A blasphemous theological question for a Thursday night

[jmowreader]

You're one of God's helpers in Heaven. (Assume, for the purposes of this exercise, that there is a God and that there is a Heaven. Moreover, assume they let you in.)

You've just been handed a very weighty task: pick one of the neopharisees masquerading as an evangelical Christian preacher, and consign him to hell.

Your task has been made especially hard because God has already decided to send Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Donald Wildmon, Fred Phelps and Jack Chick to hell.

Your turn. Who goes?

I think I'd eschew the standard answers--the megaassholes like Jack Van Impe and the Crouches--and choose one of the preachers who have spent the parishioners' contributions on enormous crosses in front of their churches. As I remember, one of the Fifteen Commandments God passed down to Moses forbade building 700-foot crosses in front of your church. Besides...all those nice people in the pews who pony up ten percent of their income were thinking when they gave it that the money would be going to curing lepers, housing the homeless, and feeding the hungry, or at least into tuning the piano, buying Bibles that have covers on them, and fixing the church furnace, not into building $50,000 lawn ornaments.

[miss_american_pie]

1. Dobson

Children. Millstones.

[jmowreader]

4. Dobson's a good choice.

I especially enjoy his pet discipline methods.

[miss_american_pie]

6. Well of course

because there's no difference between the two. :hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. I vote Dobson as well.

[BlueStorm]

3. Me too.

That and he is the only one I know. What about Baker though?

Blue

[jmowreader]

7. God assigned Jim Bakker to hell a LONG time ago

Using your church as a tax dodge, like Bakker did, pretty much guarantees you a one-way trip to hell.

[BlueStorm]

8. I see n/t

[mainegreen]

5. I'd blend their souls together to create Jerry Swaggart Wildmon Pat Jack Phelps

And send then new one person to hell.