Men greeting women with a kiss instead of a handshake, where do you stand?

[hedgehog]

[ohiosmith]

1. Are tongues involved?

[hedgehog]

3. Not yet, but I have my fears.

My kids were laughing at the SOTU because Nancy did a very deft job of fending off a Presidential smooch!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

2. It's reversed here

I'm usually not the touchiest-feeliest person with those whom I don't very well, but in NYC, most women -- even ones I barely know -- greet and depart with a kiss on the cheek.

So, I've sort of had to warm up to it and get used to it. We didn't do things like that back in the midwest.

[hedgehog]

4. Someone must have done a study on personal space and regional variations.

My distaste is a combination of bog Irish heritage and midwest stand-offishness.

[SteppingRazor]

5. It's more or less the standard here in SoFla...

I mean, you of course shake hands with women you meet for the first time. But hugs and kisses for female friends are so typical, it would actually be weird to shake hands, not the other way around.

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. It depends on the context.

I have several European friends, and they all greet each other (and me) with kisses on the cheek. However, if it's someone I KNOW does not have that custom, I don't think it's appropriate unless we know each other reasonably well.

[skygazer]

7. Are they men you know or men you don't?

That would make all the difference to me. If I'm meeting someone for the first time, male or female, I'm shaking hands. If they're a good friend, I will endure a hug or kiss (I'm not a touchy type but I've gotten a little looser since moving to the friendly state of California).

[hedgehog]

8. Me, I save my kisses for my husband. Other male relatives

get a peck on the cheek, maybe.

[ThomCat]

9. If they're friends I'll greet them with hugs and/or kisses

:shrug:

Of course, I greet some of my guy friends the same way.

[Ariana Celeste]

10. I don't mind it

I will admit there have been a couple of times where it grossed me out, but it was a friend of my dad and he creeped me out anyways.

Before I moved to Indiana I greeted most of my friends with a hug and a peck. :)

[LanternWaste]

11. it was glaring to me how standoff-ish our culture is...

When I lived in Mexico, greetings and introductions between opposite sexes (regardless of ages) ALWAYS consisted of the one-cheek kiss. Once I got used to it, I really liked it-- it's more difficult to get angry at someone you've kissed, I suppose.

When I finally returned to the states, it was glaring to me how... selfish and standoffish we really are. Don't know if that's because we're more prudish or more selfish (or maybe a combination of the two).

[skygazer]

12. I don't think it's necessarily selfish or standoffish

It's just a cultural thing.

I'm from New England and people often think New Englanders are cold and unfriendly. Nothing could be further from the truth but we do tend to be reserved and don't wear our emotions on our sleeve. It doesn't mean we don't show our affection but we usually show it by our actions rather than by demonstrative displays.

When I moved to California, I was somewhat taken aback by the way people greet each other - people I just saw yesterday tend to fling their arms around me or give me the ol' "air kiss." To me, a lot of it seems false and fake but I imagine my view is colored by my cultural upbringing as much an anything else - to those doing it, I'm sure it seems natural.

I just don't think it's fair to judge by other culture's standards. Different places have different customs.

[LanternWaste]

15. Fair of me to judge? Absolutely not...

Fair of me to judge? Absolutely not, and that's exactly what I did (dammit).

I s'pose I simply fell in love with the whole close-knit-family, Catholic church-on-every-street-corner culture down there, and am now simply passive-aggressively lashing out at ours.


I know better than to compare apples and oranges, but thanks for calling me out on it-- I need that sometimes. :)

[reyd reid reed]

13. If I don't know you....

really well, keep your lips to yourself.

[YankeyMCC]

14. It bothers me when people expect a kiss as a greeting

even family memebers...at least members outside my immediate family...I find it incredibly awkward.

[Jimbo S]

16. Handshakes only; no kisses, no hugs

No reason to get all touchy-feely with a someone I hardly know.

[Fleshdancer]

17. I don't mind it

This is how most of my friends (men and women) greet one another. As for strangers, I've never had anyone do that until I went to Europe and I thought it would be bothersome but it really wasn't. After all, it's just a greeting.

[wildhorses]

18. i stand with my hand out, palm down and hope they kiss that!!

*sigh* i would swoon and if they turned my hand over and kissed my palm i would flat out DIE

[Book Lover]

19. This is a European rule

If you are not in Europe, don't do it, please. If you are in Europe, you may only do this if you have been raised to do so; that cuts out everyone under the age of 50. Finally, you may only ever kiss the hand of a married woman; never kiss the hand of an unmarried woman.

on edit: Oh, I thought you meant the kissing of the hand thing. But because no one knows the rules I wrote above, I'm letting them stand. As for the air-kiss question, in a social setting, it's fine if you have been greeted by the person at least twice before. NEVER in a business setting, and never the first two times you meet a person.

[Lyric]

20. I guess I'm strange, but

the thought of being kissed on the cheek by a stranger (so long as said stranger isn't a creepy perv) doesn't bother me a bit. The thought is heart-warming, actually. :)

[Gato Moteado]

21. here in latinamerica it's standard for women to kiss men and other women....

....when saying hello or good-bye...even if they just met each other.

this place rocks!

[hedgehog]

22. I stand proudly for our midwestern/Rust Belt tradition: hand shakes

only.

Maybe it has something to do with flu season?

On the other hand, when you have to spend the winter cooped up in small quarters, personal space becomes much more important!

[JVS]

33. *ughhh* stay away, people.

[Shell Beau]

23. Nah, I like my personal space!

[MrSlayer]

24. I kiss my female friends as a greeting.

My friends wives and girlfriends and whatnot. It might just be a South Philly thing, we all kiss each other.

[Deja Q]

25. By the bedroom door, where else?

:rofl:

[Hotler]

26. I think a handshake shows respect...

respect for the person and their boundaries.

[Missy Vixen]

27. One of our friends kisses my cheek when he sees me

Most of the friends hug each other when we get together.

I don't kiss or hug people I don't know well. I also don't like it when men I don't know well call me "honey" or "sweetheart". My husband calls me "honey".

Julie

[Blue-Jay]

29. Yeah whatever, sweetheart.

<smooch>

[Missy Vixen]

36. For you, I'll reconsider!

:hug:

Julie

[Blue-Jay]

39. awww!

:blush:

On topic, though: I give some of my friends a smooch on the cheek when I see them. New people get the polite smile-handshake-nod combination.

[Nikia]

28. No kisses from male non relatives or husband

I will accept a hug from a man who hugs other men too or a few male friends.
I prefer handshakes though.

[Broadslidin]

30. Foremost, All Persons involved must produce a recent complete physical...

examination document signed by a licensed medical :smoke: doctor..!

[QMPMom]

31. Depends on who it is.

When I was on stress leave from work, I ran into a work colleague at the bank and we gave each other huge bear hugs. We walked out to the parking lot together where my husband was waiting and there was more hugging and kisses on the cheek.

Now, this guy was a good friend and I had been somewhat of a mentor to him. If it was another of the freaks that work where I do, I'd have run for the hills.

[JVS]

32. Don't ever hug me, no matter what your gender, for I am a descendant of Minnesota Lutherans...

and for us eye contact, a nod, and perhaps a handshake is plenty. I hate these huggy people all over the place. My mother and my brother may hug me, nobody else. My brother and mother can expect to be hugged by me. My brother's wife will get the hello and a nod. If a hug becomes too long, I reserve the right to break contact. If my mother puts her arm around on the couch or in a church pew, I will push her arm away and look at her strangely.

[mainegreen]

34. Me and all my family are European, so it's air/cheek kiss-kiss for all! Men, women, kids!

You should seen when family gatherings break up. It like kissing pinball on the way to the car!

[petronius]

35. I was taught that a gentleman doesn't even offer a handshake - it's up to the lady to initiate it

So a kiss - definitely not. However, if a lady indicates that a greeting kiss is appropriate, then the gentleman should perform graciously and non-sloppily. (I flubbed this badly recently on meeting the Bolivian wife of a colleague - she leaned in for the cheek-kiss and I was so startled I practically punched her in the stomach expecting a handshake... :blush:)

[GalleryGod]

37. That's What Was Taught at West Point in the 1980's too.

:thumbsup: :shrug: :thumbsup:

[bleedingheart]

38. I am very comfortable with it because of my european family

and in fact many of my friends and I greet each other with kisses and hugs.

I grew up with little ole lithuanian women who would grab you and kiss your entire face and hug you til you were blue!
and if the got mad at you they would punch you on the arm....such an affectionate group...