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hatredisnotavalue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:19 PM
Original message
Am I a bad parent?
My two kids, one soon to be 18 and the other 19, have bickered over everything from day 1. I have spent 18 years listening to the bickering about how unfair I am compared to other parents who don't make their kids share. The bickering continues tonight about the family second car which they share. The primary car is available, I'm not going out, but I won't let them use it cause they are both going to the same place. If they want to have their own ride, then they can get their own car and get a job and pay for it. Meanwhile, they can share the second family car, a snazzy green 1995 Chevy Cavalier.

I am not, repeat not, buying them a car. And I never will.
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
1. No, you're not a bad parent.
Next time they start bitching, take the keys and give them a bus schedule. After all, you don't have to give them a car at all.
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hatredisnotavalue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:27 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. alas we are in rural central maine
with no public transportation or bicycle riding weather, but gee, I think they have working friends with cars?
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. Didya see the clip about the girl getting the new car for her birthday?
Throwing a fit over the "wrong" color? That's bad parenting.

It was here this morning...totally pathetic.

If they want you to buy them their own rides, buy them bicycles.
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hatredisnotavalue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:32 PM
Response to Reply #2
8. or good sneakers :) n/t
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anti-everything Donating Member (627 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
3. You are not a bad parent.
They SHOULD have to buy their own cars. They may appreciate them more if they do. They're also lucky you're still letting them live there if they're over 18.
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hatredisnotavalue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Good point
Although daughter is home on college break and son is still in HS, they really need to start paying their way.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
5. Yes, you're a total failure.
It doesn't matter that you may have done everything else right in the rearing of these darlings.
EVERYBODY knows that no one under the age of 48 would EVER be caught dead in a green '95 Chevy Cavalier.

Jeez I'm glad my daughter is an only child.
Stiff upper.
:-)
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hatredisnotavalue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. :) that was quite funny! n/t
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:46 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. Thanks. I'm about to be grandfathered again.
Jack is 4 1/2 and a bit of a hand full at times.
OK, occasionally a DOUBLE hand full.
He's in his third year of the 'Terrible Twos'.
He will be joined by a baby sister in late May.
Your post is NOT encouraging.
I am crossing my fingers.
;-)
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Kerrytravelers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:34 PM
Response to Original message
9. The Battling Bickersons need to grow up.
They are too old to be so childish. Driving is a privilege, not a right. They need to understand that now. By all means, take away all their car privileges. Then it's either get along or go nowhere.

How embarrassing they must be in public. If they act that way in public, I'd leave them behind and let them figure out how to get home- like grown ups have to when we don't have cars.

Hang in there and DO NOT GIVE IN!
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 06:41 PM
Response to Original message
10. My 19 year old is buying his own car.
And he pays for his own insurance (the extra $ it costs to allow him to drive my car) to the tune of $1,000 a year. Hell, my 8 year old knows how to save his money for something he wants.

You're a good parent. :hug:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
12. That was my brother and me for the longest. Finally at age
28 and he at 30, we are great friends. Siblings are like that sometimes!
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youthere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
13. Let's see...
Food? Shelter? Clothing?
Nope..no car required.

You're doing the right thing. Hang tough.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-11-07 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
14. Yes. You should have never let them use the shared car to begin with
;-)
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