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She's only 28 years-old, and it is an especially aggressive form. Luckily her family has been able to afford exceptional medical care: she has gone through several rounds of chemotherapy; recently she completed an experimental treatment that offered some hope (it appeared that she was in remission) but a week later the cancer returned.
This last year has been difficult for me. On many occasions I closed my eyes and welcomed thoughts of death, albeit not pursued, but saw it as a respite from daily grief. But here is this young woman, only a few years younger than me, fighting for a life she wished to continue. Before her diagnosis she was completing her doctorate and was engaged to marry. She was embracing life; why must she pass on while I remain? A part of me wishes I could take her place - it isn't fair! And yet this is the situation before all of us.
An optimistic way of viewing this is that it's a moment to honor life, yet I am much too existential a person to care whether I am a part of the material world. I have been beaten back, but my friend's sister battles on. What dwells within a person to make her fight like this? Perhaps it's the basic human will to survive. Perhaps that is what I have lost - that will. Where did it go?
My friend left to be with his sister and his family for the next several weeks. They believe she may not see next year. When I spoke to my friend as he dealt with the stress of this over the year, I offered my support. And while I thought it improper for me to offer a false sense of hope, my friend exuded it from every part of his being. I so much wish I had his spirit. Perhaps, then, I could live day to day honoring life instead of fearing it.
Writer.
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