What to say to Fundies who insist on bugging you so they leave you alone?

[Deep13]

My wife and I were on Fremont St. in Vegas on Xmas eve. Some Fundy chick started bugging us and wouldn't go away. What can a person say to holy rollers to get rid of them?

[Reverend_Smitty]

1. I'm torn...

there are so many good responses in your poll I don't think I can pick just one...I will have to remember a few of them for the future

[GoneOffShore]

2. You left out:

"Want to do a little blow, come back to the hotel room with us and get freaky?"

[Deep13]

4. Sorry, only ten spaces were available.

[jobycom]

3. "I've been terrified of Christians since one killed my grandmother."

Mainly, I'd just be curious how they'd react.

[GoneOffShore]

7. you owe me a keyboard!

[Critters2]

5. Another way to make their heads explode

Ask 'em why there are two creation stories, and they give opposite orders of creation. Honestly, they can never answer this one.

Or, I sometimes tell 'em I'm fine with going to hell, so they should bother someone who isn't. If you seem serious enough when saying this to them, it puts great pressure on the inside of their heads as well.

[Deep13]

10. If I'm going to hell, then I just have to accept God's will.

:shrug:

[Critters2]

12. There ya go! They can't agree with good theology like that! nt

[av8rdave]

19. Another good question is to ask them where Cain's wife came from

[Deep13]

21. la la la la I can't hear you!

[KitchenWitch]

6. Love the "I see Jesus" one!

:rofl:

[Hugin]

8. #3 is a GEM! LOL!

:rofl:

[Deep13]

9. "Please let me introduce myself. I'm a man of wealth and taste...."

:evilgrin:

[Deep13]

11. #6 is what I actually told her.

[Poiuyt]

13. I knew someone who would always tell them that he was Jewish

He said that always left them a little confused

[Deep13]

16. "As a Jew I want to make sure we kill Jesus after his 2nd coming too."

:hide:

[rockymountaindem]

24. That does confuse 'em

A lot of fundies seem to think that Jews are only characters in the Bible and that we don't exist in the real world. Plus, they kind of don't know how to handle us since we believe in God, but not Jesus. So when they say "come to the Lord", I can say "I'm already there", but we're talking about two different things. It throws them quite off track.

[LSK]

14. "lets go discuss this more fully in the strip joint"

[AllegroRondo]

15. "sorry, I dont donate to cults"

always worked for me!

[KamaAina]

17. "Could you come back later? I'm just about to sacrifice a chicken..."

"...for my Satanic cult meeting." :P

[av8rdave]

18. I just tell them I'm a Frisbeterian...

When you die, your soul goes up on the roof and you can't get it down.

[Deep13]

23. Well, at least it will insulate the house.

[edbermac]

20. I'm a Satanist.

Gets them every time. :evilgrin:

[Susang]

26. My husband uses that one

Scared the shit out of four Jehovah's Witnesses. I think they really believed him! :rofl:

[Bassic]

34. I used that one on some Jehova's witnesses too

:D

I've never seen them again :D

[China_cat]

22. I'm a 7th generation witch and don't want to give up my seniority.

I've used that one with good effect.

[Deep13]

25. Yeah, you'ld lose your reserved broom parking space.

Can't do that.

[Oeditpus Rex]

27. Put on one of these before answering the door

then ask them if they brought fava beans and chianti.

[Evoman]

28. Show them your brass knuckles and tell them that the last guy who talked to you about Jesus

now pronounces it Jeeethheetthh

[Deep13]

31. *snarf!*

:spray:

[texas1928]

29. "How come the Family values party has so many pedophiles in it?"

I said that to a repuke one day, he did not speak to me for week.

[Deep13]

30. Just a week? Try harder next time!

:evilgrin:

[texas1928]

32. Well after that week, he had to talk to me, it dealt with work.

[skygazer]

33. How about

"Get the fuck away from me, you freak."

I would use that on anyone who was bothering me, no matter what their affiliation.

[Gormy Cuss]

35. Emulate Nancy Reagan.

Just say no. It helps if you say it using the most effective parental tone.

[Deep13]

36. "Say baby, why don't you put down that pipe and get my pipe up?"

[Zavulon]

37. Just to be clear - if I break your fucking jaw, that's God's will, right?

[Deep13]

38. It will take a few minutes to start the chainsaw. Consider that a head start.

[philosophie_en_rose]

39. "You know. You can be a Christian Scientologist. . . a Jewish Scientologist . . ."

:rofl:

[Neoma]

40. Totally the homosexual agenda one.

[Deep13]

41. "I gave myself to Jesus, but now he never calls."