Have you ever had a family member come and stay with you after

[Blue_Roses]

losing a job, or a break-up from a relationship, etc.? My sister-in-law (21) has broken up with her live-in boyfriend and my husband said she could stay with us awhile. I can handle it for awhile, but how long are we talking here and why the hell at 21 year-old can't she get her own place? :shrug: She does work. What am I missing here?

[Beaverhausen]

1. Set a time limit?

Tell her after 3 months she has got to be out. Charge her rent while she is with you.

Does she make enough $$$ to afford her own place?

[Blue_Roses]

2. Well, I asked my husband that and he said no.

She doesn't make enough. He travels and is gone a lot so I would be here with her--not him. :eyes:

To top it off she's very bossy and we have two kids, so already see where this could end up.

[Connonym]

3. have an exit strategy!

I'm moving in with family because of a job loss sitch. It's important to discuss ahead of time how long it will last. I've never moved after a breakup but maybe your sister is afraid of being alone?

[Madrone]

4. Not a family member -

But I am currently housing an 18 year old fresh out of rehab. I don't know how long I'm in for, but it's not going to be quick. She has no job, no license, and she just went to court on Monday and was sentenced to a year probation (time served, no jail time) for 2 misdemeanors and a felony.

I want to leave the state, but my desires and wishes are on hold until she gets her stuff worked out. She wants to try and transfer her probation to CA where her boyfriend (until recently a coworker of mine) is - but who knows how long that will take, or if they'll transfer her.

I'm supporting her totally at the moment - which will include her court fines and probation fees for awhile. I'm not at work right now because I took the day off to get her to her first meeting w/ the probation officer - in a town 45 minutes away in GOOD weather, longer because it's knarly outside right now.

My situation is also a little different in that I offered for her to stay here, I wasn't asked. I didn't exactly know what I was getting into, but I knew it may not be a simple matter of just giving her a place to crash for a month. And it certainly hasn't turned out that way. She really has no where else to go though - her mother's husband molested her for most of her childhood, and the mother turned on HER instead of the husband. The girl has lived her life being blamed for his year in jail and for him not being allowed to live in the house with them - he moved back in immediately after Jen left the house. She has no life skills, doesn't know how to take care of herself, and doesn't trust herself with anything more than $15 due to her addiction.

Right now we're focused on trying to get her license (who knows how long that will take), get her a job - where I'll control all of her money and help teach her to budget (by her request) - and trying to get her major screwing by the court system straightened out.

Whew.

[Blue_Roses]

6. WOW--my hat goes off toyou

:thumbsup:

[Madrone]

7. She makes it easy.

She's such a beautiful, vibrant young woman with a lovely attitude and a good head on her shoulders .... And she's had such a horrible, horrible life that she's not allowed to break her spirit of kindness and care for other people .... I can't imagine NOT helping her.

She WANTS to do well, and she's displayed a herculean effort trying to get her life in order - she just needs someone in her corner. She's spent her whole life being told she's crap - it's way past overdue for her to get some moral support.

If it weren't for HER attitude and HER efforts I would have never extended the invitation. She's a neat person.

[underpants]

5. My brother back when he was drinking

I probably could have handled that better but I thought he wasn't drinking. I have no sense of smell and he wasn't acting drunk but the garbage was always taken out when I got home.

He went downhill after I helped get back on his feet.