SEINFELD fans: Favorite episodes?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

I just saw "The Gum" (LLOYD BRAUN! :rofl:) last night on syndication, and I had forgotten what a fucking funny episode that is. I was laughing so hard it hurt.

Overall, my favorites are pretty much the classic favorites: "The Contest," "The Fusilli Jerry," "The Pen," "The Parking Garage," "The Alternate Side," "The Outing," "The Puffy Shirt," "The Hamptons," and the episode where Kramer kisses Jerry full-on just as George walks in ("The Kiss Hello"?). All of them are funny, of course, but for me those are the best.

[Call Me Wesley]

1. The commercials in between them.

Hilarious! Well written, straight to the point, every 30 seconds a highlight.

Oh, you're talking about Seinfeld. OK.

[terrya]

3. LOL

Ha-ha. :-)

I hate to say it, but after the whole Michael Richards thing, it's sort of weird watching "Seinfeld" these days. I know, of course, that Kramer isn't Michael Richards and vice versa, but still...

[LibraLiz1973]

2. I LOVE Seinfeld.

My favorites are:

The Handicap Spot
Kramer: I got news for you: handicapped people, they don't even want to park there! They wanna be
treated just like anybody else! That's why, those spaces are always empty.


The Little Jerry
KRAMER: Little Jerry Seinfeld. I named my chicken after you.

JERRY: Thanks, that's very sweet, but that is not a chicken.

KRAMER: Of course it is. I picked it out myself.

JERRY: Well, you picked out a rooster.

KRAMER: Well, that would explain Little Jerry's poor egg production.


The Nap
GEORGE: I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.




The Merv Griffin Show

KRAMER: Okay, Jerry, uh, you drugged a woman in order to play with

her toy collection. How do you feel about that?

JERRY: It was great! I've done it a few more time since then.

KRAMER: And she doesn't know anything about this?

JERRY: No, not a thing.



The Summer of George


George: This was supposed to be 'The summer of George'! The summer of George!



The Finale (I HATED this episode the first time I saw it... it is now one of my favorites)


Jerry: So what is the deal with the yard? I mean when I was a kid my mother wanted me to play in the yard. But of
course she didn't have to worry about my next door neighbor Tommy sticking a shiv in my thigh. And what's with the lockdown? Why do we have to be locked in our cells? Are we that bad that we have to be sent to prison, in prison?
You would think the weightlifting and the sodomy is enough. So, anyone from Cellblock D?

Prisoner 1: I am.

Jerry: I'll talk slower. I'm kidding - I love Cellblock D. My friend George is in Cellblock D. What are you in for,sir?

Prisoner 2: Murder one.

Jerry: Murder one? Oooooo, watch out everybody. Better be nice to you. I'm only kidding sir - lighten up. How about
you, what are you in for?

Prisoner 3: Grand theft auto.

Jerry: Grand theft auto - don't steal any of my jokes.

Prisoner 3: You suck - I'm gonna cut you.

Jerry: Hey, I don't come down to where you work, and knock the license plate out of your hand.

Guard: Alright, Seinfeld, that's it. Let's go. Come on.

Jerry: Alright, hey, you've been great! See you in the cafeteria.



The Limo
George: --Astroturf? You know who's responsible for that, don't you?! The
Jews! Ah, the Jews hate grass. They always have, they always will.



The Trip
Jerry: What happened?

Kramer: Somebody got killed while they had me in custody.

Jerry: Really? Did you hear that? Somebody else was killed!

George: You're kidding? Somebody else got killed?

Jerry: While you were in jail. So you're free.

Kramer: Yes, I'm free. 'cause the murderer struck again!

[Starbucks Anarchist]

4. Hard to pick favorites...

SO many that I like, but one of the funniest featured Elaine's boyfriend, whom she couldn't identify ethnically:

Waitress: He's black?
Boyfriend: I'm black?
Elaine: Aren't you?
Waitress: I'll give you a minute to decide.

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

10. Forgot some:

Jerry: My dentist is making Jewish jokes.
Priest: And this offends you as a Jewish person?
Jerry: No, it offends me as a comedian!

And later on in the episode:

Kramer (re: dentists): Soon, you're gonna say they should have their own schools!
Jerry: They DO have their own schools!

:rofl:

[Va Lefty]

5. The Soup Nazi

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

[TN al]

6. The Fire

KRAMER: What did you go up there to heckle her for?

JERRY: Because she came down to the club and heckled me! Give her a taste of her own medicine! <George enters.>

KRAMER: Oh, YEAH! You gave her a taste of medicine, alright.

JERRY: Well, I didn't want her to have an accident.

GEORGE: What accident?

KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.

GEORGE: That's unbelievable!

KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.

GEORGE: You ran?

KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."

GEORGE: Holy cow!

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " <Kramer throws two quick punches and a massive uppercut> - knocked him out cold!

GEORGE: How could you do that?!

KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.

GEORGE: You're Batman.

KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.

JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?

KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!

GEORGE: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?

KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.

GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?

KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.

[ghostsofgiants]

9. YESSS!!!

One of the funniest scenes ever.

[TroubleMan]

7. Is that a Titleist?

Unfortunately I can't really watch that show anymore, after Richard's tirade. I just can't look at him the same way anymore.

[Danmel]

8. Nothing Beats a Babka

(which is true) except maybe a Black and White cookie!

[Crazy Dave]

11. The Elaine dancing one

[Scarlett17]

16. Ever been to a goth club?

I laughed my ass off the first time I went. 100 people, dressed in black, doing the Elaine Dance to Rammstein. Hilarious! But I digress. . .

[Crazy Dave]

40. I would be trying to wake myself up....

...thinking I was in a weird dream :rofl:

And welcome to DU Scarlett17 :hi:

[Cannikin]

12. When Jerry takes the first class ticket and sticks Elaine in coach

"THEY'VE GOT COOKIES UP THERE!"

[slj0101]

13. The Jimmy.

The episode in which Kramer, walking back from a dentist appointment under novocaine while wearing a prototype of athletic shoes, ius mistaken as a mentally retarded person. He's invited to the Association of Retarded Citizens' banquet as a keynote speaker. So wrong, yet so damn funny.

[Mojambo]

14. The Fire or The Dinner Party

I find most of the last two seasons close to unwatchable though.

[idgiehkt]

15. I'm not much of a fan of that show, but

I have to say one of the funniest things I've ever seen was when that little balding guy was out on a date and the lady asked him up for coffee and he said he didn't drink coffee, or something to that effect. And then he realized why she asked. That is so typical of something I would do, lol. It's hysterical, no matter how many times I've seen that I always get a good laugh out of it.

[Orangepeel]

17. I like the one with the mentors ("Ovaltine? Why don't they call it roundtine?")

:rofl:

God, I don't know why that cracks me up so much, but I'm giggling just thinking about George reading that at his presentation.

[LSK]

18. when Kramer got the set of the Merv Griffen show

[Initech]

33. YES!!!

That one was absolutely hilarious!

[flamingyouth]

19. "The Slicer" and "The Little Jerry" are probably my two faves.

But there are so many great ones, including all that you've listed.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

20. Oh, cripes, "The Slicer" makes me sick with laughter.

Yes, this is Doctor Van Nostren.....

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[flamingyouth]

21. "Why would I, a Julliard-trained dermatologist...."

:rofl:

George: "And then I'll have a shot of a bare-chested Kruger!"

Elaine: "You got a little thing for this fella?"

[WritingIsMyReligion]

23. I lvoe it when Elaine calls the locksmith while "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is blasting.

:rofl:

[IntravenousDemilo]

22. "The Library"

Jerry hasn't returned Tropic of Cancer to the NY Public Library, and it's been overdue since 1971, so he gets a visit from Philip Baker Hall as Lt Bookman.

BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?

JERRY: No, I don't.

BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my list. I looked
it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a celebrity
that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the law?

JERRY: Certainly not.

BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp,
the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean
anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot.
Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:
Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're
thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library
books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without
libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change
the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right
now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees
and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?
Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue
fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that
kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe
that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and
your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time
is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!


"The Chinese Restaurant" and "The Parking Garage" were also great. Out of the entire run, there were exactly two episodes whose titles didn't start with "The".

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. Oh shit yeah, "The Library" is funny shit.

:rofl:

[terrya]

31. You can see Jerry Seinfeld trying to keep a straight face...

during that scene. It would have been impossible for me.

That is a wonderful episode.

On edit...I forgot something:

SHMILY

[Jimbo S]

25. "Puffy Shirt"

My first Seinfeld. A good first impression.

[NoGOPZone]

26. The Frogger and The Calzone

George: And the outlet is here.
Pete the Electrician: The what?
George: The outlet. Where the electricity comes from.
Pete: Oh, you mean the holes.

Newman: I don't work in the rain.
George: You're the mailman. 'neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow'; it's the first one!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

36. OMG "The Frogger"!

:rofl:

[CrazyForKucinich]

27. The Abstinence

"Take Me To Your Leader"

The Andria Doria is a close second.

[AlCzervik]

28. Puffy Shirt and Ugly Baby.

[Kutjara]

29. I used to love Seinfeld but,...

...since Michael Richards' racist outburst, I can't bring myself to watch it any more. I know it seems very self-righteous, but I just have a visceral aversion to the man now, and can't bear to watch him. I should probably be able to separate the actor from the role but, for some reason, in this case, I can't.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

37. I find Kramer absolutely fucking hysterical, even after Richards's rant.

Like tonight, on "The Rye," his buying enough food for an army was side-splitting.

:D

[mentalsolstice]

30. Art Vandalay

My husband usually uses that name whenever we're on a waiting list at a restaurant. Unfortunately, most of the hostesses are too young to appreciate the humor. However, most of the customers start giggling when the name is called out.

[Initech]

32. The Opposite!!

My favorite of all time.

I also like the one where George's worlds collide, The Jimmy, The Fusilli Jerry (ASS MAN!!!) and the Festivus one.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

38. ASSMAN!

Heeeeeeee!

:rofl:

[GenDem]

34. I like the Junior Mint episode --

Where they are all up in the balcony watching a surgery and Kramer drops the mint into the surgical opening. And I also like the marble rye one. And any episodes with Mr. Peterman.
:rofl:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

39. "The Rye" was just on tonight.

Oh my gosh, I think I split my side laughing. The whole side affair with the saxophonist is fucking hysterical.

[Gormy Cuss]

35. "Dolores!"

I don't know what the episode is called, but that's the punchline.