I posted here today have I said I would not apologize for the dog barking. I just did not feel very apologetic, nor did it occur to me, with a 4Am fuzzy head, to apologize right at that moemnt when I felt threatened and then pissed off all at the same time.

So, crucify me all you want...pick apart what I ranted about all you want. You are not me. You have not a clue about what a good neighbor I really am...just am not too frigging friendly when a 6'2" 30-yr. old man is screaming at me at 4AM, nor at that momnet, was I predisposed to say anything. The moment was one of stop this guy before he does something to me...that is how I flet at that moment. And, later, when I see him outside, I will talk with him and apologize.

Thank you for your input :hi: I appreciate your take on my rant in the Lounge to let off steam when I first posted to get the shakes out of my system.

[Little Wing]

135. Which is nothing like how you originally posted it going down

Face it, you were rude. So rude in fact, that if I were you're neighbor I'd be documenting everything so there would be grounds for the cops to take your dog away.

You should think about those things before you choose your battles, you'll lose this one.

[Shell Beau]

137. That is harsh!

Grounds to take her dog away? A dog that barks? What a threat, I tell ya.

[Whoa_Nelly]

120. Self-delete Accidentally posted the response twice

[Shell Beau]

61. I could understand him being pissed off if this happened all of the time.

But it was a one night occurrence according to you. So he sounds like an impatient ass to me. Plus I am sure he will find anything about your dog to bitch about seeing as how the dog barks at him. I thank God that I have understanding neighbors who also have dogs and know what it can be like.

[Whoa_Nelly]

106. Yes..this is the only time this has ever happened

I don't leave her outside, and last night was the first time I didn't go out with her..10 Pm is usually the latest outside..does her duty, and we go inside. Just thought I could sit on the couch for a few minutes...fuzzy head...ended up dozing...and then heard her barking, brought her in, then the doorbell starts ringing, ringing, ringing...like there's a fire or someone is hurt...or... I see who it is, open door to see what's wrong, and as soon as he stated yelling at me with the words. "YOUR DOG..." I slammed the door.

Only time she has done this in the middle of the night, (only time she has ever even gone out in the middle of the night!) is not allowed to bark during the day except for her bouncy around the yard happy dog yips now and again, and actually doesn't bark bark bark except at the trash truck on Fridays...seems to give the old girl a jolly lift..and when inside and the doorbell rings. And, she's lately taken to barking at the neighbor while she is inside and hears his truck.
...and I agree with you...he could have waited to talk to me about it later today...not at 4Am by ringing ringing my doorbell and then screaming at me when I opened the door.


The Horrible Terrible Barking Dog


May as well take the martyr's role, accept being crucified here as a bad neighbor, and send this rescue doggie on her way to another home.... :P

[Shell Beau]

133. She's a beautiful pup!

Is she Border Collie mix or an Australian Shepherd mix?

[AirmensMom]

134. What a doll!

:loveya:

[redqueen]

66. I can certainly understand your reaction...

I do the same thing sometimes... but I always feel bad for it.

[ronnykmarshall]

74. Now, now, calm down.

He's probably a lonely person. Why doncha invite him out to a nice Italian dinner. Do you have an Olive Garden near by?

:sarcasm:

[KitchenWitch]

76. Oh ronny how I love you!

:spray:

[AirmensMom]

132. And don't forget

to nurse a baby while you're there. Invite some screaming kids to go with you, while you're at it, and light up a smoke between soup and salad. :rofl:

[slutticus]

77. Hmmm....barking dog for 1 hour at 3AM on a wednesday morning....

....no comment other than I probably would have rang your doorbell too.

[Shell Beau]

79. She didn't say it was barking for an hour. She fell asleep for about

an hour and woke up when the dog was barking to be let in. It could've been only 5 minutes.

[slutticus]

83. Yes...

...but a worst case scenario is 1hr.

If she fell asleep for that period and didn't hear the dog barking that whole time then the neighbor has a point. The fact that you don't know for sure means you take the high road and say you're sorry.

Barking dogs are the absolute fucking worse things in the middle of the night. Even worse than the upstairs neighbors goin' at it at 3AM(:scared:).


:EDIT: Can't spell

[JVS]

100. High Road! Oh good God no!

[slutticus]

111. yes...."high"

:smoke:

:hippie:

[bettyellen]

85. she claims he never barks at all too, except everytime this neighbor is around.....

so it's anywhare between 5 min and an hour.
she owed him an apology.

[Shell Beau]

87. Not if the dog barked for a couple of minutes! I would never

expect my neighbor to apologize for their dog barking for a small amount of time but then again, I would never go bang on a neighbors door at 4 in the morning either.

[bettyellen]

88. at 4am when there's noise coming from the house ain't 4 am randomly....

and that's the point, she can't know how long the dog barked.
she fucked up by falling asleep and can't say at all what happened. she's already in denial over the dog barking at all, as if barking at this guy doesn't count in the least. not surprised she claims she knows the dog wasn't barking long, she has no intention of owning up to anything the dog does that might bother him.

[Shell Beau]

90. But have you read the things this guy has done before?

He banged on the door because a light was on outside. The common denominator is this guy. He will find anything to complain about. The dog gave him a good excuse!

[bettyellen]

93. this neighbor's experience with the dog is 100% barking all the time, yet the OP claims

it ain't a barker. so she's inaccurately portraying the barking as minimal to non-existent...., making herself a martyr in this when it was her fault for the noise... on this particular occasion, she was the jerk for not apologizing. it's not okay based on other incidents, unless what you really want is an entrenched pissing contest. now her neighbor thinks the dogs a nuisance and she's doesn't give a fuck. and he'd be right.

[Shell Beau]

94. The guy caused problems before she or her dog lived there when

it was just her son. He was bitching at him about stuff. So it started before the dog!

[bettyellen]

101. "he started it" is for 3rd graders, Shell, and " I was wrong" is for grownups

and maybe the OP's son has a dog that "doesn' bark*" or a stereo that's "never loud" either....
the apple may not fall far from the tree in terms of taking responsibilty.



* except as my neighbor, which doesn;t count

[JVS]

102. Yup

[Shell Beau]

109. Again, I am giving her (who I know to be a good person)

the benefit of the doubt.

[bettyellen]

112. see, i only know the ornery self righteous bullshit they've posted in this thread

so i can't do that.

[Shell Beau]

123. He wanted revenge.

She could've apologized, but he will find something else to bitch about and she'll be apologizing forever! At least it seems that way to me.

[bettyellen]

126. well now she's saying they had always been on good terms before!

as has this neighbor and her son.
Never mind that she's given a directly contradictory story ten times in this thread...... LOL.

[skygazer]

105. So it's okay to be a rude neighbor to someone who is a rude neighbor?

Eye for an eye? Sorry, I just don't think that way. I like to think I'm a little bit better than an asshole.

I'm a dog lover and at times have had as many as 11 dogs at one time. I'm sympathetic to dog owners. But just because the guy has made stupid complaints in the past doesn't justify blowing off this complaint when the OP was asleep and so cannot know for sure if the dog was barking for a long time or not.

It was irresponsible behavior - if the dog has to go out in the middle of the night, you let the dog out, you hover around the door and you call it back in when it's done. Then you go back to bed. You don't leave it out there alone and you don't go to sleep.

And when the neighbor comes to complain, whether it's a pain in the ass neighbor or not, you apologise and say, "Gee, I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep." Why? Because it's true and if you're asleep, you have no idea if or how long your dog was barking.

I have no clue as to why this is so difficult to understand.

[4dsc]

124. My neighbors dog barked until I gave him treats

When I first moved into my new home the neighbors dog would bark every time I walk to the house. SO I bought some doggy treats and we are best friends..

Other than that I hate barking dogs that disturb my peace!!

[Madspirit]

130. The Sounds of Life

The sounds of life just irritate some people. I don't understand it either.
Sorry this happened to you.
Lee

[Little Wing]

136. At 3 in the morning?

:eyes:

[Shell Beau]

138. It happened once.

One time. Call the cops and get the dog taken away.


:eyes:

[Madspirit]

139. If it wasn't a regular thing...yeah.

This neighbor sounds like they have a stick up their butt. This isn't a regular thing their dog does. It was an exception. ...and from all the other things she has said about this uptight person...please.
Lee

[Call Me Wesley]

140. Locking.

At the OP's request.

Call Me Wesley
DU Moderator