|
for Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously: > > 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. > 2. A day without sunshine is like. Night. > 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. > 4. 42.7 % of all statistics are made up on the spot. > 5. 99 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name. > 6. Remember, ½ the people you know are below average. > 7. He who laughs last thinks slowest. > 8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. > 9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets > The cheese in the trap. > 10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. > 11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. > 12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. > 13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. > 14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. > 15. OK, so what's the speed of dark? > 16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. > 17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. > 18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. > 19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? > 20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. > 21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? > 22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. > 23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? > 24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. > 25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. > 26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear > Bright until you hear them speak. > 27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of > Jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow. > >
|