Are You Related To Any Homosexuals?

[arwalden]

Or... more precisely: "Are you personally aware of any homosexual relatives?"

If so... is it something that you "know" because you "just know" their secret instinctively... or is it because they are out of the closet and it's common knowledge in the family?

In my family, there's ME, my out first cousin Sherry, my closeted uncle, and my other first cousin who's probably too young to realize or admit it yet... but I see many familiar similarities.

-- Allen

Edited for clarity. (Thanks Pat and Dr.Weird)

[DrWeird]

1. Isn't everybody?

I imagine one wouldn't have to look too far back in the family tree.

[arwalden]

3. Probably Yes...

but being related and actually knowing it (or admitting it) are two different things.

It was only LAST YEAR that my dad finally figured out after 25 years, it wasn't "just-a-phase" for me... and that the "right-girl" was never going to come along. LOL.

But you do have a good point, Dr.

-- Allen

[barbaraann]

6. Yes, we are all descended from a tribe of Bushmen in Africa.

There was a show on tv about this and it was just fascinating. I think it was on PBS, about the geneticist who figured out the pattern of the spread of humans throughout the world.

Of course, some of the leading Republicans are reptiles, but most of us are human and related. ;-)

[ParanoidPat]

7. You beat me to it!

Shame on you Allen! That's a 'trick' question! We're all human therefore we're all 'related'. :evilgrin:

[DrWeird]

16. Not what I mean.

Roughly 1 in 10 people is homosexual so unless you're an orphan or have a very small family you've probably got a living homosexual relative.

[Sapphocrat]

78. And as the only one of ten cousins who's gay...

...I'm that ten percent among my own familial generation. The other nine are openly admitted (and incurable) hets. Not that there's anything wrong with that... if only some of them weren't diehard Republicans, too. *sigh*

There's not even one relative I so much as suspect of being gay, out of 13 second cousins, dozens of third cousins, or any of my (now-dead) grandparents, great-aunts, great-uncles... Not nobody, not no-how.

The only other out gay person in the entire extended family wasn't related by blood; he was my cousin's wife's brother, and he's dead now too.

Sign me,

Adrift in a Sea of Heterosexuality

[arwalden]

21. You Silly Goose... That's Not What I Meant, But

I suppose I could have been clearer in the wording of my question though.

A clearer question would have been "are you AWARE of any homosexuals in your immediate family"

-- Allen

[Red State Rebel]

64. Nephew is and is out to some family but not all.....

I knew it right away but he didn't tell me until the next year. He lives an "out" lifestyle but hasn't come out to our side of the family besides me.

[Richardo]

2. Two (known) out of a total of 36 first cousins ...

...which is below the purported 10% average, so there are probably one or two more. :shrug:

[cally]

4. I voted yes

but I maybe should not have. My cousin is a Lesbian in a long time relationship--I think it's been 30 years. My sister had an 8 year partnership with a woman but has now been married to a man for 25 plus years. She's bisexual. Neither is talked about much in the family but everyone knows or knew.

[eileen_d]

5. I know I must be related to some

but I have never had the pleasure of meeting any. The one cousin that set my (usually trustworthy) gaydar off not only married and reproduced, but she also voted for Perot, so that looked like "three strikes" to me, LOL.

Unless someone is reaaaalllllyyyy closeted and repressed, I guess I am making up for the lack of homosexuals in my immediate family by including several in my chosen family! :)

[Cannikin]

8. I'm not gay but all my boyfriends are...

And one of my moms.

[GOPisEvil]

9. Not that I know of, but I'm not all that close to my extended family.

Just me, mom and dad in my immediate family, and we're all straight. :D

[Bluzmann57]

10. Yes. A second cousin

whom I love dearly. She is a very talented and intelligent young lady who has had a tough life. She doesn't know who her father is, her mother is dead, she was basically raised by her grandparents and knows a lot about the "mean streets", but yet she's been on a traveling fast pitch softball team, is a scratch golfer, and got two(!) scholarship offers to attend college. She got one simply because she's poor, and she got a partial academic offer to Western Illinois University. She wants to go into nursing and I think she'll be a great nurse. Sorry if I sound like I'm bragging, but we treat her as if she's another daughter.

[ikojo]

56. I attended Western IL University

Not really the school for me because at the time it was known as a party school and I did not know that going in. I lived in Washington Hall on the 13th floor. That should have clued me into what my experience was going to be.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVED my philosophy and religion classes but as far as extra curricular stuff there wasn't much if you weren't into the frat/sorority scene.

If your cousin attends I hope she has a better experience than I did.

[dreissig]

11. Career Unmarried

I have a couple of cousins who have remained unmarried. That doesn't imply anything about their sexuality, of course. But as far as openly gay relatives, the answer is No.

[BiggJawn]

12. I was married to one.

Oh, Yeah, threw me out and moved in a broad half her age....:evilgrin:

[Rowdyboy]

13. I have a 70 year old cousin

who has delighted me with stories of being gay in the "old days" (1950's and 60's). He had MUCH more fun in high school than I did 20 years later.

[arwalden]

25. A HA!

That's how they getcha! The foolproof "good-old-days" stories will convert impressionable young lads most of the time. LOL.

So... don't be such a tease with such a brief post. Do tell more.

It's unclear if he told you stories BEFORE you came out, or after, or if you were still in HS or not. I think it would have been WONDERFUL if I had had an older gay relative or friend to confide in when I was younger.

-- Allen

[Bronco69]

41. I love hearing those

"good ole days" stories too!! My cousin and I are the only two in my HUGE family that I know about.

[Rowdyboy]

57. Sorry to be a disappointment but I never met him until

I was in my early 40's and settled in with Michael. He came to visit mom in the hospital many times over three years (they adored each other). They had been very close when they were young and she'd known he was gay since high school. He was very racy in front of mom, and when she was asleep, or when he went outside to smoke, he would tell me VERY explicit stories. He was very active in high school (code words for tramp!)in central Mississippi in the early 1950's, and had several lasting relationships that were ongoing for years. Claimed to have bedded more than half the football team and most all of the baseball team.

He became a professional pianist (now STOP it, he really was) until his fingers were broken (never got the straight story on that one). Bought a big old house in Mobile and was involved in the gay party scene there in the 1960's-1980's.

I only thought I was wild in the 1980's. He makes me look like a missionary.

[mitchtv]

14. both my partner and I are, but

coming from a large Irish Catholic and a Large mexican Catholic family we are dreadfully alone.So many of my gay friends had Gay, uncles or aunts. There is a grand nephew, however, about 14yo, who we wonder about. His father,has a brother,also, but no relation. With Chicanos, that counts. I voted "I wonder"

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. Oddly enough my dad and brother are possible closet cases

yet, I myself do not have the urge. That's quite odd, isn't it? I remember when I was about sixteen and I was really depressed, so I didn't want to get out of bed and just stayed there for a considerable period of time. My mum was really worried, she came in to my room and asked "What is it son, what's wrong with you...are you gay? It's alright if you are, you know!". It's funny that was the first thing she jumped to. At the time, I was too depressed to be interested in being near any other human being, gay or straight, so I guess she would have been happier had I been out there getting laid.
Families are really quite strange, aren't they?

[Bertha Venation]

75. Families are strange, SLB.

My paternal unit was just the opposite. After a newspaper article & a bumper sticker irretrievably outed me to him, he still looked me in the face and said, "You are NOT a... that."

He still denies it. He's going to meet his God and his God's going to say, "okay, come on in, but don't be surprised when you see your youngest daughter here, too, you asshole."

[ET Awful]

17. Yup, my cousin and her partner . . .

GREAT people, love 'em to death. They had me scared during the quake in Cali though, my cousin works in Paso Robles!

[trof]

18. Voted "don't know" cause I don't.

Nobody has come out to me and I don't have any suspicions.
Interestingly enough, 3 of our married friends in the neighborhood have gay kids. It never comes up in conversation, but they know we know and we know that they know that we know...yada yada yada.

Well...2 "kids" in their 30s and 40s.
Two guys, one woman.

One of the guys is in college and having a tough time, but I think he's also bi-polar or manic-depressive. Don't know if one has anything to do with the other. I know he's on some kind of meds and seeing a shrink. His mom & Miz t. talk alot. He's a talented kid and usually a lot of fun to be around except when he gets WAAAAY over-the-top in his bitchy-smart mouth mode. I just don't know how to respond to that.

Gee, that was a long answer for "I don't know".

[arwalden]

27. I Love Reading Your Verbose "Short" Answers

Your narratives are like a comfortable visit with an old friend.

-- Allen

[trof]

35. Why thanks, Allen.

Now I've got the warm fuzzies.

[indigo32]

19. Besides me?

LOL... I have a female cousin who I'm suspicious of LOL... but nobody out like I am.

[Skittles]

20. yes, a cousin in San Francisco

we share the same first/last name. :D

[arwalden]

28. Well... DUH! "San Francisco"!! Coincidence? --- I Think Not. :-)

:hi:

-- Allen

[Skittles]

44. she's a long-lost cousin

she ran away when she was 14 and no one in the family heard from her for 30 years; then my mum called me one day and said YOUR COUSIN SUSAN CALLED; SHE IS A LESBIAN ARTIST IN SAN FRANCISCO. I responded YA HOO, I'M GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO !!!

[brainshrub]

22. My youngest brother.

He is also my favorite relative after my parents. (I have a huge family.)

[terrya]

23. Me and my closeted first cousin Tom.

He refuses to come out of the closet, but he's about as straight as Carson Kressley.

[proud patriot]

24. Yes, my aunt is a Lesbian

[PVnRT]

26. There's my cousin

I'm not quite sure if she's gay or just bi, but she was very, shall we say, close with her roommate that I saw her with at a family gathering one time. So maybe she's out? I have no idea, I've never asked her, but I'm pretty sure of it.

[bratcatinok]

29. My stepbrother is gay

and he's out to everyone except his mom (my stepmom). He's told her but she refuses to believe it. Talk about denial! She still tries to set him up with someone whenever she runs across a likely candidate. He's been out for over 25 years and even before he came out he never wanted anything to do with females.

He's alot of fun to be around and I love him dearly.

[101 Proof]

30. I don't know of any homosexuals in my family...

so I don't know. :shrug:

[salinen]

31. I hope so.

[aQuArius]

32. My dad, my uncles and my cousin

:)

[elfin]

33. Yes - on the "step" side of my family

Sister, nephew and niece. On my own side none that I know of, but geneology charts show a number of "spinsters", "confirmed bachelors", and a few suicides, which since depression does not seem to anecdotally show itself, suggests that may have been a reason.

I firmly believe homosexuality is in all families - either acknowledged, suppressed or outright denied.

[Misinformed01]

34. Favorite Uncle

married to the same man for 18 years.

I adored Dick as a kid; I love him even more as an adult.

Thank God for him....it was because of him that I grew up without predjudice against homosexual men and women.

[ronnykmarshall]

50. I gotta say it!!

"I adored Dick as a kid"


So did I! I still do!! :evilgrin:

[arwalden]

51. I Had To Bite My Lip On That One (Bite My Keyboard?)

But I knew that someone would eventually break the painful silence. I kind of suspected that it might be you! :hi:

-- Allen

[Palacsinta]

36. My nephew, my first cousin, my foster daughter

Happy to say all three are out and we cherish them and their partners.

[SiobhanClancy]

37. My late brother,Tommy..

I loved him dearly.

[populistmom]

38. Not the I know of

My dad has always had a few questionable closetish behavior, but nothing official. (I think he'd be bi if anything, but he's not talking.)

[scottcsmith]

39. Not sure, but...

...I had a great uncle who was a lifelong bachelor. He died last year. Now, I never met him so I know nothing about his life, but he was in his 90s when he died. The story I've heard from my grandma is that when he was a young man his wife dumped him and he never got over it. But to go 70 years without getting over a dumping? It just sounds odd to me. Again, I don't really know. I have a good dozen relatives -- aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews -- that I've never met, not even by e-mail. I think the odds are good that someone in my extended family is gay.

[Pattib]

40. My son.

Came out when he was 16. He is 19 now and attending college.

I had no clue. Even with all the gay friends I have. I suppose that even I had a "sterotype" in mind. I now joke with my son that he broke the gay mold.

During the holidays he gave a friend from college a ride back and they stayed overnight. His friend, who is also gay said the same thing. He said he had no clue that my son was gay. He met him at the college democrat club and then several weeks later he saw my son at the GLSA meeting and asked him.

[trof]

42. Welcome to DU, Patti

:hi:

[Nikia]

43. My mother's cousin is

Her parents were upset when she came out in her early twenties. She ran away and with her girlfriend and did not talk to anyone she knew from her hometown for fives years. Finally, they reconciled and her family accepted her sexuality completely.

[twistedliberal]

45. My sister came out a couple of years ago...

...I also have a couple of cousins who are likely gay...although they could just suffer from Terminal Hetero Singularity like I do...

[DemoTex]

46. Yes. My brother (out).

A brother and his partner are as much a part of my family as my wife of 30 years and I. My 80+ year old parents are fine with it. We have traveled to Europe together, we vacation at my brothers beach house together, and we do the big holidays together (most recently Christmas at a sisters and Thanksgiving up here in the mountains). By we, I mean the big family. Sometimes 12, sometimes 15, sometimes 25; depending on who can go/show at the time.

Additionally, I think their are some cousins and an elderly aunt or two who are/were gay.

[arwalden]

52. "...brother and his partner are as much a part of my family..."

YAY! That's wonderful! We're still working on it here. I'd say we're 50% of the way there. Persistence is starting to pay off.


-- Allen

[DemoTex]

67. Hell Allen, you are part of my family too.

I'm beginning to love you like a brother. You are a great guy and an asset to the cause.

Mac

[arwalden]

70. Thanks!

Your kind words are much appreciated.
-- Allen

[Lydia Leftcoast]

47. I have a first cousin

who is a lesbian, but we've lost touch with that part of the family since my father and her mother (my dad's sister) both died.

One of my sisters-in-law has a bachelor uncle whom I'm pretty sure is gay.

[AlGore-08.com]

48. Two first cousins - - one is gay and one is lesbian

And both are out.

[ronnykmarshall]

49. Several

My brother and three cousins and of course me.

[MrSlayer]

53. No.

Not that I know of anyway, everyone is married with kids. I do have a couple of gay friends though.

[Deja Q]

54. Well, one confirmed aunt...

and possibly another aunt, but she died in 1976... (there's a long story as to why we think she was a lesbian too).

Might be others...

On mom's side of the family, they're all a bit more "conservative" though she had a brother who committed suicide in his early 20s. :-(

The gay influence (whether it be genetic or environment, anyone who cares what it is is nothing more than a fascist psycho nazi out to kill us) is strong in my dad's side of the family. Or it's a lot of coincidences. :D

[ikojo]

55. My now deceased brother

and my FAVORITE uncle were gay. I loved them both.

Trouble is that my brother hated himself so much that he could not accept the love.

My uncle Mike, of blessed memory, was so cool! He's been gone for five and a half years. I miss him so.

My favorite Uncle Mike memory is going to the gay rights march in April 1993. We were both so moved by the AIDS quilt.

[gate of the sun]

58. my brother

who lives in San Francisco and by the way is really conservative politically. I don't get it.

[JohnKleeb]

59. Yeah

My cousin. In fact my infamous hamburger photo was taken at his house. The picture of me in SOteric's lounge gallery FYI.

[Crowdance]

60. Dearly loved, departed cousin

(AIDS), another not-so-adored cousin, and an aunt.

[Solly Mack]

61. out of 9 daughters

a gay/lesbian child was born to 5 of them

So yeah...related to, diaper changed by, playmates with, first cousins of,taught to drive by, dined with, bathed with, raised with..

lot of love and a lot of laughing

It's my family. It's what we are...

[Ilsa]

62. I think so, maybe.

He's in the closet. I don't think he'll tell us until both of our parents are gone (very southern, very texan, very baptist hang-ups). I've hinted some vague stuff that it would be okay to tell me, but I haven't heard anything. I hope he knows I'm okay with it. Sometimes I think he abuses substances and his life from trying to keep it secret (if that's what it is).

Advice is welcome here.

[anti_shrub]

63. Yep

My brother's been out for 30+ years now. Amazingly, my dad who was Irish Catholic as they come, had no problems with it. He used to joke about going to the gay bar with him.

One of my friends from high school is most likely gay, I'd bet money on it. His parents are borderline fundies and won't accept the concept of their child being gay. He's married to a a woman who's probably in the closet herself. No one in our group of friends buys it that he's straight, especially since back in high school he had a stash of gay porn mags that dwarfed my stack of Playboys (and I had quite a stack).

[HEyHEY]

65. Two I think

One on Mom's side, one on Dad's.

The one on Dad's died.
The one on Mom's was kicked out of his house by his freeper Dad. WHo's wife incedentally was an MLA for Ralph Klien bunch of pricks.

[Terran]

66. I wonder-r-r...

I appear to be the only one is my small clan, but I do wonder how one of my nephews is going to turn out (he's ten). Slight of build compared to his younger brother, sensitive, intelligent, moody, articulate, dramatic, a bit prissy-looking...get the picture?

And I tend to assume that my sister has at least experimented in her time, but she's operantly heterosexual, I'm very sure (currently residing with a big hairy hunky Indian guy...woof!)

[foreigncorrespondent]

68. Just me...

...and I am out, and my closeted Uncle. But it isn't hard to work out he is gay, it just hasn't ever been talked about.

Hell no one (in my family) ever really talked openly about gay people until I came out of the closet.

[mitchtv]

69. sounds like my family. sex wasn't discussed

when I was a teen, my mom would put church pamphlets titled "Listen Son" in my underware drawer.That was as close as it ever got. They grew to love my partner.
You would like the story of how I got my Argentine lover into the country.

[Sapphocrat]

79. mitchtv...

Do tell (!) how you got your Argentine lover into the country (maybe in another thread, though, so as not to hijack this one).

[wickerwoman]

71. There's a lot of speculation about my cousin...

His mother is the born-again Christian queen bitch from hell with some serious mental issues of her. He was hyperactive when he was a kid and she rode his ass from the moment he was born until he had a nervous breakdown at 17. After he got out of the hospital he moved in with his best friend and they have tattoos of each others' names on their chests. His mother and most of my very large Catholic family are speculating. I say it's great as long as he's happy and his friend is responsible enough to keep him on his meds. I offered to let them move in with me at one point but then they got jobs in another city.

[Lizz612]

81. Tattoos?

Wow! Thats moving well out of the range of speculation. Good that he's found someone like that!

[LWolf]

72. No clue.

Since there are exactly 4 humans on the planet I'm related to that I have any contact with. Not many to choose from, and one is a 3-year-old.

[mmonk]

73. Yes

from my in-law side.

[TXlib]

74. Paternal uncle... openly gay.

[maxanne]

76. my mother

is rumored to have had relations with women - but she'd never own up to it.

My daughter is bi.

[trigz]

77. Homosexuality isn't an issue in Norway, however

My wife's sister is gay. She lives with her girlfriend now for the 8th year in downtown Oslo.

I really sympathise with American gays and lesbians and the shit you get from the christian-conservative freaks over there. We're more chilled here, and rationality and common sense has long since won the discourse. There are, sadly, some idiots left who insist on the evil (or whatever...) of being gay, but of course in this country they are the freaks, so noone bothers even listening to them. For example, both the mayor of Oslo, the Finance Minister of the government and loads of big names are openly homosexual without there being anything to discuss, just like it's supposed to be.

My father-in-law, a conservative, christian man who votes for the Christian People's Party and digs Israel far too much for my liking, obviously has no problems with the wife's sister being gay. I'm really quite flabbergasted to see that there even exists a premise for publicly berating the gay community in a country such as your own, who claims to be the freest in the world. Yikes.

[buddhamama]

80. yes.

i have a Gay sibling. i knew before it was common knowledge in the family. there may be others i don't know about.

[DoNotRefill]

82. I voted "yes"...

Got an uncle who isn't "out", but he used to live near Dupont Circle in DC, now lives in San Francisco, and has never showed much interest in women. I think he's gay, but I never asked him. It's none of my business, and who cares???