Is it backward to care about looks of potential partners?

[David__77]

A lot of people say that "looks don't matter... what matters is on the inside." Oh, how I wish that were true. It's sad to think that certain physical characteristics actually serve to restrict people's potential interactions with others. People considered less-than-attractive are in fact excluded from many experieces they might otherwise have. How can we ever hope to move past this situation? Should we even desire to do so?

[fertilizeonarbusto]

1. No

Biology, pure and simple. Nice as he may be, if a guy doesn't do it for me lookswise, no dice. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It's unfair, but, so's life. And remember, someone's tea is another one's poison, so there is hope for everyone :-)

[mhr]

2. Hate To Say

This but you are beating a dead horse in that you cannot "deprogram" a person to find previously unattractive people attractive. What we find attractive is largely codified in our genes.

Personally, if I do not find someone attractive there is no way to "force" me to find them otherwise. It is a biological reponse. To learn more do a Google serch on "selfish genes."

[ForrestGump]

12. Better yet, search for "sexy son hypothesis"

Be sure to include "hypothesis" or you'll probably just end up with a thousand porn sites.

[WoodrowFan]

3. Only

No, only to put it first on the list, no that's backwards.

[GOPisEvil]

4. It is backwards if looks is your sole criteria.

As long as appearance is one of many criteria, then that is not backward thinking.

[JackDragna]

5. Hell no.

People don't get together in relationships to play Scrabble. If you don't like the looks, at least a little bit, of your significant other, chances are you're going to tire of your significant other very quickly.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. It'd be nice if people could fall in love with one's inner beauty first

Since that's the element that can grow more beautiful with time.

What happens when the looks fade? What if a mate has some horrible accident that renders them unattractive?

I'm not saying that looks don't play any role; but surely there must be more to a relationship than that. And I have to wonder, with constant exposure to todays half-starved, primped, pasted, injected and plastered celebrities...have our interpretations of beauty become ridiculous?

[TXlib]

9. Ever see "Shallow Hal"?

I loved that movie!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. I didn't; but this jerk of a guy I know told me it was disgusting...

so it must be great! :-)

[HEyHEY]

7. Looks can be a strange thing....

But what people don't think of is that looks doesn't neccasarily (man I fucked that Spelling up) mean that a person society would deem "ugly" won't do it for you. Ever met a girl that wasn't even close to stunning but you wanted to *ahem* anyway? I have. And if that person has a cool personality, so be it, you are lucky.

[commander bunnypants]

8. I think my wife is beautiful

and she is a bit overweight-but I am so emotionally bound to her she could look like Fredyy Krugur and I would still want her

DEMMAN

[geniph]

10. Well, of course looks MATTER

they just shouldn't be the ONLY thing, or the most important thing. But nobody expects you to go out with someone that makes you want to stock up on paper bags.

[ForrestGump]

11. Yes and no

In the long run, what is on the inside matters most, at least as far as I'm concerned. But not every relationship is destined for the long run and, indeed, many/most are not even entered in to with any expectation of the long run. Or even short run.

Fortunately, even something like physical attractiveness can be very much in the eye of the beholder. At least enough to cross that intiail gap and allow the two people to get to know each other in ways that matter more, ultimately.

[sangha]

14. Q: For those who think looks matter

What happens when and if those looks change as a result of accident, disease, or just plain ole aging?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. I have a friend whose husband left her "because she was too fat"...

Those were his words as he left.

The weird thing was, he was overweight himself. If he'd really loved her in the first place, he would have been concerned for her health as well as his own...

Sadly, she's only sunk deeper into depression and gained more weight since he left.

[Snow]

16. Try this thought....

: Stan Rogers
Song
: Lies
Album
: Home In Halifax


At last the kids are gone now for the day.
She reaches for the coffee as the school bus pulls away.
Another day to tend the hous and plan
For Friday at the Legion when she's dancing with her man.
Sure was a bitter winter but Friday will be fine,
And maybe last year's Easter dress will serve her one more time.
She'd pass for twenty-nine but for her eyes.
But winter lines are telling wicked lies.
All lies.
All those lines are telling wicked lies.
Lies all lies.
Too many lines there in that face;
Too many to erase or disguise;
They must be telling lies.
Is this the face that won for her the man
Whose amazed and clumsy fingers put that ring upon her hand?
No need to search that mirror for the years.
The menace in their message shouts across the blur of tears.
So this is Beauty's finish. Like Rodin's "Belle Heauimiere",
The pretty maiden trapped inside the ranch wife's toil and care.
Well, after seven kids, that's no surprise,
But why cannot her mirror tell her lies.
All lies.
All those lines are telling wicked lies.
Lies all lies.
Too many lines there in that face;
Too many to erase or disguise;
They must be telling lies.
Then she shakes off the bitter web she wove,
And turns to set the mirror, gently, face down by the stove.
She gathers up her apron in her hand,
Pours a cup of coffee, dripps Carnation from the can,
And thinks ahead to Friday, 'cause Friday will be fine!
She'll look up in that weathered face that loves her's, line for line,
To see that maiden shining in his eyes
And laugh at how her mirror tells her lies.
All lies.
All those lines are telling wicked lies.
Lies all lies.
Too many lines there in that face;
Too many to erase or disguise;
They must be telling lies.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. I love that tune!

...and everything else Stan did!

:-)

[greatauntoftriplets]

18. Me too!

So sad his life was cut so short.

The song talks about a woman whose face is lived in. Nothing wrong with that.

[JanMichael]

19. It's natural.

Doesn't make it "Right" though.

I've been guilty of doing that on several occassions and am not proud of my actions.

We will past it, just not on a mass scale next week.

[TheBigGuy]

20. come for the looks, stay for the love.

looks matter if all you are into is sex.

if there is no real "spark" or rapport between you and your potential partner. If thats not there he or she can be a a real babe, but its a relationship that going no where.