The Paramenapaus Rant Thread

[Le Taz Hot]

OK, so I have like 17 people on ignore now. I just got my first admonition letter from a Mod (apparently they didn't find that "stuck on stupid" remark amusing -- go figure.) My husband is longing for the good ole' days of PMS. I heard some husband say that paramenapaus is like PMS on steroids.



- I can't sleep anymore.
- I keep gaining weight despite the fact I'm exercising regularly and eating almost exclusively fresh fruits and veggies.
- I'm having a FULL period every two weeks whether I need one or not.
- I have NO tolerance. (Yesterday I went into a rage because my husband didn't fold the towels properly.) :eyes:
- I have no patience.
- I'm getting so bitchy *I* don't even like me.

And the first person who says, "So, Taz, how is that different from your regular personality" I'm going to slap upside the head.



For now.

[GOPisEvil]

1. So, Taz...How is that...

OW! Stop with the kicking!! STOP WITH THE KICKING!!!!

Seriously though, I realize that the worst period of my relationship with my mother when during this stage of her life. Now, we get along pretty well. You'll get through it - just hope that there aren't any dead bodies along the way.

:-)

[Le Taz Hot]

6. Yeah, see, it's that "dead bodies" thing

that I'm beginning to worry about. I'm guessing, the "raging hormones" defense would probably have limited success.

[cherryperry]

2. Well, that's a start ...

now, just make a left and support Kucinich instead of Dean. It won't make any difference (except for in your soul), but do it anyway okay?:hi:

[Le Taz Hot]

7. Nope. Can't do it.

You see, I want to have the man's children. I LOVE this guy. If Kucinich gets the nomination, I'll be right there with my vote for him, but until then . . .


The Doctor is SOOOOOO In! :hi:

[demnan]

3. After that you'll go through a time

when you skip your periods and you won't know when you're supposed to have a cycle, but it's better, the mood improves. So it doesn't last forever.

Seriously, if you have the periods every two weeks for long you may have something wrong other than the Paramenapaus (such as a thyroid condition) so keep an eye on that with your physician.

[izzie]

4. gone one day and not a thing wrong.

My head tells me it may be all in the mind but I am a none pill taker all I can say is sorry for your trouble.

[supernova]

5. You might want to invest

in a walk-in freezer.

I hear the power surges are equally entertaining. :D

[Le Taz Hot]

10. Ah, yes, the power surges

what the HELL is up with that sh*t? Jaysus! Sitting there, minding my own damned business and WHAM! The room's suddenly 120 degrees and I'm tearing off clothes, gasping for oxygen on my way to try and climb into the refrigerator.

Note to self: Check sales on walk-in freezers.

[ima_sinnic]

8. sigh, and welcome

try taking lots of soy in some form (tablets/capsules, powdered drink mix, extra tofu, soy milk). HRT does help but I chose not to continue with that for budgetary reasons as well as the fact that there is a lot of controversy about it and possiblity of other associated health problems. Hope you're not a cigarette smoker. Over the last 10 years (I'm 57 now) I have kind of become a different person. I was bitchy for no reason, like you describe, but that calmed down. It does flare up when provoked by rude people. Memory not as good, huge belly developed and is hard to keep under control, interest in sex considerably declined, even my handwriting is different. I eat my heart out when I remember how I used to be a willowy size 8, now bulging and unsightly 14 and with a face that has definitely sagged. I accept myself now as an "elder" and try to let my otherwise unbitchy, sincerely interested and empathetic personality make up for my physical defects.

[sybylla]

9. Wow, you are scaring me, girl.

I just hit 40 and have been dealing well with that...until now. I know it's still at least 5 years away and hopefully 10 (crossing fingers), but that sounds miserable. When my sister-in-law told me that she couldn't sleep anymore, I said if it were me and I wasn't tired, I would just get up and do something for myself, you know, enjoy the solitude. After hearing all of what you're going through, I'm surprised she didn't deck me.

I know that my mom got a lot of relief from hormones. The more of these stories I hear, the stronger the desire to ask about them next time I see my doctor.

Okay, I've only heard this, but women in the know say that the other side of menopause is wonderful. Perhaps that thought can sustain us through those miserable, in-between years.

I'd like to know the darwinian arguement for having menopause. What on earth could the possible benefit be for this crap anyway?


on edit: grammar

[Le Taz Hot]

11. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

;-)

Actually, the symptoms are different on all women. A lot of women never have many symptoms, others have worse. Also, paramenapaus can start as early as 35 and as late as 55. It's an unpredictable little sucker and it comes in gradually until one day you can't help but notice you've turned into Syble.

[sybylla]

13. Yea, I heard the "as early as 35" thing too

But what you're going through is a little deeper into the process, in my understanding. My sisters-in-law hit that stage in their late 40's. I can't judge by my mom because she had a partial historectomy at 40 due to fibroids which caused her to have her period 3 weeks out of every month. I have no clue when she really would have started into the paramenopause. The same was true for her mom.

Fortunately no sign of fibroids yet for me. Though I did try to talk my ob/gyn into taking out my uterus when they tied my tubes. But, being a man, he couldn't bring himself to even hear my arguement - men. If they had to go through all this crap, they'd find a way not to have to deal with monthly bleeding let alone the paramenopausal "bleeding like a stuck pig" as my mom used to call it.

Like Supernova, I have been on the pill to regulate my period and tame it down somewhat. It worked, though I didn't like the weight gain, but now I'm off because my perscription and freebies ran out and my insurance won't pay for another exam until fall. So far, hormones are stil behaving but I imagine resumption of the crappy period will happen any month now.

[supernova]

12. I'm 41

and I take the pill to regulate my periods 'cause they got so heavy, not more frequent though, in my late 30s.

I don't think I'll be taking HRT when the time comes. Both my mother and my sister have had breast cancer. Just too much iffiness with it.

[ima_sinnic]

16. the "darwinian" thing:

as humans evolved, life expectancy was very low; people who lived into their 40s were "ancient." (It always freaks me out to realize that throughout most of history, until the last couple hundred years or so, crusades and wars and political campaigns and so on have been fought mostly by teenagers). Females are born with their full complement of eggs already formed; when they run out, that is when menopause sets in. Also explains why birth defects are more common among older mothers--as eggs age, they "go bad," as an indelicate gynecologist explained it to me once. I think that females have just been programmed to be able to produce and nurture eggs until an age that could be expected to live long enough to care for the offspring until they themselves are old enough to reproduce. Evolution just has not caught up with the very fast developments of modern history, which have greatly extended life expectancy (at least in "first world" countries).

[shimmergal]

20. The Darwininan argument for menopause? . . .

I've looked into this a lot, as part of background research for a SF world in which I'm writing. Most anthropologists think it's because a child's survival chances increase when he/she has a grandmother around and able to help the mother with childrearing tasks, and everyone in the family/group benefits from her accumulated reason.

I believe this may be true. The mechanism may be, that if a woman keeps conceiving and bearing children all through her life, it's hard for her to have the energy and health to care for them all. Any child whose mother's natural lifespan outpaced her fertile years would have an enormous survival advantage. These small genetic differences in loss of fertility with age would become large over many generations.

BTW, I first got this insight from the sad story of Flo and her family. These were (real) chimps studied by Jane Goodall. Flo was an excellent mother but as she kept having babies her energy waned and she died. Not only did her nursing newborn die soon afterward but her older children died as well.

On the good side -- Soon after menopause I stopped smoking. I'd had the habit for 35 years and never had been able to quit before. I think hormones levels must have something to do with it. In general it's harder for women smokers to quit than men. Several other female ex-smokers have told me things that seem to confirm the hormone factor.

Can't speak to your other problems because I had a fairly easy perimenopause and menopause. But you have my sympathy, and yes, it does get better.

[mike_c]

14. I could TRY to be sweet...

...but I'm in much the same position as the improper towel folder these days, so I can sympathsize with you both, sort of.

[Lars39]

15. Get thee to a doctor !!!!!!

Two periods a month and all the *pms on steroids* is NOT normal, no matter how many girlfriends, moms, aunts, whatever, have suffered the same symptoms. Too many women put up with *female* problems, where if it was some other organ acting ugly, they'd get help. There's drugs, and treatments that could help. Be nice to yourself and find them, before more people start tiptoeing around you. :)

signed,
Lars(formerly known as Sybil)

[ima_sinnic]

17. vitamin E helps with hot flashes

. . . but I think an immunity might develop because, in my case, the vitamin did make them go away but after awhile (months) it didn't seem that effective anymore.

[bleedingheart]

18. I would go to the doctor...the period problem could be

giving you anemia... my sister started into this phase with too much menstrual bleeding and got really sick...

As for your no tolerance...well I just yelled at my husband last night about folding stuff..must be in the air.. ;-)

[Interrobang]

19. Jebus...that sounds like my PMS.

Don't tell *me* to go to the doctor, either, because I've been and

1) all the BCPs appropriate for me have lactose in them, and I'm deathly allergic (Lactaid doesn't really cut it)
2) I don't have supplementary insurance, and Canada doesn't have pharmacare, and I can't afford yet another prescription

My periods sometimes go missing for months, and I can have the short-fuse, insomnia, heart palpitations, you name it thing go on for weeks without end.

Good luck to you, and try not to kill anyone. The paperwork's a bigger bitch than we are.

[BigMcLargehuge]

21. All morning I've had funny things to add here

but I fear you'll kill me.

Here's to hoping you get over the paramilitarymenopausal syndrome that plagues you quickly and with a low body count.

[davsand]

22. Misery loves company!

I'm heading there rapidly, and it is a comfort to know that "here there be others..."

I don't want to put everyone in the TMI category, but I've noticed that the periods are starting to come a few days earlier than they used to. I've been ok with it, but I really do not look forward to the rest of it.

I've read some articles that suggest that low dose pills are offered by some Docs to help regulate perimenopause. Has anybody on here had any experience with those?

Laura

[geniph]

23. Me too

Perimenopause (that's how it's spelled, but don't hit me for that, please!) really bites the bag, doesn't it? I've always been kind of cocky about how mild my periods were and how little hormonal mood swings I had, and now I'm having periods about every three weeks and I'm angry all the frigging time. It sucks.

All I want to do is sleep, but everything wakes me up.

I have no waistline anymore. I always had such a tiny waist, and now it's thickening, I guess so Mother Nature can indicate visually, 'this one's no good for breeding anymore.' I hate it.

And let's not even go into the lack of desire area...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. Have you tried progesterone cream?

It's helped me beyond belief...

~hugs~

[Tahoe Mom]

25. All you have to do...

is read my signature line to know that I stand in your shoes!

I've been there for almost three years now. It started off with my periods coming 22 days apart and getting only a day and a half long. I was ragin' during those days -- it's a damn good thing I didn't have a car then -- I fear I would have run someone over. I also was crying every day and at everything -- not depressed, just weepy as hell -- and had "pounding heart", which you could literally see if you looked hard enough at my shirt.

Just around Thanksgiving I moved into a new hell -- periods started getting erratic and got terrible PMS like I have never had. Each month it's gotten worse. It got to the point where I had severe anxiety (24/7), insomnia (2 hours a night was good), severe depression (cyclical with my period), horrific hot flashes, and some really strange symptoms that I later found out are common, including changes in the eyesite, lower back pain and pain in the thighs, hot feet, memory loss and heartburn.

There is a WONDERFUL site that has amazing info on peri and great boards with women talking about all 34 signs of perimenopause and how they are dealing with them. I highly recommend every woman going through peri hit the site and spend a few hours there. I have found it to be invaluable. It's especially wonderful to visit when you are thinking that you MUST be going crazy -- when you read 100s of other ladies screaming "I AM LOSING MY MIND!" you just don't feel so abnormal anymore. :)

www.power-surge.com

[Hell Hath No Fury]

26. Oops!

I was fixing Mom's avatar for her and accidentially posted using her DU name. Tahoe Mom isn't peri -- I am.

And boy it sucks. :)

[Hell Hath No Fury]

27. 34 signs of peri...

The 34 Signs of Menopause:

1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats &/or cold flashes, clammy feeling. (related to increased activity in the autonomic/sympathetic nervous system)
2. Bouts of rapid heartbeat. (related to increased activity in the autonomic/sympathetic nervous system)
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears.
5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
6. Irregular periods: shorter, lighter or heavier periods, flooding, & phantom periods.
7. Loss of libido (sex drive).
8. Dry vagina (results in painful intercourse)
9. Crashing fatigue.
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease.
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, & doom (includes thoughts of death, picturing one's own death).
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, & mental confusion.
13. Disturbing memory lapses.
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing: urge incontinence.
15. Itchy, crawly skin -- feeling of ants crawling under the skin, not just dry, itchy skin, a.k.a "formication".
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons, and carpal tunnel syndrome.
17. Increased tension in muscles.
18. Breast tenderness.
19. Headache change: increase or decrease.
20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea.
21. Sudden bouts of bloat.
22. Depression (has a quality from other depression, the inability to cope is overwhelming, there is a feeling of a loss of self. Hormone therapy, ameliorates the depression dramatically)
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions.
24. Increase in allergies.
25. Weight gain. (is often around the waist and thighs, resulting in "the disappearing waistline" & changes in body shape.)
26. Hair loss or thinning, head or whole body, increase in facial hair.
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance.
28. Changes in body odor.
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin & in the head ("take the feeling of a rubber band snapping against the skin, multiply it, radiate it & put it in the layer of tissues between skin & muscle & sometimes a precursor to a hot flash.")
30. Tingling in the extremities (can also be a symptom of B-12 deficiency, diabetes, or from an alteration in the flexibility of blood vessels in the extremities.)
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding.
32. Burning tongue
33. Osteoporosis
34. Brittle fingernails, which peel & break easily.

Some additional signs:

-- internal shaking/tremor-like feelings
-- acne and other skin eruptions
-- itching wildly and erratic rashes
-- shoulder pain / joints / arthritis development or flare up
-- heart pain - a feeling of pain in the heart
-- acid reflux
-- sciatica, leg pain
-- restless leg syndrome

[geniph]

28. So, to sum it up

We're a sweaty, panicky, pissed-off, insomniac, bloody, crampy, sexually dysfunctional, tired, anxious, confused, forgetful, incontinent, itchy, achy, flatulent, bloated, depressed, sneezy, dizzy, smelly, brittle bunch.

Geez, this is fun. I'm SOOOOO looking forward to the next 10-15 years (my eldest sister, 13 years older than I am, just finished menopause, and I'm just entering perimenopause).

[Hell Hath No Fury]

30. In a word?

Yup.


One of the oddest things to happen to me (besides the "flashing vagina" thingy I have going) is the change in my body ordor.

I FRIGGIN REEK!

I have always been the type of person who had no smell and could get away with rarely using deodorent. Now I smell like a 15 year old boy after a couple of games of pick-up. And that's WITH the super strength Mitchum!

It's embarrassing sometimes...I advise all to stay upwind of me.

[TEXASYANKEE]

29. I'm with ya!

Peri-menopause is a B-I-T-C-H! I'm having a hard period every 17-21 days, horrible back aches, mood swings from hell, and night sweats. Ah, ain't life grand. SHIT NO! The doc is exploring all options at this point -- pelvic sonogram, endometrial biopsy, d&c, but with no firm conclusions thus far. I'm only 43. I'm too young for this kind of abuse and too old to be patient enough to put up with it!!

In other words, you have my deepest sympathy.

[geniph]

31. I'm also 43

and just starting this bullshit. I think I'm going back to the doc and demand to be put on birth control pills, which is kinda funny since I've had a tubal and my husband's had a vasectomy. But the pills at least kept me from having a period every few days.

Now if there was just a pill for being pissed off at everyone for being such inconsiderate assholes...

[davsand]

32. You know what stress REALLY is?

It is the result of suppressing the desire to choke the shit out of everyone who pisses you off...

Geni, you sound STRESSED! I gotta say, I am with you on this one. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel greatful for the fact that Illinois does not allow conceal and carry. I'd be leaving a trail of wounded and dying behind me.

Will the Pill help with any of this and when you go off it do you go thru a few months of living hell?

Laura