the Exedrin Headache Diary of all CAPTIONS

[cosmicdot]

I'm channeling the Big Head upstairs ... only man and woman marriages ... don't ostracize homosexuals ... throw stones ... no don't throw stones ... I live in a white house ... there's glass in the windows and stuff ... I am mindful that we're all sinners, and I caution those who may try to take the speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own ... did I actually say that? ... why am I presidentalizing like an evangelist? ... why can't I keep church and state separate? ... why can't I say to all the kooks out there who would just assume hog tie and drag than be tolerant to just let live ... I'm losing connection now ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... and, we'll find those thoughts or ideas for programs of weapons of mash destruckschion ... evil doers ... terrorists ... 'muricans are secure and resolved and stuff ...

[skip fox]

1. "No, no. You gotta massage them gently first, then

poke your thumbs hard in your temples and you see all the great lights and stuff. Once I hung myself
and Jeb cut me down, but I had a bonerfor a week. I never sniffed gas after my senior year in high
school, but I can still remember what the inside of my head sounded like: like a long string of
firecrackers in a museum or a church. Wow. That was great. But I had to stop because of the
vomiting. I think of it like . . . well, . . . our bodies are like God's temples . . . and he gave them
to us . . . to take care of . . . but also so we could have a lot of fun. Wow."

[liberalpress]

2. Them voices in my head...

..they keep tellin' me I'm President. But that cain't be right.. Presidentin' is HARD. Daddy?!

[PurityOfEssence]

3. Presto, change-o: W becomes Pat Robertson

scaaaaary...

[LosinIt]

4. The Great Karnac

knows the answers. Yeah right.

[Peachhead22]

5. Stupendous man

"If Saddam was right in front of me? Why, I'd put my hands to my head like this and Nuculer Rays of Freedomness would shoot out of my eyeballs and fry him like a bug under a magnifying glass in the hot Texas sun. Ya see, I'm not just the Prezdent, I Stupendous Man"

[underpants]

6. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 3

(W unveils new entertaining "trick" at campaign fundraisers)

(the Crowd) Mummble mumble mumble (sounds of feet hitting the ground in counts of 1's and 3's) mummble mumble mumble mumble "umm4?!?!?" is cried out from the back of the room mumble mumble mumble............

[Peachhead22]

7. My brain hurts

"You darn repoters were given the script, right? Well, ya gotta stick to the script! That last question was too hard. I gotta go back to my Nintendo game, my brain hurts."

[smallprint]

8. can you hear me now?

how bout now? betcha can't cuz i'm talkin in my head. unless yer psychic n stuff... heh heh i can think about any darn thing i want to, and i'll just make a frowny face, and that makes me look prezidenchal n stuff heh heh but secretly i'm thinkin bout nekkid wimmin heh heh n cool airplanes i luv planes heh heh n my favrit ice cream is chocolate... wait no it's strawberry... heh heh i'm gonna make me a smoothie with a big ole shot of bacardi as soon as you press reporter stinkin libral types get out o my face... heh heh maybe forget the smoothie, i'll just take the bacardi heh heh n play with my segway... heh heh etc etc etc

[skip fox]

9. Welcome to DU, smallprint!

and keep on CAPTIONing . . . :toast:

[rock]

10. Double salute! Hah!

[Fenris]

11. W. is "reckonin'":

"Dammit, why don't I have eyes that shoot out death rays. That guy in the X-Men movie had them. The blind feller? He wore sunglasses? Oh, yeah. Like Ray Charles. Man that guy's cool. If I had death rays I'd totally melt these mouthy mofos that keep lobbing stupid questions at me. Like this dumbass I'm supposed to be listening to now. He keeps on babbling about WMDs, gay marriage, intelligence failures...shut the fuck up! I want to go back inside and watch a ballgame or at the very least my soaps. God, I hope Karl remembered to record One Life to Live today. Troy's about to tear that Nora bi-atch a new one, and that paranoid slut Gabriel is hanging out in the morgue. Oh...he stopped talking...I guess I'm supposed to answer the question...I don't know what the fuck it is...uh oh..."

[Not a robought]

12. News article

"...taking a short break from a heated press conference, the popular President wowed the crowd with his unique, but rarely if ever seen abilities in performance art. In the maneuver above, he forms his favorite symbol from the Total Information Awareness project and the dollar bill, the pyramid; closing off the shape at the top with an assymitrical "pinhead". Much applause was heard..."

[LuLu550]

13. "It just keeps rolling around in there..."

that iddy biddy little brain of his.
LuLu