Abandon your free time: Mister Quickly on Amazon.com...

[Robb]

I don't know what to say, except I have a new favorite author.

His name is Mister Quickly, and he writes reviews on Amazon.com, and they're like this:

Shark 10-2206 Rockeater Drywall Saw
Price: $14.49
Availability: In Stock
7 used & new from $12.54

an imposing drywall saw, November 28, 2004
This is a very noble drywall saw. It takes a firm command of the drywall and tidily administers to it with such dignity - a trait I find boorishly lacking in most other drywall saws. The patrician cast, and venerable blade make it a dignified and baronial addition to your workshop. I myself feel a workshop too ignoble a home for this drywall saw, and have instead mounted it above my fireplace where its eminence can be more proudly displayed.

[LaurenG]

1. Oh too funny

That also looks like a good price! :rofl:

[idgiehkt]

2. underscores what I think the real

value of the internet is...there is so much human creativity out there just going to waste, so much potential untapped.

[Robb]

3. Another excerpt:

" While I was initially attracted to this product for the sterling glamour of its silvery surface, this soon tarnished once I began operating its more than yielding button interface. Yes, it is very generous in how it allows you to press and poke it to command a number of operations; but it is almost too generous, and with each push of a button it sinks into disrepute, servility and debasement. I once esteemed its silvery resplendence. This product now impresses me as nothing more than painted chattel to be abused by paupers and mendicants, to daub with their oily fingers." :rofl:

[Burma Jones]

4. John Hodgeman's Canadian cousin

My Fav:



5 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

ButterConfidante, December 12, 2005

Like most people, I confront near insurmountable challenges trying to keep my butter tidy. All I've gotten are hollow promises from products avowing their ability to keep my butter neat; yet no matter what activity involving butter, and no matter what butter tidier I'm using, invariably an indecorous sum of Beurre d'Echire will get on the fluted pilaster (with quills filling the fluting), despite being with my butter some 40 feet away and in another room. I ruined an oval Svres china plaque with Isigny-Ste-Mere, which confounds me considering how I was at least 56 feet away at the time. The devastation caused me to prostrate myself for days beneath my Dorokhsh antique rug assuaging my despair with Ravel's Pavane for a Deceased Infanta, and eating lavender seeds.

The ButterMate has given me new confidence, and butter is no longer the scourge of my upholstered furniture, et al.

[lildreamer316]

6. ROTFLMAO!!!

ooh
oh
oh
gotta catch my breath...

[Jamastiene]

5. You mean this is not a poll?

I dunno what to say now.

[Robb]

8. Man's gotta step out now and again. nt

[Deja Q]

7. 'Mister Quickly'?! Let me guess, all 7 of his wives wanted a 'quick' divorce...

:yoiks: