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My son sent me this. Subtle is always best.. Makes dolts think D'oh, after they thank you :)
Subtle Insults # "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." # "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." # "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." # "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" # "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." # "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." # "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." # "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." # "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." # "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." # "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." # "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." # "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." # "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." # "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." # "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." # "He had delusions of adequacy." # "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." # "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." # "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." # "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." # "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." # "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." # "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" # "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." # "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." # "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination." # "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
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