MatcomNews Update: Students Who Ate Sperm Salad Dressing Will Be Fine

[matcom]

really. this is the gift that keeps on giving :D

<snip>

Principal Jill Bullo assured parents in a letter last week that salad dressing contaminated by a Wheaton North High School student poses no health hazards.

"We are pleased to report that no follow-up medical attention is needed for any student who ingested Ranch salad dressing," Bullo said in the letter mailed to parents Dec. 22.

Marco Castro, 17, confessed to police Dec. 12 that he had taken a salad dressing container Dec. 6 from the school cafeteria and ejaculated into the contents in a nearby restroom. He then returned the container to the cafeteria.

According to Bullo, the matter has been investigated by the DuPage County Health Department and the Illinois Department of Public Health.
"Based on this investigation, students and parents do not need to take any health-related actions relative to this situation," Bullo said. "There is no risk to students."

http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/napervillesun/news/189060,6_1_NA28_SALAD_S1.article

[edbermac]

1. There goes my oatmeal...

Your timing is impeccable...:puke:

[matcom]

2. wasn't it yogurt last time?

:rofl:

[edbermac]

6. Yeah, that's why I switched!

Gotta learn not to eat and surf at the same time...x(

[matcom]

7. well, now that it's lunch time

can I get you a bacon/ranch chicken sammy from Wendy's?

[edbermac]

12. Gimme a coke, light on the ice and some chili, light on the fingers.

:rofl:

[ganeshji]

3. His parents must be so proud!

His ejaculate passed the health test! Yay! Buy an ice cream cake for Junior. Wait, on second thought...

[Yavin4]

10. Future Republican Nominee for President

According to them, everything is fair game until you hit 40.

[LaurenG]

4. Oh YUCK

Did they test the student for std's.




:puke: <--first time I've used this.

[underpants]

5. There's a Bullo on my Wheaton

:bounce:

[Strawman]

8. Other than their sudden appreciation for Rod Stewart's music

[Nickster]

9. AWWWWWWWWWW! LoL n/t

[itsmesgd]

11. the protein is good for the complextion, right

sorry, bad joke

[Generic Brad]

13. But some of them risk pregnancy...

...if they do unmentionable things with lettuce.

[SOteric]

14. However, no changes are currently contemplated in menu terminology.

:P

[KamaAina]

15. So it's OK to, uh, come back to the cafeteria?

:spank:

edit: header

[In_The_Wind]

16. Was anyone really worried?

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. Well, I guess they shouldn't worry about eating Apple Jacks either.

:rofl: :evilgrin: :hi:

[Fuzz]

18. So what was the name of the cheerleader that recognized the taste

and reported it to the authorities?

*runs for cover*

[Zavulon]

19. I haven't eaten a salad since first hearing about that story.

I'm not kidding. Not a leaf. :puke: