You just gave 2 weeks notice at a job you disliked...

[NewJeffCT]

The person that hired you knew you were unhappy for at least a little while, but still asks you to put down your thoughts in an email. He even asks you to be brutally honest, if necessary.

What would you do?

Would you really be brutally honest, or do you try to be nice & not burn any bridges?

(My wife is the one that gave the 2 weeks notice, but she is not sure it is appropriate to put it all down in an email.)

[lizziegrace]

1. IF she chooses to do this

keep emotion and opinion out of it. Stick to the facts.

I'd be leary of doing this, especially in writing. I'm interested to hear what others think.

[KurtNYC]

6. Would ask to do it verbally - exit interview

They want this info and can't even make time to meet face to face for it ....I can see why someone is leaving.

[leftofthedial]

2. don't burn any bridges

[MrCoffee]

3. i vote no, keep the rage and bile inside.

she's outta there anyway, and it would do no good at all to kick the anthill now. just move on.

[lizziegrace]

4. The person who hired her knows what's going on there

I don't think I'd respond to his/her request.

[LostinVA]

16. Ditto -- no reason to be asked or to do so

[NewWaveChick1981]

5. I try never to burn bridges.

You can be tactful and honest without being brutal, and if it is in writing, tactful is the way to go. State facts only, and do not inject any emotion into such an email or letter. The more matter-of-fact, the better. You never know when something like that may come back to haunt you.

[Haole Girl]

7. Oh please don't burn any bridges

no matter how tempting it might be. You never (and I mean never) know when and where you might run across people from that job again. It's not worth the temporary release you might get. Trust me on this one. :hi:

[Bunny]

8. Under no circumstances would I put anything in writing.

I probably wouldn't verbalize much, either. Too great a danger with bridge-burning in these modern times.

[datasuspect]

9. don't write anything

they are trying to protect themselves against future litigation.

[Gormy Cuss]

10. If she can't same something positive, don't say anything at all.

Burning bridges in writing is rarely a good idea. If she can say something simply and relatively benign as a reason that she has decided to move on, she can. I left a job that I loved because I hated the new management and they knew it. In my exit interview I wrote only of changes in the corporate product focus and my desire to continue working in the old area. I'm sure at least one of my managers blew a gasket because I didn't give him the bridge burning letter that he could use to show the senior manager that I quit because of my own unreasonableness, not his poor management.

[TheBaldyMan]

11. there is a difference between being truthful and spilling your guts.

try and be honest but leave out any personal stuff (even if that was a factor). Your ex-boss probably just wants to fix stuff so the next hire lasts a bit longer than two weeks.

[NewJeffCT]

23. well, she was there for over a year

So, it's not like she was there for 2 weeks.

The company seems to have people leave in a year or less, or else they stick around forever.

[TheBaldyMan]

25. thanks for the clarification,

I admit I don't know about the situation, so I'll speculate that the job conditions were not good, rather than any personality problems. It could be the boss is either trying to cover his own butt from any possible legal action (and wants something in writing) or may genuinely want feedback so conditions can be improved. You'll have a better idea than me if the second option sounds like BS.

I shouldn't comment on the legal ramifications as I am not familiar with the US system, it does seem far more litigious than Britain. Please don't take this as legal advice. Would it be possible to first get something in writing from the ex-boss affirming that any feedback provided would be provided without prejudice regarding any future claim against the firm? This might get him to back off if it is solely a legal manoeuvre.

[Fleshdancer]

12. leave out the emotion

I would provide constructive criticisms, not attribute problems to specific names and make it as professional as possible. This might help them from repeating the same mistakes with the new employee and it shouldn't burn bridges if done correctly. What could be done to make the work environment more hospitable? What are the current obstacles? How may things be done differently? That sort of thing.

I think it's an odd request but maybe the company would benefit from reading it. :shrug:

[jobycom]

13. NEVER in an email

Too easy to forward.

My own thoughts is there is no need to burn bridges, short of criminal activity and pure discrimination. Her response shouldn't be about revenge, but about moving on. If there is a legite problem that she feels she can help correct for others who still work there, spell it out in a polite, diplomatic manner. If she feels that nothing she says will really change anything, or if her issues with the company were just personal, she'd be a fool to spell that out.

In other words, she could say something like "While I enjoyed the opportunity your company offered me, I feel that the company policy of (whatever) hindered my ability to do the job I am most capable of doing for your company, so I am moving so that you may find a better fit for the job." She should not say something like "You know what? That jackass boss Smithers should try mouthwash and should take some courses on how to not be a whiney selfish dick!"

You never know who will know someone who knows someone who remembers your exit letter because of how vicious it was. You don't really want anyone to remember that letter.

[wildhorses]

14. I would not write anything.

I would just say that I am leaving to pursue my career goals and leave it at that...

People in this instances really do NOT want honesty and often slay the messenger.

[LostinVA]

15. I would totally NOT put this into writing

Because, why does this person even need this info??? What purpose does it serve? None legally that I know of. If your wife wants, she can tell HR verbally about stuff, but that's as far as I'd go.

I don't trust the motives of the person asking her to do this...

[calico1]

17. I would try to do it verbally. If the written form

could not be avoided I would resist being "brutally honest." That could very well be a trap. I would express my reasons for leaving in a diplomatic way.


As for burning bridges, it can be so tempting to be brutally honest or just tell someone off. But we live in a small world and you just never know who you might run into or when or if you will need a favor from that person later on. She should be diplomatic and as nice as she can. Then afterwards you and her can go out and she can bitch to you about her ex boss.

[philosophie_en_rose]

18. Written communication will come back to haunt you.

I would be honest, but not brutally so.

I would also put whatever is said in a physical letter.

"Dear {Name of Boss}:

Please accept my resignation from {position}, effective {date}. I am leaving {company} for {personal reasons, career advancement, go back to school, etc.}

I wish {company} luck in its endeavors.

Sincerely,

{name}"

Anything more serious does not belong in a resignation letter or email. It belongs to an exit interview, and ONLY if there is something in writing that it won't be used against her in the future. If she does write an email, she should start with "I'm writing this email at your request, with the understanding that its contents are private and will not be used in the future..." or something like that.

HOWEVER: If there is a serious reason that your wife is leaving, like harassment or racism or safety concerns. I would mention those behaviors in all communications, in order to document them. Also, if there is something unethical in the company, your wife can distance herself from them by documenting those concerns as well.

[idgiehkt]

19. I agree with the 'not in writing' people.

trust me on this one. The conspiracy theorist in me almost thinks it's a trap or something.

[ScreamingMeemie]

20. Tell him you'll meet him for coffee... This is what MrG just did with the

owner of his company. They talked, ironed out the problem, MrG has a chance to buy in and the respect of the owner. This is what I would do. I wouldn't put it in writing though.

[Shakespeare]

21. DO NOT do this!!

And I speak as someone who's worked in the legal field in labor & employment matters. Don't EVER do anything like this.

[HEyHEY]

22. It depends what you mean by "Brutally honest"

"It wasn't a comfortable work environment because of the negative attitude of other staff." Is fine.
However, "Your B.O. made me too sick to work there." Is over the top.

[Blue Diadem]

24. Never never never put her feelings in writing,

It'll come back to bite her.

Even if an employer is not supposed to say anything negative about a former employee, I know of circumstances where they did. IIRC, the ensuing lawsuit accomplished nothing.

I haven't been in the work force for several years now..but I know my husband did have an exit interview..which I thought was strange. If they don't care enough to change things while you work there, why would they care when you leave?